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Original poster

Anybody who was a full on raver in the 90s, what do you now tell your teenage children about drugs?

165 replies

FakeMoustacheAndGlasses · 08/01/2022 19:46

I haven't talked to my children about drugs yet and I don't want them to do drugs.
My (extensive) experience with drugs though was all positive, as was my husband's, they were the best years of our lives.
I haven't done any drugs since those days, I don't even drink now, I don't go clubbing anymore either though.

Anyone with similar history, what do you tell your kids?

OP posts:
MaryAndGerryLivingInDerry · 08/01/2022 23:48

@housemaus that’s really good! I’m wondering about the stuff like PP mentioned up thread about Leah Betts’ family not knowing about giving too much water- and I’m sure there is a shit tonne of other stuff that should be known. Are kids taught about stuff like that? I don’t think there is anything like that going on where I am.

downinaholeinchains · 08/01/2022 23:50

I deny ever taking anything and reiterate messages that they get from school, etc. Fully plan to 'fess up when they're in their 30's😉😉😉

GoGoGretaDoll · 08/01/2022 23:53

When I were a lass, the knowledge/harm reduction thing came from taking drugs in mostly gay clubs where there was a massive sense of community and always people looking out for you. As a woman, I was happy to give up full control of myself because I was in a safe environment. There was always someone next to you saying 'coming up aye, you awright doll?' And if anything did go wrong, I know that help would have been sought.

ponkydonkey · 08/01/2022 23:55

I was raving from the start... Biology in effingham was bloody amazing

I'm very open and honest with my teens, good and bad. I'd add leats want them to be able to talk to me or phone me if in trouble!

They have been very sensible and survived a few festivals very well... some of their more sheltered friends have been in a right state and ended up in hospital!

Sebastianthecoo · 09/01/2022 00:07

Leah Bett’s story has never left me and I see a couple of others have mentioned her. I was wild as a teenager but she was the same age as me and when I saw her on the front page of the newspaper on a ventilator I never touched anything again. I hope her parents know they probably saved lives releasing that picture. I had a great time, and have had many more fantastic nights out without taking drugs. Our education was very much ‘just say no’. It’s not enough so I chat to my 14 year old about the supply chain, the victims, the effect a small drugs charge could have on future employment and travel. But mostly I just want them to call me anytime, anywhere and I’ll bring them home safe. My most dangerous encounters happened when I was drunk, not on drugs.

housemaus · 09/01/2022 00:08

[quote MaryAndGerryLivingInDerry]@housemaus that’s really good! I’m wondering about the stuff like PP mentioned up thread about Leah Betts’ family not knowing about giving too much water- and I’m sure there is a shit tonne of other stuff that should be known. Are kids taught about stuff like that? I don’t think there is anything like that going on where I am.[/quote]
I just had a google and found these resources for PSHE teachers. It's mostly about the dangers and reducing peer pressure etc, which is good, but there does seem to be a lesson plan that explores whether certain things (being with friends/safe people, drinking water, mixing drugs) increases or decreases risk.

So that's good, but probably not enough.

I imagine there'd be uproar from parents if teachers included in PSHE lessons: "if you really must do pills, do half and wait to see how you feel - don't drop another because you don't feel anything after 5 minutes" - despite that kind of honest advice being the most useful harm reduction I could think of.

massiveblob · 09/01/2022 00:10

My DC aren't quite there yet.
But we drank gallons of beer. Now it's vodka. The drugs we took were milder.
That's what scares me.
My kids are like me so I'd be stupid to think they won't do it

LondonWolf · 09/01/2022 00:10

I tell them that every single person I knew who took drugs regretted the time and money they spent doing it, t no person ever said “I’m really glad I took so many drugs when I was younger!” I tell them that it rarely ended well and it was a couple of hours fun followed by feeling like utter crap for days after. All this is true. They seem horrified by my description tbh.

OhWhyNot · 09/01/2022 00:10

Shall pretend to be anti but encourage then to be careful more if they do try abs there is always a danger because there is

I’m not sharing my experiences I parent ds I don’t need to be his best friend too

massiveblob · 09/01/2022 00:24

I have many mates with DC age 14-17. Most do festivals etc. They are pretty streetwise. But discussing safe use of alcohol and drugs is better than pretending

Forgothowmuchlhatehomeschoolin · 09/01/2022 00:27

@elelel

I think I live in another world. I find drugs abhorrent and the idea of a parent telling their own child how to 'safely' do drugs is alien to me.

I never took drugs in the 90s and I would be horrified if my DC took them now.

Me too. Didn't realise there was such a thing as a safe way to take them. I have so much to learn.
Changechangychange · 09/01/2022 00:42

@elelel

Leah betts sadly died because she drank too much water as teenagers weren't taught harm reduction in those days.

