Does anyone follow Deborah James? (AKA Bowel Babe)

[NoWigNoWit]

www.instagram.com/bowelbabe/p/CYr47RBoWRv/?utm_medium=share_sheet

I’ve been following her for a few years now and this is her latest update. She’s such an incredible and inspirational woman.

I don’t know her whatsoever but it’s made feel sad reading this and I have everything crossed for her she makes a speedy recovery.

(Not sure if this will link!)

I am really sorry to read about your friend's experience @Floundery and equally wouldn't want to get into a debate. We are absolutely on the same page in that access to treatment needs to be better for everyone.

[quote Floundery]@Schnauzerwowzer I have not mentioned hope about survival - I agree with you there.

But any NHS patient with metastatic disease “hoping” for all those novel treatments and interventions is going to be disappointed. It’s a falsehood, without some serious wedge.

And it seems remiss to me that when discussing survival, this is not noted as an obvious mitigating factor.[/quote]
But these issues have been discussed in the You, Me and the Big C podcast. I know this because I listened to some of them with my late friend. The episode about Proton therapy for example explained how even when there was access to it, it tends to be more suitable for younger patients, and all sorts of other factors come in to play as to position of tumours, age of patient, tolerance of each individual etc. It's not as black and white as well funded or not, although that obviously has a massive impact. But isn't it better overall that more cancer patients know about the cyber knife and proton therapy treatments so that they can start asking for them and demanding that these treatments are more readily available? Isn't it better that people are at least aware of new treatments on the horizon?

For me personally, I have always appreciated seeing social media, blog posts etc. showing stage 4 cancer patients surviving and thriving.

I actively sought these out on diagnosis and it brought me hope and comfort, and I don't see this as "false" hope, these are real people, (all manner of circumstances), so if they are surviving and living well, it gives me hope that I can too.

Stage 4 patients know the score, and likely know their own personal survival expectations, and we are well aware that we may not have long left (there is plenty of coverage of this on social media too). Yet to see others defying the odds can bring so much hope.

I follow a woman in the US who has been living with my particular kind of cancer for 27 years, and while I know that statistically I won't get there, it makes me smile to see her updates and know she's out there doing well.

It was a struggle initially to figure out the right balance between optimism and realism, but I think I've managed it now. (In the early days I used to ask my therapist whether she thought I was in denial - and she'd tell me no - I was just having a good day 😊)

I guess what I'm trying to say is that stage 4 doesn't need to be "no hope land" there are growing numbers of us outliving our prognoses, and I do believe that my generation will see further significant improvements in outcomes. I think we can promote hope and optimism while still being compassionate and sensitive to the fact that so much more needs to be done to improve survival rates for all.

"In my view, the problem is not lack of symptom awareness - it’s the bottleneck young people face with intransigent GP’s and the glacial pace of the NHS. But that’s another thread for another day."

Absolutely - I don't believe I would be a stage 4 patient today if my GP had not dismissed my concerned aged 31 (eventually diagnosed at 33) - but as you say - a topic for another day.

Not everyone is everyone's cup of tea, and that includes people with cancer.

Believe me, within the Instagram cancer community there are some lovely people, some Queen Bees/cliques, some attention seekers, some who want to raise their own profile, infighting and all the rest of it. Because guess what, people with cancer aren't special or 'chosen for the fight' they are just normal people like everyone else, and not everyone likes everyone.

@DoreensEatingHerSoreen

Also ... and I'll hold my hands up if I'm wing here ... but hasn't a lot of Debra's treatment (including some of the trials etc) been NHS?

I don't remember the details, but I'm sure her treatment has been a mix of both NHS and private

No, I think most of hers has been private. There is a private ward at the Royal Marsden and she has had access to treatments that most other bowel cancer patients just don't seem to get, or certainly weren't getting back in 2018/19.

Maybe being on a private ward is how she gets away with all the tik tok dancing attached to a chemo pump etc? I certainly can't imagine anyone getting up and filming themselves prancing around in the NHS chemo unit I was in, it would have been completely inappropriate!

