I weigh 25 stone and don't know what to do

[delilabell]

I don't know how this has happened. We'll I do its cos in eating ridiculous amount of food.
I want to get back to size 22 /24 . I felt comfortable and confident. I now am size 28/30 and I'm disgusted in myself. I'm addicted to sugar I know I am so instart to think about cutting all sugar but them I think I don't want to because I love chocolate. But thats the addiction isn't it? I'm just looking in tje mirror at myself and I look hideous. I joined ww last week (previously was a part of it and lost 5 stone ) but its changed so I wimped out amd cancelled it. I did slimming World once and lost a stone but I got so obsessive that I had to stop for my mental health.
My mental health isn't great. I obsess about things. So if I am losing weight I obsess every hour about how much ill have lost. Dividing the amount I want to lose over the weeks I want to over and over in my head. And then I become so obsessed I have to stop.
I just don't know what to do about it. Any help would be most appreciated please.

OP, I teach fitness classes and can assure you that people of all shapes, sizes, ages and fitness levels come along to my classes. I am certainly not judging any of them and I hope none of the participants are either. Nobody stares or makes comments; everyone is just there to try and get fitter. I really admire people who are obviously at the start of their fitness journey and who are brave enough to put themselves out of their comfort zone.

You sound so sad, *OP, I just want to give you a hug! Overcoming an eating addiction is so, so hard – it's not like with drugs where you can go cold turkey, because you have to eat! I also think you should make an appt to talk to your GP. It's not just WW they can give you free membership of – there's this plan called Second Nature too. I haven't used it myself, but I read about it in an article on how to lower blood sugar levels and deal with being insulin resistant, because they are causes of obesity, and it sounded really good.

Thank you everyone. Bit overwhelmed by all of you if I'm honest.
I'm just going out with my children now. We're walking to the toy shop for them to spend their christmas money. I've dug my (fake) fit bit out so can look at my steps.

Oh, delilabell don’t hate yourself or feel disgusted with yourself!

I think talking to your GP would help, not just about weight loss but about the MH issues that make it hard for you to look after yourself as you would like.

You want to lose weight because you want to be healthier. That is a positive investment in yourself. Nurturing and caring for yourself. You can eat lovely healthy food and have happy times doing so, and looking forward to more happy times, and maybe that will give you happier positive confidence.

I lost a lot of weight and I did it slowly but surely, often 1lb or 2lb a week, but adjusted to a healthier diet and worked up to more exercise. Lovely walks, observing the trees, squirrels in the park, etc.

You have the healthier, happier you inside, waiting to be looked after, valued and cared for.

But whatever works for others, you have to find the right approach for YOU.

Good luck!

Get yourself to accept it mentally. Lost 9 stone - have put some one but my eating is not out of control and I’m happy at the mo. When I’ve had another child then I will body bust back

Just came on to say you are not alone. I weight about 21 stone and have to do something but it is hard when as you say it is an addiction. I barely drink, have never smoked but food is just an addiction for me too and I obsess about it. I am trying to walk more and just cut things out gradually rather than anything drastic. I just bought a coat from a charity shop and got home and it is too small ( should have tried it on in the shop). I seem to completely underestimate how large I really am. I have just landed a new job and need to submit measurements for uniform and I am just mortified. It has such an impact on all aspects of my life. I fall into the trap of rewarding myself. So I face up to a couple of difficult work tasks then reward myself with a chocolate bar. It's not healthy at all.

I’ve struggled with my weight since I was a teenager. I’ve done WW and SW but to be honest, like the thread that was running yesterday in AIBU, they set you up to fail. These diet plans simply don’t address the psychological issues beyond overeating and/or poor food choices. Until we address these then losing and maintaining weight will always be a battle.

Can you see if your GP can refer you for specific counselling so that you can get support and work through any issues? Sometimes we can’t always do this on our own.

I personally find The Fast800 by Michael Mosley has been the best for me for weight loss, but then I have also worked through my inner demons to address why I got overweight in the first place. A basic checklist for this plan is to:
Eliminate bread, rice, pasta, refined carbs and processed foods
Up your protein intake to 50-60g daily
Full fat dairy products (no low fat!)
Introduce time-restricted eating (fasting)
Eat lots of veges (from a list) & limit fruit
Drink 2 L water
Find an exercise that you enjoy

Good luck, and do push the GP for support if you wish to.

My advice in the early days of trying to change your diet and lifestyle for the better is to try and think about eating better, not about eating less. Basically, trying to cut out as much processed food as possible and replace it with proper, home cooked food. I think it's naturally more filling than processed food so you probably will end up eating fewer calories, but that isn't really the point. It's about changing your lifestyle to prioritise your health. After a while, much junk food loses its appeal and it starts to become easier - or even automatic - to ask yourself if you really want something before you tuck in.

