I weigh 25 stone and don't know what to do

[delilabell]

I don't know how this has happened. We'll I do its cos in eating ridiculous amount of food.
I want to get back to size 22 /24 . I felt comfortable and confident. I now am size 28/30 and I'm disgusted in myself. I'm addicted to sugar I know I am so instart to think about cutting all sugar but them I think I don't want to because I love chocolate. But thats the addiction isn't it? I'm just looking in tje mirror at myself and I look hideous. I joined ww last week (previously was a part of it and lost 5 stone ) but its changed so I wimped out amd cancelled it. I did slimming World once and lost a stone but I got so obsessive that I had to stop for my mental health.
My mental health isn't great. I obsess about things. So if I am losing weight I obsess every hour about how much ill have lost. Dividing the amount I want to lose over the weeks I want to over and over in my head. And then I become so obsessed I have to stop.
I just don't know what to do about it. Any help would be most appreciated please.

Some great advice on here! Someone else on here has already said it but my friend once you'd me 'you just need to eat less and move more' and I thought 'yeah, really helpful, great, why didn't I think of that' eyeroll! But its true.
I think it's great you're already counting your steps as this is an easy way to get yourself to move more everyday. I did get a little obsessed at the start and after a walk was doing laps of my living room to get up to the next hundred! I don't think this type of obsession in the early days is something to worry about as it will just become part of your day. Eating less is harder but at the start I didnt cut any food out, I just had less of the things I liked. Such as take away pizza, I had 3 slices instead of 4 and 2 biscuits with my afternoon cuppa instead of countless until I didn't want to have any biscuits and swapped to a banana for example. I think little changes will be your friend here and its great you gave support at home. Also when you start seeing a weight loss from these small changes you will be motivated to make other changes and to keep going.
Good luck.

Watching this convinced me that bariatric surgery was safe and effective. I'm having a gastric sleeve in a couple of weeks. Come and have a look at the bariatric surgery thread if you're interested. Best of luck, obesity is such a hard battle to fight.

@ittakes2

OP if you have OCD have you considered taking the OCD drug like sertraline? It will help with your will power. Also, its very common to have OCD and inattentive ADHD so maybe ask your counsellor about that? I used to think you could lose 'OCD' but its not something you lose - its how your brain works you just learn to manage it so please don't beat yourself up about your weight because its likely the OCD part of your brain is very strong willed and not working with you as much as you would like!

This post reminds me. A friend discovered late in life she had ADHD. She was prescribed medication for it and said one of the best things about it was she no longer felt hungry all the time. the compulsion to eat non stop just vanished and she finally realised what normal eaters meant about hunger and appetite. She lost a lot of weight with no effort at all. It might be worth looking into. A lot of people are prescribed anti-depressants for years when they would actually thrive better on ADHD medicine.

I am always the fattest person at any exercise class. I've given up caring. I am bendy and strong, despite being technically overweight. I'd prefer to be a lower weight but I'd far rather be my weight, my strength and my suppleness than slim but weak and stiff.

@Wishtherewasmore

I’ve struggled with my weight since I was a teenager. I’ve done WW and SW but to be honest, like the thread that was running yesterday in AIBU, they set you up to fail. These diet plans simply don’t address the psychological issues beyond overeating and/or poor food choices. Until we address these then losing and maintaining weight will always be a battle.

Can you see if your GP can refer you for specific counselling so that you can get support and work through any issues? Sometimes we can’t always do this on our own.

I personally find The Fast800 by Michael Mosley has been the best for me for weight loss, but then I have also worked through my inner demons to address why I got overweight in the first place. A basic checklist for this plan is to:
Eliminate bread, rice, pasta, refined carbs and processed foods
Up your protein intake to 50-60g daily
Full fat dairy products (no low fat!)
Introduce time-restricted eating (fasting)
Eat lots of veges (from a list) & limit fruit
Drink 2 L water
Find an exercise that you enjoy

Good luck, and do push the GP for support if you wish to.

I second the Fast 800. It's been incredible for me to beat my addiction to chocolate and all things sugary! There is also a FB group that's really supportive too. You can use the books or do it online. I have the online plan and I love it. Works out cheaper than what I would pay for the hifi bars, raffle and membership of slimming world every week.

