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Original poster

I weigh 25 stone and don't know what to do

184 replies

delilabell · 08/01/2022 10:50

I don't know how this has happened. We'll I do its cos in eating ridiculous amount of food.
I want to get back to size 22 /24 . I felt comfortable and confident. I now am size 28/30 and I'm disgusted in myself. I'm addicted to sugar I know I am so instart to think about cutting all sugar but them I think I don't want to because I love chocolate. But thats the addiction isn't it? I'm just looking in tje mirror at myself and I look hideous. I joined ww last week (previously was a part of it and lost 5 stone ) but its changed so I wimped out amd cancelled it. I did slimming World once and lost a stone but I got so obsessive that I had to stop for my mental health.
My mental health isn't great. I obsess about things. So if I am losing weight I obsess every hour about how much ill have lost. Dividing the amount I want to lose over the weeks I want to over and over in my head. And then I become so obsessed I have to stop.
I just don't know what to do about it. Any help would be most appreciated please.

OP posts:
FindingMeno · 08/01/2022 10:54

Just take every day at a time.
Don't tell yourself what you can and can't do.
Just assess the reasons for when you want to eat something and what it is. Ask yourself if you can delay it. If grapes would help that sweet craving instead of a packet of biscuits.
Don't be disgusted in yourself. Please.

WeeFae · 08/01/2022 10:56

Read "Why we eat (too much)" as a starting point

here

HermioneWeasley · 08/01/2022 10:57

Try the Beck diet solution - it’s a book and it’s about the psychology of eating and dieting.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Weight management
MajesticElephant · 08/01/2022 10:57

I would think about speaking to your GP - there are NHS channels to help support you, especially if you have struggled in the past to loose weight. I imagine they will want to do bloods too and check if you have any underlying issues like thyroid or diabetes x

SavoyCabbage · 08/01/2022 10:58

I think i would start small. Walking every day, just a bit further every day. And not buying the foods that you know are your nemesis. Or buying less of them, I wouldn't say no chocolate!

Xmasgetaway · 08/01/2022 10:58

If you are obsessing, then stopping, you need to keep yourself distracted.

Go out, clean the kitchen, read a book, play a video game………

Otherwise you will just eat yourself into a very early grave.
Don’t want to be harsh, just truthful.
Only you can help yourself.

Original poster
delilabell · 08/01/2022 11:00

I've even thought about asking of theirs any surgery I could have but in my mind I'm thinking....but I really love food and that would be really sad I couldn't eat it. That is my level of obsession. Eating food is linked to happy times with family and friends so much that I can't think honestly past it.
I will look at both of those books thank you

OP posts:
FlipFlops4Me · 08/01/2022 11:00

I lost 7st with Nutracheck. It's online, British and has a huge database of British food values. Also has a helpful forum. You get a week free to see if you like it and then it's pay only. But you can pay just for phone access or pay more for phone & web access.

Actually I've just rejoined because since DH's stroke I've been comfort eating in the evenings and I have a definite 3st to lose. I keep putting off the starting day - need to find my inner slim woman and start channelling her attitudes.

Original poster
delilabell · 08/01/2022 11:01

I know it is pointing to me dying young. I get that. I want my children to have a fit healthy Mom.

OP posts:
Viviennemary · 08/01/2022 11:01

Yes a day at a time. Try to get some control over your eating patterns. I've been trying not to eat after my evening meal. Done that every day since new year except one. And don't think I've lapsed so no point. Next day try again.

waterlego · 08/01/2022 11:02

I’m sorry to read you feel so helpless and so down on yourself.

I think it’s helpful to accept that weight loss can take a long time (and that this is usually for the best as it will be more likely to be a permanent change). Trying to cut out all sugar immediately might be unrealistic for you (it would be for me) so maybe it’s about gradually reducing the amount of treats you are eating.

It sounds as though you have the tendency to obsess. I do too and for that reason I don’t weigh myself and nor do I count calories because it just becomes an unhealthy obsession for me. To be fair, I am not in the same situation as you weight wise, and I am not actively looking to lose weight, but every now and again I overdo things and start to look and feel a little chubbier, at which point I cut down on treats and focus on making some really lovely wholesome meals with lots of veg and pulses in.

What about physical activity? Do you get your heart rate up a few times a week? Walking might be enough to do that at the moment. (If not, fast walking/walking uphill should do it).

I hope you find a way to make the changes you want to make.

LadyCampanulaTottington · 08/01/2022 11:02

My friend and I join Protein Priority Diet back in August. I had about 30lbs to lose and she needs to lose 14 stone. I joined so that I could lose the extra weight but be there for her too. She's lost a whopping 7 stone since then and looks amazing. It is possible if you find the right community to help.

Original poster
delilabell · 08/01/2022 11:03

I also am now too scared to join any fitness groups because I am so fat. I can't do yoga as my fat gets in the way of moves. I will be looked at as the fattest person in the group many that makes me so sad

OP posts:
Westfacing · 08/01/2022 11:07

I'm sorry you're feeling so bad about yourself. I would really recommend you visit your GP - I think you need help to address your problems.

