I weigh 25 stone and don't know what to do

[delilabell]

I don't know how this has happened. We'll I do its cos in eating ridiculous amount of food.
I want to get back to size 22 /24 . I felt comfortable and confident. I now am size 28/30 and I'm disgusted in myself. I'm addicted to sugar I know I am so instart to think about cutting all sugar but them I think I don't want to because I love chocolate. But thats the addiction isn't it? I'm just looking in tje mirror at myself and I look hideous. I joined ww last week (previously was a part of it and lost 5 stone ) but its changed so I wimped out amd cancelled it. I did slimming World once and lost a stone but I got so obsessive that I had to stop for my mental health.
My mental health isn't great. I obsess about things. So if I am losing weight I obsess every hour about how much ill have lost. Dividing the amount I want to lose over the weeks I want to over and over in my head. And then I become so obsessed I have to stop.
I just don't know what to do about it. Any help would be most appreciated please.

Well done OP, great start. I am trying to take charge of my health too and just wanted to mention the low carb bootcamp that runs on Mumsnet. It's a brilliant way to lose weight on a very supportive thread with a bunch of brilliant and really well informed posters. I started low carbing last year with a lot to lose and I still have a lot to lose but have started and feel a lot better about myself now than I did then, as well as the food, it has taught me to be a bit kinder to myself. There's not even any pressure to weigh yourself if you don't want to, come and take a look. I will see if I can link to the current thread as there's a bootcamp starting next week

General Low Carb Bootcamp Chat http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/lowcarbb_bootcamp/4439370-General-Low-Carb-Bootcamp-Chat

Drink more water, curbs hunger and feeling hungry can also actually be dehydration. Count calories instead of slimming world, still allows room for some treats. Try intermittent fasting?

Maybe do more exercise to help, walking workouts might be a good place to start. Look Up growwithjo on YouTube, she also has a Facebook community and has helped a lot of people lose a lot of weight!

Have you thought of having some counselling? Because it's all well to choose a diet or join a slimming club or take up a sport, but from reading your posts it seems clear to me that you need to get your mind in shape before your body. I don't say that as a criticism - I have been in the same place as you and it was counselling that helped me. It's not the sugar you need to address, it's the reason you are using sugar as your addiction, for example.

@delilabell

I also am now too scared to join any fitness groups because I am so fat. I can't do yoga as my fat gets in the way of moves. I will be looked at as the fattest person in the group many that makes me so sad

Take a look at Yoga with Adriene on YouTube. She has something for all ranges of mobility. Yoga is not competetive, or at least it shouldn’t be, you just do as much as you can and a little more each day and everybody’s range is different. It’s great for mental health and well being too.

If I saw you at a yoga class I would think - go you! - and find you inspiring.

Sorry completely random but at the age of 50 plus we realised I have ADD - also known as inattentive ADHD. Its very undiagnosed in women but I have realised my issue with food throughout my life makes sense. I am impulsive with food. You mention the word 'obsession' twice in your post - do you have OCD? This also goes hand in hand with ADD, I have both. I could be barking up the wrong tree but I thought it worth mentioning as those of us with ADD have lower will power I think during the our shorter attention spans. Maybe worth googling to see if these apply to you. Good luck with the weight lose. And I just wanted to agree with other posters - if I saw someone your size excerising I would be cheering them on internally and hugely admiring their drive. If anyone thinks differently they are a plonker and not someone you should want in your life anyway. So you do you. Its your life to live not their's. Good luck.

@ittakes2

Sorry completely random but at the age of 50 plus we realised I have ADD - also known as inattentive ADHD. Its very undiagnosed in women but I have realised my issue with food throughout my life makes sense. I am impulsive with food. You mention the word 'obsession' twice in your post - do you have OCD? This also goes hand in hand with ADD, I have both. I could be barking up the wrong tree but I thought it worth mentioning as those of us with ADD have lower will power I think during the our shorter attention spans. Maybe worth googling to see if these apply to you. Good luck with the weight lose. And I just wanted to agree with other posters - if I saw someone your size excerising I would be cheering them on internally and hugely admiring their drive. If anyone thinks differently they are a plonker and not someone you should want in your life anyway. So you do you. Its your life to live not their's. Good luck.

