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Original poster

Anybody who was a full on raver in the 90s, what do you now tell your teenage children about drugs?

165 replies

FakeMoustacheAndGlasses · 08/01/2022 19:46

I haven't talked to my children about drugs yet and I don't want them to do drugs.
My (extensive) experience with drugs though was all positive, as was my husband's, they were the best years of our lives.
I haven't done any drugs since those days, I don't even drink now, I don't go clubbing anymore either though.

Anyone with similar history, what do you tell your kids?

OP posts:
user1471453601 · 08/01/2022 20:32

@MaryAndGerryLivingInDerry, sorry, fat finger, meant 1990s. I was 19 when I had her

MaryAndGerryLivingInDerry · 08/01/2022 20:33

Ahhh!! Ok Grin

elelel · 08/01/2022 20:35

@tumpymummy

I didn't take loads in the 90s but I did go to Ibiza and go clubbing. Picked DD17 up from a friend's house the other day and she smelt really strongly of perfume, when she doesn't normally. So I asked why? After a few obviously cover up answers I asked her if she had been smoking? So she admitted she had had some weed. I told her that I didn't mind her smoking it as a social thing with friends, but that I would be concerned if she started smoking on her own, and I didn't want her becoming a dope head. We live in a big city so I knew we would come across this at some stage.

But do you actually, genuinely not care if your DD is smoking weed? Why not?

wowbutter · 08/01/2022 20:42

I was a drug user and clubber way after the early nineties (2003-2008) and I have little children, not big.
But I work with troubled teens, and I am very honest.
And I am age appropriately honest with mine.

Drugs now are very different to drugs then.
We didn't have camera phones (well we did but it cost far too much to ever send the blurry pixelated pics!) so there is no evidence.

There have been way more publicized deaths, drug running, gangs etc now.
And while I had an amazing time, a lot of it was an escape from pain.

Incognito22333 · 08/01/2022 20:47

I have talked to my kids about it because I had a lot of friends who did serious drugs. I still went to the raves but drank vodka and red bull. Obviously, as an adult I know think that is bad enough…
I spent the millennium raving in a party place (think Goa or Ibiza). During that night someone we had met died of a ketamine overdose and during that week, we met a 17 year old girl who was still tripping two weeks after taking “speed”.
So I tell my kids you can have fun, but you have to have boundaries, don’t ever let anyone cross your boundaries or lose control in any situation. Always have a sensible friend to save you in all situations who looks out for you. Often that was my role.
My friends who partied hard all went to uni and hold down successful jobs largely in the creative industries. They have told their kids to stay safe too. Pre pandemic they took them to festivals etc. I think some of them smoke weed at home and the kids know. I don’t agree with that but then I never agreed with the heavy drug use either though we are still good friends.
My kids know that if they are ever out and in trouble they can call me and I will pick them up anywhere, any time, no questions asked. I think that is very important.

Cocoabutterformula · 08/01/2022 20:56

elelel

I think I live in another world. I find drugs abhorrent and the idea of a parent telling their own child how to 'safely' do drugs is alien to me.

I never took drugs in the 90s and I would be horrified if my DC took them now.

You're burying your head in the sand then, they're out there everywhere.

SportsMother · 08/01/2022 20:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Onaloop · 08/01/2022 21:01

My DS is way too young to talk to him yet but I will eventually. I had a great time when I was young, took lots of drugs and partied. Its how I met most of my friends. I was always lucky that it didn't affect me negatively, I didn't suffer from mental health issues but I do know a couple of people who did. My friends who I took drugs with are all working in professional jobs now - lawyers, teachers etc.

I wouldn't necessarily want my DS to take them as I know drugs have changed and smart phones weren't around when I was taking drugs but I would talk to him about them honestly.

Most importantly I would always say - if you ever take drugs and feel unwell or unsure about what's going on, where you are, who you are with then don't be afraid to call us, we won't be angry and we'll come and get him. My parents were very strict and I just lied to them and got myself in more dangerous situations where I didn't feel I could talk to them.

SportsMother · 08/01/2022 21:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

elelel · 08/01/2022 21:01

@Cocoabutterformula

elelel

I think I live in another world. I find drugs abhorrent and the idea of a parent telling their own child how to 'safely' do drugs is alien to me.

I never took drugs in the 90s and I would be horrified if my DC took them now.

You're burying your head in the sand then, they're out there everywhere.

I'm not burying my head in the sams because I don't like drugs. Come on, that's ridiculous. As for my kids, they are not everywhere. Thanks.

Ginger1982 · 08/01/2022 21:05

@Cocoabutterformula

elelel

I think I live in another world. I find drugs abhorrent and the idea of a parent telling their own child how to 'safely' do drugs is alien to me.

I never took drugs in the 90s and I would be horrified if my DC took them now.

You're burying your head in the sand then, they're out there everywhere.

It's a choice to take them though, isn't it? Not a necessity.
NotebookVsDiaries · 08/01/2022 21:15

One of my friends mum gave us pills for the first time when we were about 14/15. So we would do it safely... I'm in shock now but then it was pretty normal.

