Anybody who was a full on raver in the 90s, what do you now tell your teenage children about drugs?

FakeMoustacheAndGlasses · 2022-01-08T19:46:56+00:00

I haven't talked to my children about drugs yet and I don't want them to do drugs. My (extensive) experience with drugs though was all positive, as was my husband's, they were the best years of our lives. I haven't done any drugs since those days, I don't even drink now, I don't go clubbing anymore either though. Anyone with similar history, what do you tell your kids?

MaryAndGerryLivingInDerry · 08/01/2022 19:49

I never did any drugs so I don’t get them, what is it that you don’t want your children to experience when you enjoyed it so much?

Stillcrikey · 08/01/2022 19:52

This is what I told my young person.

Be careful with drugs. If you choose to take them, only do it with people you trust completely. At best you’ll have a good time. Mostly you’ll turn into a dick (hopefully temporarily). At worst your mental health will be damaged irreparably. Plus, think about the supply chain and how the ‘market’ supports slavery etc.

I too was lucky and mostly had a lot of fun. But looking back it really was only luck. I spent way too many nights taking risks (of all kinds) but had good luck. Others, not so much.

LookdeepintotheParka · 08/01/2022 19:57

I just talk to them about it openly and honestly. It was great while it lasted but there were serious risks along the way.

I still love dance music and go clubbing but don't do drugs of any description any more. Hopefully they can see it's still enjoyable to me without any need for recreational drugs!

Cocoabutterformula · 08/01/2022 19:59

I pretend to be anti but have open discussions about them. Haven't admitted to taking

IDidntFloatUpTheLaganInABubble · 08/01/2022 19:59

I was a raver, every weekend from 92 to 95.

I haven't sat either of my DC down and spoken to them directly about drugs. There have been general chats in the house of course when it has arisen on TV.

I had the best years of my life but I was really lucky. We were reckless and carefree and it was wonderful. I have not done any drugs for the best part of 20 years and very rarely drink.

I would not want them to do anything I did.

user1471453601 · 08/01/2022 20:02

Not a 90s raver, but I was 19 in 1979, so I'll leave it to your imagination what drugs were rife in those days.

When DD went to university, I just told her to be very careful where she got her drugs from. I wasn't naive enough to believe that in the 80s she wouldn't do drugs. We talked about contamination and how you never knew what exactly you were taking.

I know, because she told me, she took E and maryjane. No problems.

These days, I do G&T, she does a tot of whisky. No problems.

My advice would be to be upfront and honest with your adult child. As my daughter once said to me "you cannot lecture me about drugs, when you're sat there with a G&T in your hand".

We all know that the legalise of drink, and the demonizing of other drugs is simply a financial decision by governments

Ylvamoon · 08/01/2022 20:04

I tried them but hated that fuzzy wired feeling. DH was similar.

I todld my DC to be careful around them. Be mindful who you are with and always make sure you know what type you are talking. If you feel uncomfortable nervous about taking them, don't do it, walk away! (Mum & Dad will always get you!)
I also watched a documentary of a girl who died from talking drugs recreationally with my older DC. I think it was a Panorama type program. This brought the danger message home far better than anything I could have said and opend up the conversation nicely.

Cocoabutterformula · 08/01/2022 20:05

I would not want them to do anything I did

Totally agree, we had the best time but not everyone does sadly.

MaryAndGerryLivingInDerry · 08/01/2022 20:07

@user1471453601

Not a 90s raver, but I was 19 in 1979, so I'll leave it to your imagination what drugs were rife in those days.

When DD went to university, I just told her to be very careful where she got her drugs from. I wasn't naive enough to believe that in the 80s she wouldn't do drugs. We talked about contamination and how you never knew what exactly you were taking.

I know, because she told me, she took E and maryjane. No problems.

These days, I do G&T, she does a tot of whisky. No problems.

My advice would be to be upfront and honest with your adult child. As my daughter once said to me "you cannot lecture me about drugs, when you're sat there with a G&T in your hand".

We all know that the legalise of drink, and the demonizing of other drugs is simply a financial decision by governments

How was your DD at university in the 80’s if you were 19 in 1979?

greatape · 08/01/2022 20:09

Not me but DH was a proper proper 90s raver back in the day as was SIL and BIL. I was more of a drinker and did some very very silly things as a result.

Mine are still pre teens so whilst we've discussed, not yet told them about DHs exploits but we have told them about the student booze when asked .

We don't pretend we didn't enjoy it because that wouldn't be true but we go in hard on negative consequences. DH especially focused on the internet/ social media risks which didn't exist in our day.

Whycantibetangy · 08/01/2022 20:13

I’ve always had open, honest and frank conversations with my teenagers about drugs. They know we were both mad ravers, have discussed illegal raves, warehouse parties, road trips, after parties in motorway services, pills, trips, mushrooms, weed, speed, poppers, brown cafes, the culture, the music, the fashion. I have told them the horror stories of people overdosing, told them about the time I was at a party and someone was injecting themselves in the kitchen, the time I had a really bad trip…

They know they can ask me all and any questions, there have been some difficult conversations and debates but there is absolutely no point trying to pretend drugs don’t exist.

As parents it is our job to educate and inform our children and prepare them for adult life in an adult world. Age appropriate discussions about all the ‘taboo’ subjects like sex, drugs rock n roll should be a normal and healthy part of family life.