Ive also realised at age 39 ive got attentive adhd , and going to start a course on eating with adhd , as its common having disordered eating and adhd

I've lost 65lbs in 5 months with a gastric sleeve in Turkey.

Changed my life. 15 years of yoyo dieting and food issues wiped out in hours

Hard work still. But worked for me

I am also going to stay avoid dieting or cutting things out. Dieting and restriction is known to trigger binges and obsession over food. Instead you can:

• try to introduce some exercise daily. Even if just a 20 min walk to start with

• try to reduce portions. I have started to serve myself a half portion, leave it 20 mins and then if I'm still hungry I go back for more. I often find I'm satisfied.

• try to eat mindfully. So not in front of a screen, and chew each mouthful for longer to give the brain time to register when you are full

• drink plenty of water

• when you get the urge to binge. Try to stop yourself and think am I hungry or is something else going on? Have I been triggered by something? Is this an emotional reaction? I find a journal a good way to do this. But also, don't beat yourself up if you do still end up binging.

• try to swap for healthier alternatives, ie sweetener instead of sugar, wholemeal bread / pasta, healthier cooking oils. But again, don't restroct yourself if there is something you really feel you want.

This time last year I was also 25 stone and through my gp got a diagnosis for binge eating disorder and have been seeing a dietician who has provided me with all this guidance. My focus has shifted from "I want to loose weight" to "I want to be healthy and in control of my binging". As a result I am seeing the weight come off.

Feel free to PM if you want to talk to someone who has been there xx

@ittakes2 I do have ocd. My counsellor initially thought it was just perinatal ocd but realised I'd had it a lot longer.
I've had several lots of cbt, the latest one was for self esteem but I think I do need to look at how I view food with someone else.
Everyone is giving me so much to think about.
I don't have breakfast never ever l. I don't see why ots beneficial. Any info would really help.
Today I have had my lunch but no snacking which is a big difference. Today is day 1.

It's very difficult to change a mindset, op but you definitely can. I struggle with my weight too but for a few months now I've been swapping food when upset / to use as a fun thing out with family with activities instead. If I feel sad, I force myself to go for a walk, or I write my book. If I think about a day trip out, I associate that with a pizza hut or McDonald's, but instead I now cook a really tasty meal at home like fajitas with fresh chicken, lots of vegetables and easy on the cheese / sour cream. Still tastes great and it's much better than a meal out at pizza hut. It's changing little things that can end up making a big difference. That's not to say the changes are easy though and don't let yourself beat you down if you go off track, just get straight back on track.

I think obsessing a bit at the beginning of following a new dieting/healthy eating plan is totally normal.

I need to lose 4 stone and have just started noom. This week I've struggled to sleep due to hunger until last night when the nighttime hunger pangs and alertness had diminished. Kind of hard not to obsess when it is keeping me awake. Also it requires me to input weight daily and what I eat, so it does need to be front of my mind until these things just become habit.

Most diet plans require exercise and if obsessing is a problem, just get out walking with a podcast about something totally non weight/diet/health/fitness related on your headphones and let this block out an repetitive thoughts.

I'd recommend looking at noom, there is a 2 week free trial and it focuses on CBT to change habits and self destructive patterns. I've only been using it for a week, but so far it seems good.

[quote delilabell]@ittakes2 I do have ocd. My counsellor initially thought it was just perinatal ocd but realised I'd had it a lot longer.
I've had several lots of cbt, the latest one was for self esteem but I think I do need to look at how I view food with someone else.
Everyone is giving me so much to think about.
I don't have breakfast never ever l. I don't see why ots beneficial. Any info would really help.
Today I have had my lunch but no snacking which is a big difference. Today is day 1.[/quote]
A filling breakfast can set you up for the day.

Porridge can be lovely with some fruit, honey or jam or cinnamon or whatever added. Weetabix with fruit on top.