My dc know I've done pills, coke, mushrooms, ect and know I went raving. They're so sensible (16 and 14) it's hilarious. They're also really open with me and tell me what their friends do and what they've been offered. When we had a serious conversation about vaping they listened to me, the same about weed.

Tbh if my dc go to uni and do a few pills or take mushrooms I'm not that fussed. I don't want them doing coke or ket, but pills or mushrooms I'm OK with. I'd tell them how to do it as safe as possible. I hope that if they were inclined to do drugs they would listen to my urgings to do happy sociable/spiritual drugs rather than depressive addictive drugs.

tentative3 · 08/01/2022 21:29

@user1471453601

Not a 90s raver, but I was 19 in 1979, so I'll leave it to your imagination what drugs were rife in those days.

When DD went to university, I just told her to be very careful where she got her drugs from. I wasn't naive enough to believe that in the 80s she wouldn't do drugs. We talked about contamination and how you never knew what exactly you were taking.

I know, because she told me, she took E and maryjane. No problems.

These days, I do G&T, she does a tot of whisky. No problems.

My advice would be to be upfront and honest with your adult child. As my daughter once said to me "you cannot lecture me about drugs, when you're sat there with a G&T in your hand".

We all know that the legalise of drink, and the demonizing of other drugs is simply a financial decision by governments

You can lecture about the supply chains involved in drugs which are not the same as for drink. That may well be caused by government decisions but that doesn't change the reality of what goes on for those involved.

"Drugs" are obviously not all the same but broadly speaking I recognise that other equally harmful substances are legal so my objection isn't based on some kind of puritanical streak (and I've dabbled myself in my teens), for me the discussion would be centred more around whether the human cost is a fair trade off for a bit of a buzz on a saturday night.

Spudbitch · 08/01/2022 21:38

Saying they were the best years of your life... If you think that is an awful thing to say then you obviously never experienced it. Of course being young and carefree are the best days of your lives if you were ever a raver/clubber it is 150% the best days of your lives the absolute joy euphoria and unity of those times should not be under estimated anyone who experienced it would agree same as swingin 60s or whatever doesn't mean you love your kids any less nor is it an insult to them Its just a different time.

IDidntFloatUpTheLaganInABubble · 08/01/2022 21:49

@Spudbitch

Saying they were the best years of your life... If you think that is an awful thing to say then you obviously never experienced it. Of course being young and carefree are the best days of your lives if you were ever a raver/clubber it is 150% the best days of your lives the absolute joy euphoria and unity of those times should not be under estimated anyone who experienced it would agree same as swingin 60s or whatever doesn't mean you love your kids any less nor is it an insult to them Its just a different time.
Exactly that.
elelel · 08/01/2022 21:51

@Spudbitch

Saying they were the best years of your life... If you think that is an awful thing to say then you obviously never experienced it. Of course being young and carefree are the best days of your lives if you were ever a raver/clubber it is 150% the best days of your lives the absolute joy euphoria and unity of those times should not be under estimated anyone who experienced it would agree same as swingin 60s or whatever doesn't mean you love your kids any less nor is it an insult to them Its just a different time.

People have different ideas about what's their own best time in their life.

Northernsoullover · 08/01/2022 21:54

I've never admitted anything and never will. I have told them that drugs can make you feel good, but it's Russian roulette.

SportsMother · 08/01/2022 22:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fangdrew · 08/01/2022 22:08

Leah Betts died when I was around 10 or 11. My mum terrified the living daylights out of me re drugs following that case - it left a lasting impression and I’ve never touched a thing. A gorgeous young boy from our primary school also died after taking one ecstasy tablet when he went to uni. I’ll certainly be telling my kids to stay well clear, as I did.

NotebookVsDiaries · 08/01/2022 22:18

Ecstasy is one of the safest drugs in the world.

I'd 100% prefer my dc to experiment with Ecstasy and mushrooms rather than cannabis, coke, or even cigarettes. If they ever spoke to me about wanting to try it I'd teach them how to use safer rather than preach abstinence. Leah betts sadly died because she drank too much water as teenagers weren't taught harm reduction in those days.

MaryAndGerryLivingInDerry · 08/01/2022 22:27

@NotebookVsDiaries are teens taught harm reduction today?

elelel · 08/01/2022 22:28

Leah betts sadly died because she drank too much water as teenagers weren't taught harm reduction in those days.

Hear this so much but when you are off your face and thirsty you will not think 'oh mum said not to drink too much water' - Leah Bette died tragically because of drugs.

elelel · 08/01/2022 22:28

Betts

GonnaBeYoniThisChristmas · 08/01/2022 22:31

Some incredibly naive statements on this thread.

I was friends with a dealer who was high up the distribution network and a really sound guy. Hmm Really - a “sound guy”? Part of a system of illegality, slavery and terrible social injustice. Is that still your view of him?

I tell my kids you can have fun, but you have to have boundaries, don’t ever let anyone cross your boundaries or lose control in any situation. What does this mean? There are no “boundaries” or “control” if you take illegal drugs.

Luredbyapomegranate · 08/01/2022 22:32

Not a lot. I do say that skunk now is an awful lot stronger than dope then, it’s no longer a soft drug. And if you Want to experiment look at what the different outcomes can be and make it as safe as you can.

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