Please don't be disgusted with yourself. The sugar industry is huge and they want you to get addicted so you buy more! It's one of the worst addictions I feel but it isn't widely addressed.

Good luck!

You've now done that first step, the realisation, the wanting to do it.

The secret is not being hungry.

Your body may have poor leptin regulation. Meaning you don't signal satiation when you are full.

All you do is help this by lowering your carbs and increasing protein and moderate fat.

You then break that sugar/ carbs in = high blood sugar = big insulin response = low blood sugar = feeling hungry again very quickly.

Filling up on low carbs and higher protein really works.

I lost 5 stone very easily, I'd say almost without effort. It's easy to eat this way and add a portion of carbs to the plates of children.

Try reading Michael Mosleys books on blood sugar. He's got the right idea. Even if you don't follow it exactly the emphasis is in the right direction.

I don't limit calories ever. I do limit carbs. And by doing this my bio feedback loop is healthy so I'm not hungry.

I fought to loose weight for 20 years until I discovered this. I did weight watchers and slimming world, shakes and cabbage diets!

And it's so easy now. I'm now almost to a healthy BMI after decades of despair. No diet plan or weigh-in in sight!

I don't eat bread, sugar, anything containing flour, all rice, potatoes, or fruit, although I do eat berries.

I had bariatric surgery and it was the best thing I ever did. Id have just got bigger ever year without it.

"I don't eat bread, sugar, anything containing flour, all rice, potatoes, or fruit, although I do eat berries."

You see, when a pp says it is easy not to eat any of the above, I find that kinda unbelievable. That is a heavily restricted diet. I fully accept that it is easy for some people to lose a lot of weight on a low carb diet but I don't believe it has a better success rate long term than any other woe? Or is there some proof that it does and that people who lose weight through cutting out carbs keep it off better than people who lose weight in other ways?

My brother has lost 20 - 30lb at least three times by going low carb. But comes a time when he wants a sandwich or a roast potato and it all slowly starts to unravel. I'm sure he doesn't think it's easy to stay with it.

I attended my first overeaters anonymous meeting yesterday (remotely). I feel your pain. I'm similar weight to you and food has controlled my life for as long as I can remember. Keep on keeping on xxxx

My advice would be to focus soley on getting help for the obsessive behaviour and with your attitude to food. I notice you said you've had CBT, so perhaps have more counselling/psychological help to address those issues. Otherwise you could try any of the many diets available and always struggle. Deal with the root cause of the weight gain first, then try and lose weight.

Thank you so lucky everyone for your support. I've done just under 5000 steps today. I'm going to use that as my benchmark.
I'm taking lots of pointers from you all. I'm currently munching on grapes as I'm desperate for a sugar hit. This is ridiculous but the sofa = food for me. It's all about snuggling with a nice book or a good programme or my family. All link to food.
The person who said about going to something rather than getting someone else to do it I'm doing
I'm also moving wjen I'd normally be standing in tje kitchen etc.
My knees hurt. One hurts so much walking upstairs. I don't want that anymore. I lean on tje work surfaces cos my back hurts standing still. I struggle to out my socks on. I find all of this so embarrassing.
Re my mental health. I'm on escitalopram and pregablin at the mo. I suffer massive anxiety and they help me but I think my anxiety/self esteem is defiently linked to my weight.
Thank you all again. I'm going to get up and hoover now and fold some clothes to keep mu hands busy.

IDK if this will help but its worth a try, I weaned myself off chocolate and the first step was to cut right back on eating it and switch to a mug of hot chocolate. Even the normal full fat one is lower in calories, if you normally eat a whole bar.

@A580Hojas

"I don't eat bread, sugar, anything containing flour, all rice, potatoes, or fruit, although I do eat berries."

You see, when a pp says it is easy not to eat any of the above, I find that kinda unbelievable. That is a heavily restricted diet. I fully accept that it is easy for some people to lose a lot of weight on a low carb diet but I don't believe it has a better success rate long term than any other woe? Or is there some proof that it does and that people who lose weight through cutting out carbs keep it off better than people who lose weight in other ways?

I think the difference is, this poster has discovered this works for her. So she's not restricting, she is trusting her body and what it processes healthily.

I very rarely eat bread because it triggers uncontrollable binge cravings in me. Just not worth it. Why eat a slice of toast in the morning if it triggers a raging, grumpy, light headed craving for sugar, slat, crisps, cereal, crackers, whatever is in the fridge about an hour later, when if I have greek yoghurt and berries I don;t think about food again until 1pm?

