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Original poster

Phrases you hate reading on mumsnet

816 replies

Ohmycron · 08/01/2022 12:38

I’ve been on mumsnet for about 18 years and you know what, if I read about people putting ducks in a row once more I might go mental.
What phrase do you hate.

OP posts:
lollipoprainbow · 11/01/2022 19:33

'Are you me?' Well obviously not !!

PurpleRainlnTheSky · 12/01/2022 12:33

@lollipoprainbow

'Are you me?' Well obviously not !!
ARGH! That annoys me too. I saw that written by about 5 or 6 posters on a thread yesterday. I think it was the one about how they have no desire to work anymore. 'Are you me?!' came up about half a dozen times. It makes me scream inwardly! Just say 'I feel the same.' FFS!

Also, may I offer 'Calm Down,' when someone is getting a bit passionate/ranty/annoyed. On what planet do they think someone is going to CALM DOWN, because someone has TOLD them to?! FFS!

And as IF they will calm down coz some random nobody on the fucking internet told them to!

ARGH!

(Don't fucking DARE tell me to CALM DOWN! Angry

Grin
lollipoprainbow · 12/01/2022 13:07

@PurpleRainlnTheSky ha ha also "^this"is annoying too !!

PurpleRainlnTheSky · 12/01/2022 18:07

[quote lollipoprainbow]@PurpleRainlnTheSky ha ha also "^this"is annoying too !! [/quote]
Grin Glad it's not just me!

sammylady37 · 12/01/2022 19:27

It really irritates me when posters deliberately keep a post gender-neutral and use ‘they’ throughout. However, it irritates me more when they use male or female pronouns with ‘they’ interchangeably throughout the post, as it makes it more difficult to follow. It ends up with sentences like “they said he didn’t want to” and I’m left wondering who said that about him etc.

GreenWheat · 12/01/2022 19:54

@sammylady37

It really irritates me when posters deliberately keep a post gender-neutral and use ‘they’ throughout. However, it irritates me more when they use male or female pronouns with ‘they’ interchangeably throughout the post, as it makes it more difficult to follow. It ends up with sentences like “they said he didn’t want to” and I’m left wondering who said that about him etc.
Oh yes, this! As if saying the gender of your child is somehow outing. Ditto when people put "relative" instead of the actual relationship. FGS "brother" etc is not outing!
mafted · 12/01/2022 19:58

Sigh,

"What does...look like?",

Meds,

Batshit

Blue4YOU · 12/01/2022 20:20

Take a deep breath/breathe..
Advice that is nonsensical and suggests the OP is hyperventilating, rather than posting about a situation on MN.
It’s akin to the hatred I have for “live, laugh, love” and other inane sayings that seem to have replaced “wine o’clock” on those oh so quirky kitchen plaques.

PurpleRainlnTheSky · 12/01/2022 20:29

@sammylady37

It really irritates me when posters deliberately keep a post gender-neutral and use ‘they’ throughout. However, it irritates me more when they use male or female pronouns with ‘they’ interchangeably throughout the post, as it makes it more difficult to follow. It ends up with sentences like “they said he didn’t want to” and I’m left wondering who said that about him etc.
I HATE HATE HATE that too. And when you say 'is your partner male or female?' they don't answer. When pushed/asked 10 or 15 times, they say 'it's not important' and 'I don't want to say if myself or my partner is male or female because it will influence the answers.'

Sometimes you HAVE to know, so you can GIVE a proper answer. Confused

PurpleRainlnTheSky · 12/01/2022 20:30

@Blue4YOU

Take a deep breath/breathe.. Advice that is nonsensical and suggests the OP is hyperventilating, rather than posting about a situation on MN. It’s akin to the hatred I have for “live, laugh, love” and other inane sayings that seem to have replaced “wine o’clock” on those oh so quirky kitchen plaques.
Or 'prosecco o clock!' ARGH! Angry
Skeumorph · 12/01/2022 20:38

@Blue4YOU

Take a deep breath/breathe.. Advice that is nonsensical and suggests the OP is hyperventilating, rather than posting about a situation on MN. It’s akin to the hatred I have for “live, laugh, love” and other inane sayings that seem to have replaced “wine o’clock” on those oh so quirky kitchen plaques.
Even worse is the big dramatic separated out posting, as if IT'S ALL GOING TO BE OK NOW THIS POSTER IS HERE GIVING INSTRUCTIONS

'Ok OP.