She can afford to go private, she's attractive and sexy, I just feel sorry for the quieter, poorer, plainer cancer sufferers who have to watch her parading around.

I do follow bowelbabe and have for a few years now and I do find her remarkably inspiring. However, having watched a member of my own family die from cancer after a 10 year battle I know that the reality is very different so I always keep that in mind.
Essentially she has made cancer her career which has propelled her into the limelight, not something that every cancer patient would choose to do but if it leaves a legacy for her children and some financial stability who are we to argue.

Why was my comment saying that she is indeed ‘incredible’ deleted? Seriously?

@SouthernFashionista

Why was my comment saying that she is indeed ‘incredible’ deleted? Seriously?

It did sound quite bitchy to be fair...

She's posted her entire ordeal in the sun now, it sounds absolutely horrendous. I really feel for her kids

@HarreePotter- I read her article which I cowardly found hard to read, so I cannot imagine what it was like for her actually going through it.
She is absolutely amazing and her fighting spirit is mind blowing 💜

Bagelsandbrie you don't really mix and match private and NHS. Once you're in the private system that's pretty much where you stay if it is funded by health insurance. It may be different for self funders, but I don't know this woman or her circumstances.

My husband was treated privately for cancer and I suspect that it made a big difference to his treatments and outcomes. I'm fairly sure they would have wiped out a couple of organs fairly quickly rather than treating for 7 plus years. He's now mostly intact and cancer free. Having a nice private room, good food and friendly faces you recognise every time makes a huge difference to the health care experience and quality of life.

I understand people being judgemental because that is what humans love doing. Truth is that pretty people are divisive, some people admire them whilst others are irked that they get attention for the fluke of being born better looking than average. So I think there is some of this going on here, irkedness that she is getting ( probably more) attention for having cancer whilst being one of those pretty ticket lottery winners. The woman is putting up a spirited fight against something that will end her life before her children see adulthood. Whilst doing that she has placed a spotlight on bowel cancer and will have saved lives in doing so and so put your irkedness away and save it for something more worthy of it ladies. Is she wants to shimmie and pose half naked and it makes her feel good or better in any way who are we to begrudge her whatever escapism it affords against the knowledge that no matter how hard she fights this cancer is going to end her life within the next year or two. Fight on and shimmy on Deborah.

@HarreePotter

She's posted her entire ordeal in the sun now, it sounds absolutely horrendous. I really feel for her kids

This is what I struggle with.

On Insta she said she couldn't bear to talk about it, might never be able to talk about it. Yet all of a sudden it's there, on her Sun column.

I do wish her the very best with her ongoing treatment.

What I find ultimately depressing is the thought of her coming onto this thread and reading some of the really mean comments written. Whatever her treatment, at the end of the day she is just living her life the best way she can, trying to make the best of the time she has for both herself and for her family to remember. If she's earning money from advertising to pay for treatment well good on her, if she's earning money because she CAN well good on her - she'll have comfort in knowing shes left some extra £ for her kids. I'm astounded there is even comment as to 'she's not raised £ since 2019' - is she even obligated to? I would not trade places with her. And I don't resent her money or anything else. If she is posting herself having a laugh, trying to look and feel sexy to feel good about herself then great, why not? No one is MAKING anyone follow her? If people don't want to see it, they can UNFOLLOW. Deborah, If you are reading this thread. Totally dismiss the shitty comments and only absorb the good ones, as you know full well, life is too short to worry about everyone else's opinions. You do you.

FMLpassthegin (and greengrassapreciationsociety)

I'm so glad you posted that because it sounds like DB has read negative comments about herself on sm and has been distressed about it, as she addresses these issues in the following podcast on BBC sounds and she is obviously aware of the criticisms of her because she said she is "just putting her individual experience of cancer out there", nothing more:

www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/p0bphzy7

She has been through hell recently, nearly died after a very traumatic bleed, had to have litres of fluid drained from her body, go through five successive operations and procedures, and ^while^ she was recovering from all of this in hospital, she has been reading negative comments about herself! All while not being allowed any visitors because of Covid.

So way to go detractors! Hope you are proud!

I think this post should actually be removed now.

I agree @TequilaShot.