Does anyone follow Deborah James? (AKA Bowel Babe)

[NoWigNoWit]

www.instagram.com/bowelbabe/p/CYr47RBoWRv/?utm_medium=share_sheet

I’ve been following her for a few years now and this is her latest update. She’s such an incredible and inspirational woman.

I don’t know her whatsoever but it’s made feel sad reading this and I have everything crossed for her she makes a speedy recovery.

(Not sure if this will link!)

[quote lollipoprainbow]@Schnauzerwowzer this obsession with her being beautiful, so what ! Being beautiful doesn't make you immune from cancer. I feel for her but this notion and shock horror that someone so attractive and beautiful should be struck down with this awful disease is ridiculous. [/quote]
I think you have totally mis-understood my post or deliberately misinterpreted it. Of course cancer can strike anyone at any age. I have personal experience of this sadly. I was saying she was intelligent, beautiful, energetic BEFORE cancer , so why should she react to cancer by sublimating those parts of her personality? Why can't she be herself?

would it be okay if she had a face like a bag of spanners?

Well, of course it wouldn’t be ok that she had cancer if she was unattractive. But strangers wouldn’t care so much, there wouldn’t be so much ‘attention’.

Evolution has programmed us to place a very, very high value on physical beauty.

Say 2 birds become extinct, one is brown and nothing to write home about, the other is a bird of paradise. Which do you think will make the headlines?

It’s how we humans are, as a society we do place a huge value on beauty, and that plays out in a multitude of ways. For good or worse.

There's no "shaming" here. DJ has a public profile and she clearly very much wants people to see it and her. Not everyone will be a fan.

Floundery really?
You said "She is of course perfectly entitled to make reel after reel of herself pouting half naked in the chemo ward and post it on IG"

Sorry but that sounds very much like shaming to me!

Floundery. I do absolutely understand that people don't always "agree on stuff" but you can do that without shaming them, or simply not watching them.

The point is surely that cancer is indiscriminate. There are cancer patients of all different nationalities, ages, intellect, and levels of attractiveness and prosperity, all of whom are individuals, who don't all act uniformly and why should they? Every single one is as valuable as the other. What someone thinks of as "wierd" someone else may think is perfectly understandable. DJ is one unique individual and I defend her right to negotiate this appalling blow of cancer, in any way she chooses. If she wants to do this fairly publically while dressed in sequins and a full face of make up, then I defend her right to do that. Just as I would defend the right of someone to go through treatment privately, not even telling their friends. I think there is no "right" or "wrong" way to react to having cancer.

I absolutely love her and she probably saved my life when her story randomly came across my Facebook here in Australia 5 years ago.

I’d been putting off for months seeing a Dr about the symptoms I was having but her story gave me the kick in the pants I needed to sort myself out for my kids.

If she’s making money from her situation - good for her. If she’s able to pay for private treatment - good for her. We’d all do the same if we could!

The side by side videos of her dancing to Beauty and The Beast with her son broke my heart.

Afternoon, everyone. We've deleted a few posts here so we just wanted to pop onto the thread to remind people of our talk guidelines.

Of course we don't expect everyone to be everyone else's cup of tea and we don't expect relentless positivity about anyone either, but we won't host personal comments or anything that just seems mean, particularly about a woman who is so ill. It's just not in the spirit of the site, we think.

We hope you can see where we're coming from. to all of you going through similar difficulties or with family or friends with cancer, too.

There are some inaccuracies being written.
DJ wasn’t the head of a primary school. She has never had a stoma and hasn’t been credited for raising money for bowel cancer uk since 2019.

She certainly has raised the profile of bowel cancer in the young, which is commendable. However in the past year or so, approx 70% of her Instagram posts have been adverts. I think she started out with good intents, but then got a bit greedy.

Does anyone else see the irony in complaining about posters being unkind, by calling said posters ‘fucking vile’?

Lovely to see my post was deleted. Never mind anyone else’s feelings.

Indeed @Floundery what would we know?

I dont give one jot that she is doing sponsored ads isint everyone that can doing it? even love islanders for their 15 mins.Maybe the revenue is paying for treatment???or school pick for her kids or acupuncture or something or helping pay the mortgage. Like who cares !
If i was her id be doing anything to stay alive including working with advertisers for money..I absolutely love her attitude / love that she isint down in the dumps all of the time /love that she isint dying without a fight. Surely her shimmying in the ward gives hope to others going thru treatment and recovering. I mean stage 4 Bowel CA is no hope saloon but she has hope and fair play to her. Every single day is a bonus .A total inspiration !!!

Surely her shimmying in the ward gives hope to others going thru treatment and recovering

That's an interesting suggestion, how though does it have any affect on the statistical chance of surviving cancer?