I don't believe in dieting and banning foods but I do believe in learning what your body wants and needs, and respecting it enough to act on the information.

The hot chocolate is a good idea thank you. My treat tonight is an egg custard. Normally I'd have that as a snack, then pudding, then a share size bag of chocolate

Here rooting for you (and facing similar struggles).

Someone on the fly lady cleaning thread posted a really insightful thing recently - noticing the difference between self-soothing and self-care. For me, when I cover all my feelings in a duvet of food, I'm self-soothing. I am quietening down those feelings by over-eating and it feels good at the time. But it's not self-care because long term it's damaging me. After a really hard day / emotional struggle, genuine self-care would be doing something to heal myself - resting, reading, walking, crafting, calling a friend to talk.

I just thought I'd share that because I never realised it until I read that post recently, and it's helping me.

Well done on the walk. That's a reasonable target.

A friend of mine had similar issues. She joined Overeaters Anonymous and has lost 5 stone so far.

@anotherneutralname

Here rooting for you (and facing similar struggles).

Someone on the fly lady cleaning thread posted a really insightful thing recently - noticing the difference between self-soothing and self-care. For me, when I cover all my feelings in a duvet of food, I'm self-soothing. I am quietening down those feelings by over-eating and it feels good at the time. But it's not self-care because long term it's damaging me. After a really hard day / emotional struggle, genuine self-care would be doing something to heal myself - resting, reading, walking, crafting, calling a friend to talk.

I just thought I'd share that because I never realised it until I read that post recently, and it's helping me.

That's a really useful distinction. Thank you for sharing it.

Well done on the 5k walk again OP. That's absolutely brilliant.

@anotherneutralname that's a really good point thank you. I need to listen to my body too and hear if it's full or hungry.

I'm finding Paul McKenna's 'I can make you thin' app really helpful. Rather than looking at calories etc it's more focused on changing your thinking around what you want to eat - visualisation techniques focused on the new slimmer you, techniques to stave cravings etc. I thought I'd give it a go - but VERY sceptically - and have been so pleasantly surprised. Sugar and snacking are my nemeses and it somehow makes me so much less interested in both.

@delilabell

The hot chocolate is a good idea thank you. My treat tonight is an egg custard. Normally I'd have that as a snack, then pudding, then a share size bag of chocolate

Fantastic, you're honestly doing so well already. You should be very proud of yourself, I know first hand how hard it can be to start off with. But, I do feel it gets easier as time goes on, so keep hanging in there!

Today started off horribly. Saw myself in the mirror in an iutfit I thought I looked good I and actually I look dreadful. Walked the children to school and back and tjen to an appt I had and look

I was eating a tonne of sugar daily and just couldn't seem to stop so 10 days ago decided to try and give it a miss. I got half way through day one and went into a bit of a melt down as wanted my sugar so quickly jumped up and made some keto type brownies and other cocoa type treats using a sugar alternative and by golly have they worked at helping me stay off sugar. The first day I had about 10 of them but so what, I didn't have sugar, second day I cut down by a few and now have a couple a day - everytime I would have had chocolate, sweets or something sugary I have one of the treats I made. I have since made some cream cheese bite thingys and some choc bites with banana and cocoa - both lovely, VERY easy to make and really help with the sugar cravings. I have lost 5lbs in my first week just by cutting out sweet things and bread/rice/potatoes but replacing all my treats with alternatives.

Try to stick to 1200 cals a day.

You can eat HUGE salads for lunch : lettuce, cucumber, tomatoes, red onion, spring onion, a big pile of chicken, a boiled egg and some fat free dressing. Or, if you don't have time, grab a Mug Shot.

For treats, substitute crisps with Ringo's or Maize snacks.

Instead of chocolate, get fat free mouse (99 cals) or mini cornettos (also about 99 cals)

If you do this, and walk for about 3 miles a day (not necessarily all at once), I guarantee you that the weight will fall off, because I've done it myself.

I think you could drop a stone a month doing this. So, by Christmas you could be 15 stone.

Just always have low cal snacks to hand. I never went hungry when I did it. It sounds hard, but once you see the weight falling off, you will find your resolve increasing.

Good luck!