Hear this so much but when you are off your face and thirsty you will not think 'oh mum said not to drink too much water' - Leah Bette died tragically because of drugs.

We literally used to monitor each other’s water intake and tell each other to ease back/have some gum instead. Stop each other refilling water bottles too often. So yes, harm reduction measures like those do work even when you are fucked.
Changechangychange · 09/01/2022 00:47

@Forgothowmuchlhatehomeschoolin There are certainly safer and less safe ways of taking drugs. Just as there are safer and less safe ways of drinking - if you want to get drunk, far safer to do it in your own home with somebody you trust around to keep an eye on you, than getting drunk at a pub, and walking home on your own by the side of the canal where you could fall in or be assaulted. Obviously not getting shitfaced would be the ideal, but these are teenagers we are talking about.

elelel · 09/01/2022 00:49

We literally used to monitor each other’s water intake and tell each other to ease back/have some gum instead. Stop each other refilling water bottles too often. So yes, harm reduction measures like those do work even when you are fucked.

Yeah that's great; but it doesn't change what happened to Leah and it isn't a fail safe for the future.

MyGreenTutu · 09/01/2022 00:51

[quote elelel]@MyGreenTutu

I would love to know the real truth from your kids!

Not sure what you mean here, but if you are insinuating what I think you are I can assure you I know my children better then anyone else, including you. Please don't judge everyone on your own standards. We are most definitely not the same. [/quote]
I'm not judging anyone. I just know how widespread drug use is amongst young people - I work in a school and I have teenagers of my own. It's a rare teenager who has never had a brush with illegal drugs, at university if not at school. Maybe yours haven't, but I'll bet they've been around people who have, and they probably know more than you think they do.

elelel · 09/01/2022 00:57

I'm not judging anyone. I just know how widespread drug use is amongst young people - I work in a school and I have teenagers of my own. It's a rare teenager who has never had a brush with illegal drugs, at university if not at school. Maybe yours haven't, but I'll bet they've been around people who have, and they probably know more than you think they do.

You are making a judgement right there about my children and my relationship with them. How about you step back a bit and maybe try to understand that working in a school really doesn't make you an expert on someone else's children.

elelel · 09/01/2022 01:01

Actually it really bothers me when people come along and tell other parents they know better and we don't know our children. It's a nasty thing to do to someone. You are not more knowledgeable about my life because you work in a school. It happens all the time on threads about teenagers. People lack the ability to understand that not every teen is a lying, thriving, drug taking drunk out having sex every night.

tolerable · 09/01/2022 01:03

i was. again-absolute best times .
luck-not judgement.
iv lost so many people i loved,cos they got out of hand,took it too far, i dont think you can promote em,or condone them.and be responsible parent.i done loads of shiz i wouldnt be ok with my kids being dumb nuf to do

GoGoGretaDoll · 09/01/2022 01:10

Leah Betts always gets brought up on these threads, I suppose we all share an age demographic. But for every person who said 'oh I'll never touch a drug cos Leah Betts' there was a club full of people going 'can you sort me out for tonight'. Her death really wasn't some watershed moment in drug use in Britain and I say that with all respect for what was obviously a tragic and senseless passing of a very young woman.

GADDay · 09/01/2022 01:24

[quote elelel]@MyGreenTutu

I would love to know the real truth from your kids!

Not sure what you mean here, but if you are insinuating what I think you are I can assure you I know my children better then anyone else, including you. Please don't judge everyone on your own standards. We are most definitely not the same. [/quote]
It would be foolish to say never.

Nobody is judging you - just saying that teens have their own minds, be mindful you don't eat your own words (you are coming across as very sanctimonious).

elelel · 09/01/2022 01:29

It would be foolish to say never.

Nobody is judging you - just saying that teens have their own minds, be mindful you don't eat your own words (you are coming across as very sanctimonious).

I had to Google that to know what you are trying to say. I have already said I'm not superior, but I defend my knowledge of my family to the very end.

However, the mere fact that this won't be dropped irrespective of what I say is interesting.

GADDay · 09/01/2022 01:34

@elelel

Totally off topic - which bit did you not understand?

Cherrytart23 · 09/01/2022 01:36

I was walking past the local smackhead last week begging for change told my ds13 if you do drugs that's how you end up haha.

elelel · 09/01/2022 01:37

[quote GADDay]@elelel

Totally off topic - which bit did you not understand?[/quote]

Sanctimonious.

Summerfun54321 · 09/01/2022 01:44

The problem with doing illegal drugs is that you expose yourself to a huge complicated network of risks by taking them. I did lots like you OP and was fine. Friends of mine not so much. One died of an overdose after becoming and addict and alienating his friends and family. One ditched education and prospects to become a dealer. Others permanently damaged their bodies physically. I would discourage my kids from taking any drugs because if they struggled to know when to draw the line, the consequences can be horrendous.

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