Breathe.

Take the chicken out of the bag/your husband out of the massage parlour/your DD out of the sexist talent show, and first do x...'

aAAARGH

Even doubly worse is when Dramatic Poster does this, but doesn't know the difference between 'breathe' and 'breath'.

'Ok OP.

Just breath for a second...'

Skeumorph · 12/01/2022 20:41

Also 'Nah' for no. Nails down a blackboard.

Designed to create the impression of some oh-so-cool couldn't give a shit poster sitting back and drawling their nonchalant, but clearly the last fucking word, answering post.

I actually scroll past posts which start with 'Nah' instead of No!

PurpleRainlnTheSky · 12/01/2022 20:49

@Skeumorph

Also 'Nah' for no. Nails down a blackboard.

Designed to create the impression of some oh-so-cool couldn't give a shit poster sitting back and drawling their nonchalant, but clearly the last fucking word, answering post.

I actually scroll past posts which start with 'Nah' instead of No!

Posts guaranteed to be ignored by me - and not read, are ones that start 'I live in a NAICE village.' Or 'my DM bought me some NAICE biscuits from a NAICE store.' Hmm

And as anyone for anyone who says 'this is how it should be, no?' Angry

The patronising 'no?' at the end of a sentence makes me wish there was a 'block poster' function.

KittytheHare · 12/01/2022 21:45

'Midwife here', 'solicitor here' or any other profession for that matter. Why not just say 'I'm a midwife'. It always sounds like they think they're the big expert coming to the rescue.

RussianSpy101 · 12/01/2022 22:39

@KittytheHare YES

TooMuchPaper · 13/01/2022 12:10

Meh.
Innit.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 13/01/2022 23:49

Also 'Nah' for no. Nails down a blackboard

Mine is "Yup/Yep"
If my DC answered me "Yup"/Yep" I'd flick their ears and tell them the correct response is "Yes"

Disclaimer : I'd have to stand on the 2nd stair to reach their ears now

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 13/01/2022 23:54

Midwife here', 'solicitor here

Or even "I'm not a lawyer" and procede to give some utter codswallop pseudo legal advice that is no help and confuses the OP.

And don;t forget the 30 minutes Free Legal Advice (that is like hens teeth unicorn rocking horse pooh )

Lunificent · 13/01/2022 23:57

Definitely the comma, no, question mark at the end of a sentence. So posh and patronising.
Starting you story with “So …” then proceeding to tell your story at length, paragraphless.
Judgeypants
Very, very posh people who use the terms ‘natch’ and suchlike assuming that people know what they’re talking about.

Squiff70 · 14/01/2022 00:59

Another vote for Ddog, Dcat, Dhamster and so-on. Dslug in the garden...

sammylady37 · 14/01/2022 08:08

Have you had an empathy bypass?

sweetbellyhigh · 14/01/2022 08:31

@sammylady37

Have you had an empathy bypass?
Yes the bypass comment, designed to wither and impress all at once, when it is just a butch thing to say.
cafedesreves · 16/01/2022 08:37

I saw this and thought it might offend many of you! Grin

Phrases you hate reading on mumsnet
Lookforwardtosummer · 18/01/2022 08:00

@cafedesreves omg yes! I also hate 'brew' for tea. Not sure if that's already been mentioned!

Sparklingbrook · 18/01/2022 08:03

Well you can type ‘brew’ in square brackets to get the Brew emoji on here. Grin