Does anyone follow Deborah James? (AKA Bowel Babe)

[NoWigNoWit]

www.instagram.com/bowelbabe/p/CYr47RBoWRv/?utm_medium=share_sheet

I’ve been following her for a few years now and this is her latest update. She’s such an incredible and inspirational woman.

I don’t know her whatsoever but it’s made feel sad reading this and I have everything crossed for her she makes a speedy recovery.

(Not sure if this will link!)

@Can’t believe that posters on here are criticising her for not dying painfully enough !! FFS !! If you were facing your final days wouldn’t you hope for it to be painless and peaceful!! We should all have a “good” death !! I lost a parent to cancer and it was peaceful with the right pain relief and sedation. And yes, remember she has two teenager children who will read everything !! Posters on here really need to give their heads a wobble !!

@WTFGG oh do be quiet with your head wobble nonsense!! Obviously everyone should have a good death but it's not the reality for lots of people. A columnist at the weekend was praising Deborah for planning a good death surrounded by loving family and champagne rather then being in a 'soulless hospital or hospice' this is highly offensive to people that have no choice in the matter.

Everyone should have a choice in the matter because the NHS should be able to provide proper pain relief. It shouldn't' be something you end up having to be rich for.

I have only really caught up with Deborah's story last week although I knew about Rachel Bland and the podcast they did together. I donated to the fund and I think she has achieved a great deal. I hope she does have a (physically) pain-free death and that her family are left to grieve in private.

But surely her way of thinking this is what's getting her through this terrifying stage in her life? The inevitable is too scary to think about.

I agree .A lot of people seem unaware that you don't die in hospice's anymore .You get hospice care at home or go back into hospital .My ex died last year of lung cancer at 54 , he chose to die in hospital .People have no way to plan for a " good " death , everyone's is different . Someone could put your favourite music on and hold your hand but in the end we die alone .I feel it's a bad time for Adele Roberts and Tracy Emin who both have the same condition ,and the thousands of others who are suffering ,and sad like I did when Lynda Bellingham reached her end .I remember she said " we'll be ok , we'll all be ok " and she was right .

She has nothing but my respect and appreciation, including for the shimmying through it all....her choice to handle it that way and I applaud her. Not all of us could handle such a trial with such positivity and grace but she has and I am glad her efforts have been recognised. May her final days be peaceful as is possible, her legacy will live on in a way few of us ever manage to pull off. Just sending love her way and to her close family who must face losing her in their lives.

A lot of people seem unaware that you don't die in hospice's anymore

That’s not true. I know two people who died in the hospice just last year.

Snowiscold - I'm confused now .Maybe there are still some hospice's where you can choose to die ? but my ex and a friend were told they were being sent home for hospice care - they both died very quickly .Maybe it depends on your area and whether you have family or live alone .
Bookeascapeartist - she looks terribly thin in that picture ,sad to see.

If you look at any of the cancer charities, or Marie Curie, or the NHS, they all say you can choose die in a hospice. However, there may not be an available bed. That can be a problem. Certainly, Deborah James looked round a hospice when she was looking at where to die. She made a video about it. www.cancerresearchuk.org/about-cancer/coping/dying-with-cancer/making-plans/choosing-where-to-die

I know someone who works forthat t a hospice and people definitely die there. Maybe people who have another option choose not to do so but good that they exist for others.