Natural/Greek yoghurt is nice and can have the things mentioned above added.

Omelette
Poached egg on brown toast

'Skinny' breakfast - beans, no fat bacon, mushrooms, brown toast, poached egg...

There are so many tasty ideas that will really fill you up until lunch and make you not need to snack.

If you don't start the day on the right foot with food you will be more prone to snacking or getting to the point you are starving and eat too much of something fast and crap to stop the hunger.

I agree with those on here saying diets are rubbish and don't work. The most important thing is to get rid of all processed food and replace it with whole foods. Get rid of anything that contains a seed oil (vegetable oils obtained from the seed: Canola oil, soybean oil, corn oil, cottonseed oil, sunflower oil, peanut oil, sesame oil, rice bran oil). Seed oils are found in huge quantities in processed food, and your most likely eating large amount of seed oils if you eat out a lot or eat anything processed (including condiments). Seed oils are responsible for chronic inflammation which is an underlying factor in some of the most common Western diseases, such as heart disease, cancer, diabetes, and arthritis.

We don't allow any products with seed oils in our home and have so far prevents our children from eating seed oils because of the long term damage seed oils cause.

Read the labels of your condiments and get rid of any that have seed oils + ingredients that you don't recognize as real food.

Limit yourself to eating the very best animal products that you can buy. I rarely eat red meat but when I do I make sure it is grass fed, my eggs are pasture raised and organic, dairy is the same (grass fed, pasture raised and organic). It is more expensive but I eat less of it. The quality of your food is very important for overall health (weight loss but also preventing disease).

You can still be obsessed with food, and love eating food but you need to eat the right kinds of food. I would start by amping up your knowledge about nutrition and then get some simple to follow but yummy cook books that focus on healthy real food.

Move as much as possible. Go on long walks (get a great podcast going or audio book so you have something enjoyable to listen to while walking) and just get outside and move.

I recommend this book: Deep Nutrition: Why Your Genes Need Traditional Food by Catherine Shanahan M.D

I don't eat as many animal products as she recommends by her nutritional advice is sound.

On the subject of breakfast - for years we were told about the importance of eating a healthy breakfast, filling up with something healthy and stopping mid morning snacking . However recently advice seems to be changing and there seems to be evidence that a longer overnight fast is actually beneficial for us. So if you don't already eat breakfast there is no benefit to forcing yourself to eating it thinking it will help you.

I spoke to dh tonight about how I need to speak to a Dr for extra help. He was genuinely shocked when I told him how much I weighed. He said he'd help any way he could

@delilabell

I also am now too scared to join any fitness groups because I am so fat. I can't do yoga as my fat gets in the way of moves. I will be looked at as the fattest person in the group many that makes me so sad

Have you had a look at Jessamyn Stanley's yoga sessions on You Tube? She is a medically obese yoga teacher who is very empowering to watch. My first ever yoga teacher was obese. She was brilliant at yoga and a great teacher. it is possible. You might have to modify lots of moves, but so what? The modifications already exist because lots of people need them for lots of reasons. Stanley's session will get you started in yoga.

5000 steps is fantastic. Really fantastic. Well done.

@delilabell

I spoke to dh tonight about how I need to speak to a Dr for extra help. He was genuinely shocked when I told him how much I weighed. He said he'd help any way he could

Well done you, accountability is a great first step. Having a support system will really help you, honestly.

@delilabell

I spoke to dh tonight about how I need to speak to a Dr for extra help. He was genuinely shocked when I told him how much I weighed. He said he'd help any way he could

That's a great step. Your dh sounds very supportive. I'm sure your GP will point you in the right direction of some suitable supports. @delilabell it's so brave to take those first steps, well done!

@Newrunner29

For everyone suggesting dieting, i have a question im genuinely intrested in, if diets genuinely worked , why is there many? And why do majority of people who are on them put the weight back on (i dont know exact figures ) there has been no diet ever thats been 100 % successful. Even one thats 90%. Surely there wouldnt need to be so many if at least 1 worked. And also for all the people have "failed" , is it the fault of the person and im talking millions of people. My mum spent most of her life on weight watchers yo yoing. Or could it be the fault of the diet? Restricting is known to cause binging.

