Excruciating situation that I had DEFINITELY NOT thought through. What am I going to do?!

[Diditopknot]

Absolutely delighted to have landed myself a dream job that is just amazing and life changing.
Before I tell you my issue I need to tell you that I suffer from a degree of social anxiety.

I never EVER go to works do’s, party’s, weddings, leaving do’s birthday parties, pubs…ever. I don’t drink alcohol, I don’t own any “going out clothing”.
I’m considerably overweight, old and very introvert.

I have been invited by my new employer to a “company meeting “ which takes place in a hotel over 2 days. Very keen to attend, can’t wait to get started with this amazing opportunity.

The info about the “meeting “ arrived, all good until I get to the bottom… You are invited to dinner at said hotel, meet at 7pm for cocktails, Meal at 8pm, dress code ….1920’s Gatsby “
The whole thing, hotel & train tickets all paid for by the company.

What the fuck am I going to do?
It is so far removed from what I feel comfortable with,
There’s no way I would ever agree to going to something like this!!!!

@Diditopknot

Thank you thank you THANKYOU each and every one of you for not calling me an ungrateful twat and telling to grow up!!

Even the thought of wearing a dress, feathers and all that shite makes my skin crawl and makes me feel sick.

But if I do look at it (like a very wise pp said up thread) as just part of the job for a couple of hours I will do my best to crawl through it. With gritted teeth, forced smile I shall persevere.

Then I shall raise through the ranks, ban all of these shinanegans and sit on a throne wearing a tiara in my fancy office.

If the dress is a no go hows trousers? We can between us dress you pretty cheaply with a nod to 20s style. It wasn't all flapper dresses and feathers.

A lot of flapper shoes were gold / silver etc with a t-bar. If you don’t do heels, you could perhaps go for these, t-bar flats. www.ebay.co.uk/itm/322326180355?_trkparms=ispr%3D1&hash=item4b0c233203:g:U-gAAOSwZ-lbfd6S&amdata=enc%3AAQAGAAACoPYe5NmHp%252B2JMhMi7yxGiTJkPrKr5t53CooMSQt2orsSvhAqMt0wg86xg8aAkgjQJFse1MkW5OmnpZlLF9%252FzFSeLbzeyHXcLA%252Fj%252Fja%252Fx7kzeoteMXRRV6JEZl%252Fgv2q9XjnepoVcfR7gHUj5WlCR%252FZQzrZ5CakaLsOh4PPOo3TzxBKYzFdGsCm1LmMGRtYMA91PXynH1o26oEbcg8KNI9%252BtkGpNuuIGMTMAJdGFHYFMmI94k2%252BtZdl7nnyLjJK9818D6dhTFuuewi469daveOmwIU%252BXqVc8HY%252B9F2m%252FrtzPKConkR6VQrO0GV662uMX6guhO%252BptN6foOlwqWJOiJdSyTFqaVFe8xNDnfOpCe4EcAiG0R5U2BKZhsgC7R6P2ET%252BGkjABUNG45XQgA%252FDSsbfZFD3c6ooBJVDsKgTaO3%252F%252Bn1WTaaEZu4Lmuo8pH8sfhTry%252Fn7dqgAPiJNWhrS%252BR1BEowBqmSh2sRFfRQeeL6ZtdseaC4691%252F0grbcs%252FOLfhUoagL%252B5qJmEPA1jo5MmsAarvqfQi%252BjsQAYh9kPkgww8tZ8Cn6O%252FJQE%252BSWPlWOFM8KvZKsnQ5Ur9LBXGPr5jD12BGC%252BHf2dk%252BMI9p4Bs4vb7a7DJd1oQc6L8vAEOITLAkyDaYsZLz0nnNWpnY54sgVFsE5HeB9ijEYhex4gQDzvhEwvZxlI3SjVjf1P6ZL13Y1ChQofYHRZJT%252BLuaSLqEuqLeds%252BBNmzDB0b%252BIiOOQ1wnDJ9XHC%252BCCbIyHvZpLLrKEbWc%252Fq10nxYqbfGOvr4UwRS%252F3NFpRc0FzRmvtgUvbosI7fLOcfECmRiAv55xujUHmJEmTkDLyZWlP8VgWd4%252BoPYVrfILHdGwteTEeLK0tlp1ChovsLIJqMeG8x3JeJcxaMQ%253D%253D%7Cclp%3A2334524%7Ctkp%3ABFBMjsqlkMZf

I wore a dress similar to this (Zara) to a similar event. With a cheap Amazon headband

@HewasH2O

www.seasaltcornwall.com/boscawenun-silk-velvet-party-dress Not quite Great Gatsby, but Seasalt velvet tops and dresses cover a multitude of sins. You never know, you may actually learn a few choice phrases in your new role, just as they'll learn a few from you.