Obviously, I don't know what kind of things you're eating at the moment, but if you find it too difficult to eat healthily all the time, you could start by making sure always to have a healthy breakfast. Minimise the sugar. Maybe porridge with berries or half a banana sliced on top. Wholemeal toast with eggs/avocado/tomatoes/peanut butter or whatever takes your fancy. Overnight oats if you want something that will be ready as soon as you reach the kitchen.

I second the recommendation for the book "Why we eat (too much)." with sugar (in particular), the more we eat, the more we want to eat.

Calorie deficit. It’s the only thing which works

So if you like eating that’s fine, but you’re going to have to move more.

Obviously you are limited to the amount of exercise you can do at your weight, but you need to start, even if it’s just walking up and down your stairs 10 times. Just start

OP I was almost 25 stone last year and was feeling as helpless as you are also with a very sweet tooth. SlimmingWorld wasn’t working for me so I decided to do calorie counting and I use the Nutracheck app to do that. My aim is to eat well through the day and then after my evening meal whatever calories I have left from the day can go on chocolate. Skinny whips and curly whurly are my favourite treats, they give the chocolate hit and are chewy so take longer to eat. The weight is coming off slowly, I know it’s taken years to get to this weight so it’s going to take time to loose it. My new job involves a lot of walking so that’s also helping. The Jason Manford weight loss group on Facebook is very supportive so you don’t feel like you’re on your own. Just one hour, one meal, one day at a time and it does start to make a difference.

And OP, important to remind yourself that some exercise/movement is better than none. I know that I wouldn't be completing marathons or long HIT workouts. So I've bought myself a fitbit inspire 2 with the aim of just walking more steps than the day before until I reach 10k a day. When I'm on a long work call to stand up and move. When I'm waiting for kettle to boil, do a few steps around kitchen. All helps.

Leslie Sansone has loads of free walking videos on Youtube. Great for cold, rainy days (like today!). Don't worry about the arm movements, you can build up to that.

I'm addicted to chocolate - it's not easy. When I wanted to lose weight, the thought of stopping chocolate sent me into a panic, so I started to exercise before addressing my diet. This resulted in weight loss and that spurred me on to begin eating slightly less. This resulted in a bit more weight loss and eventually I even managed to reduce the chocolate. Slow but sure, that's the best way to approach it. Once you start taking care of your body by exercising and (hopefully) feeling the benefits, you'll be better placed to address your eating.

Please listen to Paul wistuba freedom from the diet cycle. The problems start in your head. Fix that and your body will follow. This podcast has really shifted my thinking & is a great first step. I promise it'll help you.

Just like @Pearbear, I even started counting calories and using any unused ones at the end of the day for chocolate! If I'm being totally honest, I specifically saved some for the chocolate....

I also replaced the chocolate with low calorie ice cream lollies on a few days a week. Yes, I'd eat four in one go, but hell, less calories than four Crunchies!

I was huge this time last year too. I tried every single thing on this thread, not one worked long term. I was messed up around food. I still am. I had bariatric surgery though in April and have lost 6.5 stone so far. I am now working on my binge eating (which is still there despite the surgery) now that the surgery has restricted the amount I can eat. I am using Brain Over Binge workbook & podcasts to do this. For me, I needed both these things to rescue myself.

For everyone suggesting dieting, i have a question im genuinely intrested in, if diets genuinely worked , why is there many? And why do majority of people who are on them put the weight back on (i dont know exact figures ) there has been no diet ever thats been 100 % successful. Even one thats 90%. Surely there wouldnt need to be so many if at least 1 worked. And also for all the people have "failed" , is it the fault of the person and im talking millions of people. My mum spent most of her life on weight watchers yo yoing. Or could it be the fault of the diet? Restricting is known to cause binging.

Firstly, start being kind to yourself. Can you establish the roots of how you eat, your triggers…
You’ve taken the first step, just keep going. For exercise, start walking, a little at a time, and keep extended what you do.
Only you know how you can sort out your eating, but not having crap in the house is a good start.
Good luck.

Think about the end goal and then set yourself a small daily healthy challenge and build from there. You are trying to change years and years of behaviour instantly and it just won't work leaving you feeling deflated and "what's the point". Don't focus on the scales. Instead think "today I'm going for a walk" or "today I'm going to swap chocolate for fruit"... Take it one day at a time as with any addiction... Oh and get whatever professional help you can but stay clear of fad diets - they hardly ever work in the long term unless you address your long term relationship with food and your body. Keep telling yourself you can do this 👍

OP, I have a suggestion which might work. It has helped me a lot.

Don't diet. Take that pressure off yourself. You aren't in the right headspace to deny and restrict yourself and demand willpower.

Instead do these five very easy things

1.) Drink 2litres of water a day. If you don't like water, infuse it with flavours such as slices or orange or mint and cucumber. Fill a jug and make sure you've drunk it all by the end of the day. A lot of our cravings for salt, sugar and quick fix snacks are due to thirst not hunger.