That's an interesting question.

I think the very basics of all diets is a calorie deficit. But the way people eat and the foods they like can be very different.

Take slimming world - unrestricted potatoes, pasta, rice etc but you will only have enough syns for 1 or 2 chocolate bars per week.

On traditional WW plan (there are 3 different ones now) the foods you eat are much more varied. You are pointed towards healthy foods but if you wanted a bar of galaxy every day then that's fine, but you will be restrict points elsewhere for example don't have the cheese on your spag Bol or take a much smaller portion. (Which I think slimmer people tend to do naturally)

I lost 12 stone on WW. I have kept it off for almost a year now and I do not intend to ever go back to where I was! WW has taught me that different way of eating, it doesn't have to be restrictive and salad every day and never touch an iced bun again. I will have a treat but will make up for it by reducing another meal.

@delilabell

I spoke to dh tonight about how I need to speak to a Dr for extra help. He was genuinely shocked when I told him how much I weighed. He said he'd help any way he could

Would you maybe try doing WW online rather than going to the groups? I went from 25st to 13st in 2 years doing it.

Unfortunately I have been left with the legacy of T2 Diabetes even after the weight loss so definitely see your Dr and organise some blood tests for a really good health check.

Your DH sounds really supportive. It's much easier when you have someone in your corner.

Only other thing is try not to think about the total amount you want to lose or the length of time it will take. I also struggle with MH and found those thoughts really overwhelming and making me reach for the crisps cupboard!! Break it down into a monthly goal. I always set a goal of 7lbs per month so 1-2lbs per week. Sometimes I lost more and sometimes less but just tried to focus on that monthly 7lbs and it soon adds up!

OP if you have OCD have you considered taking the OCD drug like sertraline? It will help with your will power. Also, its very common to have OCD and inattentive ADHD so maybe ask your counsellor about that?
I used to think you could lose 'OCD' but its not something you lose - its how your brain works you just learn to manage it so please don't beat yourself up about your weight because its likely the OCD part of your brain is very strong willed and not working with you as much as you would like!

Hi OP

Lots of helpful advice on this thread x

I binge eat too, for me I find looking at the Hunger Scale helpful to work out if I'm actually hungry or just 'need' to eat. It helps me decide when I am full before I get to the point of being uncomfortable.

I have a picture of broccoli stuck to me work monitor. If I feel hungry I try to decide if I am hungry enough to eat broccoli, it helps to understand if its emotional need for food or hunger. Sometimes it's emotional and I still Eat/Binge but understanding is the first step to change

Morning @delilabell. I'm sorry you feel overwhelmed but there are lots of positives emerging from this thread & your replies. It's on the tricky days that you need to remind yourself of the positives.
It sounds like you have a lovely supportive family & you have been able to lose weight before. You are able to walk & that is absolutely enough, just to keep your body moving. 5000 steps is a great start and this can be your baseline that you can work up from. Your mindset seems to be in the right place in that you've got your "why" you need to change some things & lose weight. Try to not dwell on the negatives of what you can't do and feeling you will be the biggest in a class - these thoughts don't serve us very well, although totally normal.
Some things/people to follow who you might find helpful:
Nutracheck to calorie count & build a good relationship with food. Download the app & have the option to make healthy choices.
Jason Manford weightless on FB - calorie counting.
Trishas Transformation on Insta. You might find her inspirational and she is entertaining too. Started out a similar weight and she shares the ups and downs of long term weight loss.
The James Smith Academy & following JS on Instagram- advised to start with a goal of 1 kg to lose then 2kg etc. Break it down into v small manageable chunks so not to be disheartened.
Paul Mort for motivation & getting shiz done. He's not specific to weight loss but good at motivational stuff & has had MH issues. He has audio books & workshops you can attend online to sort out the mindset aspect.
We've all probably given you lots to think about but take time to work through the suggestions & see what resonates with you. Do let us know how you get on and good luck.