This is such a good suggestion.

@Mummyoflittledragon

That lightinthebox jacket is fabulous. Would work very well over a plain black dress.

You sound great! Congratulations. Keep that fab sense of humour through this works 'do' and you will be fine.

Black is very insightful. You should hire us both, Didi

I am similar vintage, swears and shape HCP, and also left the NHS for corporate work. Never looked back, well, not yet.

I'd have a positive LFT result. I'm serious.

But hopefully OP is less of a stick-in-the-mud than me.

Would something like this work (they have it in a knee length version too) www.inthestyle.com/ash-black-foil-ditsy-print-shirred-balloon-sleeve-maxi-dress

It’s blank with gold foil so a little glamour and you can add a 20s accessory. It comes in sizes 4-28 too.

That Seasalt velvet dress is perfect, and at least you might be able to dress it differently again. Otherwise, id say rent an outfit from a fancy dress shop rather than trawl the high street for something that's suitable that you don't really like. Often ends up cheaper, particularly if you really wont wear the dress again.

1920's doesn't have to be tiny flapper dresses

Biba have some lovely 20's inspired dresses and tops

www.houseoffraser.co.uk/brand/biba/deco-sequin-dress-657572#colcode=65757206

@Chipperfish

I must admit, every Gatsby themed party I have been to has been an absolute car crash

This made me

OP I had a job with lots of evening 'fun' parties like this. I love events generally but I always treated stuff like this as work. It's actually a great opportunity to size up your colleagues, see who is friends with who, determine the different dynamics, etc. If they're all drinking and you're sober, it's even better because their inhibitions will be down and you can observe. I never drank at events like that but never mentioned it so that my abstinence didn't become a talking point.

There will be so many indiscreet comments from your new colleagues. It's the perfect introduction to them.

[quote TatianaBis]@Mummyoflittledragon

That lightinthebox jacket is fabulous. Would work very well over a plain black dress.[/quote]
I thought so too and agree about a plain black dress. It could also perhaps work well over the large trousers and white shirt women wore back then. When I’m trying to look sophisticated (not often) I try to channel my inner Margot Leadbetter (Good Life).

If possible I would probably want to clarify the level of commitment the other staff are likely to show to the dress code. Especially if it's a relatively small group where you can't get lost in the crowd if you have vastly over-committed to the theme compared to others.

I went to something like this a long time ago that ostensibly had a dress code theme and absolutely nobody themed their outfits.

@Diditopknot

All clothing suggestions are great BUT I will end up looking like Nessa of of Gavin & Stacey in all of these things.

Cracking.

Congratulations on the job :)

Not my thing at all either - but how about channelling your inner Nessa - how would she front it out?

I bet you will actually have a great time!

I'd go with a 20s gatsby gangster suit.

It'll be very flattering plus you get to wear sensible shoes!

Just popping my head in to say congratulations on the new role!

Oh the parties I've missed because of my social anxiety and weight! And how I regret it now!
I know it's tough but please remember people won't be looking at you and judging, you're all in it together looking like absolute planks and feeling just as awkward as each other 😉!
From your reply you know this is something you need to do in order to get where you want to be and who knows, you may even enjoy it!
Wishing you lots of luck, let us know how it goes! X

I think a nice suit and a trilby hat and you are sorted. I'm not one for dresses. :-)

Oh and congratulations! Now go and show them why they hired you! 💪

toot da root!!!!! (that was trumpet)you greatly underplayed blowing yours. Congratulations re job,life changey etc.
Sa a pain in ass, i like ive read up to bit you are gona grit your teeth n crawl tthrough it
this is good,positive and uber fantastic.
Although-way outta your comfort zone...lookit as a positive.
THEY ARE PROvide dress code info plain old blacktie woulda been worse.whats your budget and size am a look for(body shape/hair length colour/help)too.. get exited!
life change eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!!

Do stressfull!
I was worried about every day smart work wear HOWEVER, pretty sure that “85%working from home” on my contract translates into…”pj bottoms and slippers… with smart shirt, bra optional “.
Tits down to my knees so boobs not visible on camera screen.

Love the jacket also.

Or a fringed shawl?

I would play along and go to the hotel and then have a migraine on the party night.

Velvet skirt- elastic waist , top, headband and gloves- ebay