Oldham.
A tea-cake is a soft, light, circular and bread roll. A muffin is also bread, but slightly larger and a different texture. An oven-bottom muffin looks as if it's spent too long in the oven. Oven-bottoms are good with melted cheese, with sausages or bacon. You'll need brown sauce - or red sauce if you're a lightweight - with that.
Thick slices of white bread, toasted, should be served hot with obscene amounts of butter and 'treacle', which is golden syrup. You've achieved perfection if the butter/syrup runs up your sleeves.
A bun is a small cake. 'Knock-up buns' are the ones you 'knock up' in a few minutes (equal-measure cakes) and can have dried fruit or cherries in them, or icing on top. If you start them as unexpected guests arrive, they'll be ready by the time the china is out and the kettle is boiled.
My grandad would have told you about the 'ha'penny duck' from a stall near the market, but I never saw that myself.
The vicar, arriving unannounced, should be served tea unless the weather is cold, when you press him to take a little whisky for his good health. He visits more frequently in winter.