2.) Move more. Absolutely any movement at all. Lift your arms over your head in a gentle stretch a few time when you get up. Step side to side while you wait for the kettle to boil or toaster to pop or microwave to ping. When you put shopping away do a quick 'weight lift' of the cans of beans etc. Do a little dance around the kitchen. Walk around the block. Take your time. Walk upstairs instead of shouting to the children or partner when you need to speak with them. When you watch TV, rotate your ankles or point and flex your feet. Just keep wriggling and moving and getting up and taking a few more steps than you did the day before. With the extra weight you are carrying, a few steps is very beneficial as it is excellent weight bearing exercise. Good for your bones and muscles.

3.) Make sure you eat 10 a day. That's at least 5 veg and 5 fruit but ideally 7 veg and 3 fruit. 80g is a portion. So you need to be eating 800g of fresh stuff every day. Other than that, don't fix your eating habits unless you want to. You could also make a list of all the food you absolutely LOVE that just happens to also be healthy and do some meal plans based on those foods.

4.) Make a list of small non food treats that are easy to have and include several in your day consciously when you might have reached for chocolate. E.g. listen to your favourite song. Watch a you tube comedy clip of a favourite comedian or of cute kittens. Paint your nails, wax your brows, have a face mask, buy a magazine, have a long bath, buy yourself flowers, read a feel good novel or self help book, watch an uplifting Ted talk or podcast, do a 5-10 minute meditation or affirmation session on You Tube etc. Get into the habit of reaching for non food soothers and treats.

5.) Every time you do any of the above - even if you just lift your arms over your head in a stretch or take a sip of water, congratulate yourself and think: These small steps are changing my attitude to my body. I am caring for it now, helping it get strong and healthy.

I've lost 20lbs doing this because if I even think about dieting I have binged by lunch time of Day 1. Diets don't work for all people, so rethinking and having a healthy attitude that focuses on self care is a better way forward.

One of my friends has lost over 14 stone in the last couple of years. She started very gradually, so a low impact exercise DVD a few times a week together with a 30 minute walk every day - which she had to break up into 10 minute blocks initially as she couldn’t manage the entire walk in one go.

She started buying healthier food but didn’t change her diet all in one go, it was done over several months. A small change each week, so fresh chicken breasts rather than processed nuggets. The next week would be new potatoes rather than chips, then an apple for a mid morning snack rather than biscuits.

Because she did it slowly and didn’t try to change everything in one go, she’s really stuck to it and looks amazing.

Try the keto diet! When you’re craving chocolate have a handful of berries instead and a herbal tea. That should curb the craving.
The first 2 days are difficult and your body will be craving the sugar - after that you’ll get used to it! I know a couple people who have lost loads of weight on the keto diet. It’s high fat and high protein. But no carbs or sugar. Sweetest thing you can have is berries. The plus side is that you can still eat a lot.

A typical day would be:

Large omelette with cheese
Nuts to snack on

Chicken and green beans (cheese again if you like)

Tuna for dinner.

One has to permanently ''diet'' to maintain a ''lower'' weight. Dieting actually makes you fatter, in my opinion, as soon as you stop.

Oh OP you are in a bind, but it's not impossible to get out of... nor, though, will it be quick.

It sounds like your brain needs working on, first and foremost, as that controls everything else. Once your brain switches from being an awkward toddler to being a helpful grownup, the biggest barrier is gone!

So, ask around for counselling recommendations. Talk to the GP.

But you can do stuff yourself, now. Start taking a few seconds to question your own actions and decisions.
Say you're heading for breakfast and it's a fryup. Ask yourself three questions.

1. Is there stuff I can do differently RIGHT NOW? e.g. could I have a smaller fryup? Or do they offer fruit and yoghurt, or porridge and fruit, which I could have instead?

2. Is there stuff I could do differently IN FUTURE? e.g. prepare a healthy breakfast at home - e.g. salmon and scrambled egg -

3. What do I need to do or find out to do (2)? e.g. look up what will keep me fullest longest, shop for the right stuff, buy smaller plates and bowls, meet the breakfast friend at a different cafe etc etc

And keep a diary of what worked and what didn't. Most important, write down why you think you felt as you did - e.g. "HAD to have doughnut as had had only 3h sleep", "ate chocolate at 7pm because, habit really..."

You can, to a certain extent, be your own counsellor. Write down about your childhood, upbringing, relationships. Read up about psychology and how people's circumstances affect how they eat. Be prepared to support yourself a bit more, "sorry I can't do that this time around" to make space for your health efforts.

Build your self confidence by consistently recording small wins - "bought smaller, more expensive bar with chocolate budget", "record at least 1000 steps before lunch" and take it from there.

Good luck! You can get there!

Bit left field but I recently started taking any anxiety meds and the best side effect for me is no more emotional eating as I am now emotionally stable. Before, I would pick all day and now I stop when I'm not hungry. This is the first time in my adult life that I've eaten normally. Might be worth a shot?