I can't comment on whether a cancer patient is given hope by seeing another cancer patient dancing but if they were it can't change their outcome so if anything isn't it a false hope?

@7eleven

Does anyone else see the irony in complaining about posters being unkind, by calling said posters ‘fucking vile’?

Indeed, also calling other people who are actually going through similar as DJ “fucking vile”! Ugh.

@7eleven

There are some inaccuracies being written. DJ wasn’t the head of a primary school. She has never had a stoma and hasn’t been credited for raising money for bowel cancer uk since 2019.

She certainly has raised the profile of bowel cancer in the young, which is commendable. However in the past year or so, approx 70% of her Instagram posts have been adverts. I think she started out with good intents, but then got a bit greedy.

Ok so she was a deputy head brought in to turn around a failing comprehensive school; my point was that she has always worked even though I assume she could have afforded not to. Why shouldn't she spend the time she has left earning money, contributing to her DC's future? Isn't that her right? If she has always done that?

There is a picture of her with a stoma bag on Instagram right now if you care to look.

And yes her main fund-raising efforts took place in 2019 but perhaps she hasn't felt well enough to organise gala balls and fun runs since then? She won an award for fund-raising while having stage four cancer for heaven's sake! That is a huge achievement! She still promotes the Royal Marsden's Just giving page. And Bowel Cancer charities. And is still listing symptoms of bowel cancer on her Instagram page. Perhaps she isn't able to do more than that ATM because she is a little busy focusing on survival?

I'm a stage 4 cancer patient, I read Deb's book when I was first diagnosed and found it to be a huge comfort. She addresses the situation that she and I both find ourselves in with hope, humour, and compassion.

I love to see Deb's updates on social media, her blog and the podcast, knowing that she's come through so much and is able to bounce back and enjoy her life between difficult times gives me comfort and hope ... and it's not false hope, our outcomes will be what they will be, all stage 4 cancer patients know that, but to be reminded that we can live well with cancer in the mean time is certainly welcomed in my view, and definitely preferable to sad looks, head tilts and sympathy.

Just my two pence 🤷‍♀️

I think some people here need to listen to what she actually says, rather than their interpretation of it. She is absolutely not portraying false hope about her survival. She is very much, and always has been, focused on the science and statistics. Her message of hope is not so much about beating the odds but living positively while trying to, and grasping good moments in among all the shitty ones. That is undoubtedly easier to do when you don't have money worries , I'm not denying that, but equally, we all know that many rich people are not exactly the happiest either, even when they are well, and there are small things we can all be grateful for every day.. I wouldn't dream of calling anyone vile on here or anywhere else btw. And some posters on this thread who are being treated for cancer atm have found her output inspiring and helpful, as did my friend, and for that reason most of all, I wish her well.

[quote Floundery]@DoreensEatingHerSoreen if you’re “hoping” for cyberknife on the NHS, for example, you’re quite likely to be disappointed.[/quote]
I'll have disagree there as I have had the exact opposite experience! I needed an NHS referral for cyber knife for my liver mets as my corporate private health insurance wouldn't cover this! This didn't end up going ahead as a scan showed my chemo had shrunk the mets to an untreatable size (they later disappeared entirely).

Also two ladies I know of at my stage 4 on support group have had cyber knife treatment on the NHS, one has had gamma knife for brain mets, and honestly I can think of dozens more from online support groups - some private patients, some NHS.

Now I don't deny there are issues with access to treatment, inequalities across the UK constituent countries, and the postcode lottery. I'm part of a campaign group (METUP UK) which is fighting hard for better access to treatment for all, but it's not as simple as private gets more than NHS. I have access to private healthcare through work, but as they only cover targeted cancer treatments for three years, I'll be (gratefully) switching to the NHS to continue my treatment when I hit the three year mark in May.

I have the same diagnosis as DJ, stage 4 BC with Braf mutation. Also diagnosed young. I am a very different person to Deborah & I deal with my diagnosis differently. That’s the thing, you don’t stop being the same person when you are diagnosed with cancer. Deborah is being herself. And you know what, at least she is doing something worthwhile on Instagram. So what if she uses her profile to sell stuff? What about all the other influencers who are endlessly promoting themselves & advertising everything under the sun? At least Deborah is raising the profile of bowel cancer at the same time.
Also I kind of think you don’t get to have an opinion or give advice to someone in that position. Until you’ve been there you don’t know how you would react. If you don’t like her don’t follow her but don’t come on a thread & bash someone that is seriously ill.

Also ... and I'll hold my hands up if I'm wing here ... but hasn't a lot of Debra's treatment (including some of the trials etc) been NHS?

I don't remember the details, but I'm sure her treatment has been a mix of both NHS and private