Some things are too big to tackle alone. Good luck.

bonfireheart · 08/01/2022 11:08

If your BMI is over a certain amount your doctor can get you free membership of Weight Watchers for 16 weeks, alternatively they have lots of new years offers that you can pay for yourself. They have lots of online live exercise classes you can do with no equipment in your own home with camera off, the instructors are great. They also have prerecorded exercise workouts you can do in your own time. There's also a whole help of wellbeing content on there to help you mentally. They do lots of live workshops and chat forums. I've been using it a few weeks and already eating better, exercising more and sleeping well. It's a really supportive community.

FlipFlops4Me · 08/01/2022 11:09

@delilabell

I also am now too scared to join any fitness groups because I am so fat. I can't do yoga as my fat gets in the way of moves. I will be looked at as the fattest person in the group many that makes me so sad
I have pilates DVD's and joined a pilates website where there are loads of lessons to access (carefully graded). I have a lot of fun all on my own even though I only do the floor exercises.

There are loads of exercise Youtubes - look a few up and see what grabs you. No-one can see you, no-one even needs to know you're doing them if you don't want them to. (Unlike the day my 5 year old told my neighbour "Mummy is doing her fat exercises" - much stifled laughter from neighbour).

OopsadayZ · 08/01/2022 11:10

Even if you are the most overweight in the fitness class, I think most people in the class would be beyond impressed that you have the balls to do it and think "bloody good for you!"

Maybe enjoy today with some yummy food, then start tomorrow.

I have no self control - if I have one chocolate, then I want the whole box. If I have one crisp I want the whole (sharing) bag. So For me, I have to just go cold Turkey and cut it all out and have fruit or sugar free sweets to curb my cravings (for some people this makes things worse). See what works best for you.

Good luck! You can do this!

Mischance · 08/01/2022 11:13

It is so hard when you reach a certain weight and feel like throwing in the towel as the task just seems so huge.

I do think you need to talk to your GP as a first step.

One of the dangers of diets is that they make you completely obsessed with food and thinking about it every minute of every day.

Could I suggest that you start small: eat all the things that you do now, only in slightly smaller quantities. Give a bit of time, and then reduce your intake by another tiny bit. And so on. This stops you feeling "Oh heck, I can't have any of the foods I like!"

Don't weigh yourself - you will know whether your weight is up or down by the way your clothes fit.

Lots of good luck. Remember this: you still matter and you are an important human being - your size is just one part of who you are.

Maximuss · 08/01/2022 11:15

Try reading the fast 800 by Michael Mosley as a starting point, maybe watching a couple of his documentary’s too, very motivating and interesting

TheVolturi · 08/01/2022 11:15

Its so hard isn't it! I would start small and change two things to start with. For instance try swapping sugar for sweetener or low calorie versions of things. And try to work in some sort of daily exercise, even just a 20 minutes walk a day. It WILL make a difference. Drastic diets rarely work because once the weight is off its hard to maintain and too easy to go back to eating as you were.
If you just make small changes to your diet and lifestyle it will be easier to keep up with.

Einszwei · 08/01/2022 11:18

Have you had any therapy or professional counselling? You need to address the underlying issues in order to lose the weight and maintain a healthy lifestyle going forward.

Bordois · 08/01/2022 11:21

Its very overwhelming when you have a lot of weight to lose, but take it a stone at a time and it might not seem so bad.

Start slowly and once you see results that will give you more confidence to continue.

As mentioned above, im another who can't just have a bit of chocolate or a small bag of crisps - once I start I have to have them all so for me, I have to cut them all out. Wasnt fun at first, but after a couple of weeks I adapted.

Newrunner29 · 08/01/2022 11:21

If you binge eat then dieiting is the worst thing to do as it encourages it, u said obses over things, i do this and have realised i have ADHD with lots of other things i do, obviously not suggesting ur adhd but there is a link with eating disorders and adhd, and binge eating is a eating disorder, im looking into intuitive eating, which teaches us to have a healthy relationship with food. But it does mean we have to let go of diet culture which isnt easy to do. Good luck. Exercise is better to be viewed as a goo thing for u and not just a thing to looe weight, walking is a good start even for only 15 minutes at time and then just get bit more. I am also struggling with it im size 20/22 so i can relate

Elodeastar · 08/01/2022 11:23

I see lots of good advice being offered, so no advice post from me. I just wanted to say well done for posting, and good luck! Please share the victories with us, no matter how small they seem. Flowers

HPandTheNeverEndingBedtime · 08/01/2022 11:27

Start really slowly, if you aren't confident enough to exercise outside do it inside.

You could start by going on youtube and looking at virtual tours of cities, they are filmed by someone jogging around the city, start by marching in place, then when you can do that all the way through, jog in place etc.

Jillian Michael's app is good, has all of her dvds on it at all skill levels, lots of healthy recipes to try if you love cooking and food too.