Psuedoshoes · 08/01/2022 20:15

@Stillcrikey

This is what I told my young person.

Be careful with drugs. If you choose to take them, only do it with people you trust completely. At best you’ll have a good time. Mostly you’ll turn into a dick (hopefully temporarily). At worst your mental health will be damaged irreparably. Plus, think about the supply chain and how the ‘market’ supports slavery etc.

I too was lucky and mostly had a lot of fun. But looking back it really was only luck. I spent way too many nights taking risks (of all kinds) but had good luck. Others, not so much.

I agree with most your post and I had fun too back in the 90s. But poor mental health isn't the worst - it's death. My friend died aged 26 after taking recreational drugs - I haven't touched them since.

MrsColon · 08/01/2022 20:15

I didn't take drugs coz my family has a terrible history re: mental health, but many of my friends did. One died, another had some terrible experiences (rape, assault).

If my DS asks, I'll be clear about potential consequences, as well as pointing out the awful modern slavery and criminal gangs that the drugs trade supports.

elelel · 08/01/2022 20:18

I think I live in another world. I find drugs abhorrent and the idea of a parent telling their own child how to 'safely' do drugs is alien to me.

I never took drugs in the 90s and I would be horrified if my DC took them now.

Original poster

FakeMoustacheAndGlasses · 08/01/2022 20:18

I would not want them to do anything I did

Yes, agree.
But I had a great time, so did their dad and all our friends.
I don't want the to drink, smoke or take drugs or have casual sex.
I also worry about them falling foul of the law and the repercussions that can have.

OP posts:

MauveMavis · 08/01/2022 20:21

I was just wondering about this today - I had a very dull time and haven't ever done drugs but recently got back in touch with a school friend who used to do loads.

She has an 11 year old and I idly wondered how she is dealing with it!

My Dad did masses of drugs at University. He didn't talk to us about it at all really when we were teens but my Mum did and it was a bit of a salutary tale as he ended up getting chucked out of Uni as he was too distracted to participate in his course.

When we were older it was discussed - I think one one level he judged us for being boring but on the other was very pleased we had all worked hard and got degrees without too much drama.

Notbluepeter · 08/01/2022 20:23

I don't know what I'll say. I had the optimal experience all through uni in that I was friends with a dealer who was high up the distribution network and a really sound guy. I always felt 100% safe (as safe can be). It's not like I can say to a teen, 'now make sure you make friends with a drug dealer to be sure you're getting quality'

Dreamstate · 08/01/2022 20:25

I still rave at 39 haha I dont do drugs though. However I've been with people who do, seen them have bad trips, seen them so out of it they are like zombies and notninan good way.

Seen how the next day they aren't in a great mood and not really nice to be around whilst they are coming down.

That nowadays the people I know tell me you have to be super careful where you buy from, make sure its pure and not mixed up with too much crap.

All the people I know who do it and I asked lots of questions, they all at the start told me they just do it for raving only. But over time I've learned they do it in evenings and weekends they aren't raving....so an element of lying and hiding how much they do it isn't a good sign imo.

So maybe those realities should be told.

I get a natural high feom usic and have much better time completely sober and actually I find more people are doing that too...so maybe thats something they should consider that you can still have a great time without it.

And number one onl ly with people you trust who owns leave you alone where you might get taken advantage of

IDidntFloatUpTheLaganInABubble · 08/01/2022 20:25

@Whycantibetangy after parties in service stations was South Mimms in our case.

MrsOnions0 · 08/01/2022 20:26

Harm minimisation is always the best advice. My husband and I met through our love for Dance music and the parties/scene. We were luckily but sadly some of our friends or acquaintances weren’t. I now work for a charity that supports others with their substance use. My husband works in the dance music industry. There isn’t the appetite there once was for party drugs (socially) with younger people. There will always be those who are curious but in the whole drug taking treads have shifted massively.

MaryAndGerryLivingInDerry · 08/01/2022 20:28

I was just about to ask- do young people nowadays take as much interest in drugs as they did in the 90’s?

StrychnineInTheSandwiches · 08/01/2022 20:28

I don't want the to drink, smoke or take drugs or have casual sex

Well hopefully they'll smile and nod and say 'yes, mother' and enjoy a vice or two anyway.

Campfirewood · 08/01/2022 20:29

I intend to be as honest as possible, a friend has terrible mental health, heart trouble and needs a kidney transplant after drug abuses (always recreational, she said).
I’d also talk about the people trafficking/human rights side to the supply of drugs.
I’d also ask them if they’d accept a tuna sandwich that has been opened in a shop. So why accept drugs off someone you’ve never met in a club?

itwasntaparty · 08/01/2022 20:29

Open and honest if they ask questions. They also know not to try and pull the wool over my eyes about anything, I've done it all myself so I'll know!!

tumpymummy · 08/01/2022 20:30

I didn't take loads in the 90s but I did go to Ibiza and go clubbing. Picked DD17 up from a friend's house the other day and she smelt really strongly of perfume, when she doesn't normally. So I asked why? After a few obviously cover up answers I asked her if she had been smoking? So she admitted she had had some weed. I told her that I didn't mind her smoking it as a social thing with friends, but that I would be concerned if she started smoking on her own, and I didn't want her becoming a dope head. We live in a big city so I knew we would come across this at some stage.