Phrases you hate reading on mumsnet

[Ohmycron]

I’ve been on mumsnet for about 18 years and you know what, if I read about people putting ducks in a row once more I might go mental.
What phrase do you hate.

"There - fixed that for you", placed after quoting somebody else's post, which they have altered to suit their own opinion or just to correct grammar, like people should be grateful to be shown the error of their ways. So smug.

But DDog is longer than dog. And looks like a written stutter.

You also have to defy autocorrect and spell it out again

"I brought" instead of "I bought"

Bingo. Today. Other chiropodists exist

‘OP, you sound lovely’. How on earth do you know from one post whether someone is lovely?

@deathofastrawberry

"Google the fourth trimester" annoying and not really helpful.

And patronising ones like "are you quite young?"

Not to mention that you can't have a fourth trimester. The clue is in the 'tri'.

“Take in ironing” like the Victorian ages

When a poster writes a weird artificial sounding script of what the OP should say to their mother in law or whoever the dilemma is about, that sounds nothing like a real human sentence. Then follows it up with a smug. Sorted.

@TheWildRumpyPumpus

‘OP, you sound lovely’. How on earth do you know from one post whether someone is lovely?

Oh, add that to my earlier moan about sentimental guff like 'my darling' and 'my love'. Also half the time the person they're talking about doesn't sound remotely lovely.

Ah yes the take in some ironing

That will sort everything out maybe even pay for a Caribbean cruise

@BessieBlue

Not a phrase but posting a ultrasound image of a 12 week fetus and asking what the sex is.

You can tell though! There are whole scientific papers on it

@Lampyshady

“Take in ironing” like the Victorian ages

When a poster writes a weird artificial sounding script of what the OP should say to their mother in law or whoever the dilemma is about, that sounds nothing like a real human sentence. Then follows it up with a smug. Sorted.

This is so true!

Also the posters who reply to a relationship thread about cheating with 'guarantees that their own husband would never cheat/hasn't got it in him to cheat' or has cheated once but only because a woman threw herself at him.

i always wonder if these women are naive or in denial but also wonder how they think they are helping the OP who is currently in the situation.

Hello op
I am reading this thread and half way through wondered if I know you
Has your typing improved?

I don't think I've ever seen someone suggest taking in ironing. Never seen the famous spa day either.

Give your head a wobble.

I love these threads because between all of us, we manage to cover every single phrase ever used on Mumsnet 🤣🤣

Why do husbands always 'waltz' through the door after a night out?

"He waltzed in at 3am", makes me assume everyone's married to Len Goodman.

@Okbye

Not phrases as such but I hate all the ‘DH/DS/DD/DC/DP’ bollocks. I don’t understand why people don’t just type ‘husband/son/children/parents’ etc, it’s not like they’re massive long words!

The worst is when people type ‘ddog’ uuuurrrgh for fucks sake DOG not ‘ddog’ 🤬

The part that annoys me is that DF is used for father, fiance and friend. Not the first time I've read it as father until OP writes about how they were in bed together.

@WorraLiberty

I love these threads because between all of us, we manage to cover every single phrase ever used on Mumsnet 🤣🤣

Why do husbands always 'waltz' through the door after a night out?

"He waltzed in at 3am", makes me assume everyone's married to Len Goodman.

Seven!!!!!

@batmanladybird, I'm going to start advising MNetters rush downstairs and scream that in their DH's faces 🤣

'Sit him down for a chat', I don't know why I find this so annoying, maybe because all my most productive conversations happen on walks.

Totally guilty of unmumsnetty hugs though, I'm halfway between bracing advice and 'oh my love' as a sympathy offerer, it seemed like a good compromise.

@WorraLiberty

I love these threads because between all of us, we manage to cover every single phrase ever used on Mumsnet 🤣🤣

Why do husbands always 'waltz' through the door after a night out?

"He waltzed in at 3am", makes me assume everyone's married to Len Goodman.

It’s probably said by the same people who complain non-drivers expect to be ‘ferried about’. They never just get a lift; they’re always ‘ferried about’.

@NotebookVsDiaries

Bun fight came from when Camilla got buns thrown at her in Sainsburys.

Lol the term bun fight has been in use for many years and was not derived from a Camilla outing.

@Angrymum22

“Like comparing apples and oranges” They are both fruits, sweet, juicy, acidic and grow on trees. The difference is the very superficial colour.

I wouldn't classify that as Mumsnetty phrase, it's just a standard cliché.

I hate the competitive sneeriness, the long lines of attempts to be withering

HTH
Sure you do, love
Head tilt
Tinkly laugh
Are you on glue

It's very bitchy, thoroughly unoriginal and deeply unattractive. Says a lot about the poster.

And the way some posters try to claim that they are part of a mythical "in crowd" by saying things like, "Namechanged for this but been here ages, penis beaker etc" 🤢

'The handmaidens have arrived' often on Style and Beauty for God's sake. And 'breezy'. Just act all breezy. Like a half-mad passive aggressive loon, yes that'll do it.

Picky tea
Chippy tea
Snuggly
Hot choc
Give your head a wobble
Spidey senses

Loads more!

And the free half hour with a solicitor