Excruciating situation that I had DEFINITELY NOT thought through. What am I going to do?!

[Diditopknot]

Absolutely delighted to have landed myself a dream job that is just amazing and life changing.
Before I tell you my issue I need to tell you that I suffer from a degree of social anxiety.

I never EVER go to works do’s, party’s, weddings, leaving do’s birthday parties, pubs…ever. I don’t drink alcohol, I don’t own any “going out clothing”.
I’m considerably overweight, old and very introvert.

I have been invited by my new employer to a “company meeting “ which takes place in a hotel over 2 days. Very keen to attend, can’t wait to get started with this amazing opportunity.

The info about the “meeting “ arrived, all good until I get to the bottom… You are invited to dinner at said hotel, meet at 7pm for cocktails, Meal at 8pm, dress code ….1920’s Gatsby “
The whole thing, hotel & train tickets all paid for by the company.

What the fuck am I going to do?
It is so far removed from what I feel comfortable with,
There’s no way I would ever agree to going to something like this!!!!

Congratulations 🥳

Nightmare 😩

Positive LFT 👍🏻

Congratulations on your new job op!

I would adapt one of your existing outfits if you can and just "allude" to the theme, not go the whole way.

For example; M&S do some excellent black, wide legged, trousers with an elasticated waist, that hang well and you'll be able to use them afterwards. Add a drapey dark top with some long pearls, a cigarette holder, some bangles, maybe a feather in your hair or a headband, bright lipstick, a sparkly handbag and you are there.

All the youngsters can go the whole way with costumes! I doubt management will be expecting you to!
Just stay the minimum time and people watch, meet your colleagues etc, and make mental notes as to who is who. With any luck the whole shebang will be cancelled owing to COVID!

@Diditopknot would be willing to send you pic if you want to see. I seriously am in my 50s and very overweight and got told "wow, you are beautiful" in a stunned voice by more than one person. Am not beautiful, seriously.

I also brought something with me to change into and changed after dinner into something comfortable.

Large flows silky wide leg trousers and silky tunics were also the rage then too, like big silky pjs. You could change into them and still be "in character" if you wanted to.

Huge congratulations on landing the job!!

I am also similarly introverted. I would force myself to the party but find an all black outfit I felt comfortable in and add the headband and feather like PPs have suggested

I’ve just worn a black dress and some themed nice costume jewellery with plum red lipstick the two times I’ve been to a Gatsby themed do. It’s only a work thing so not everyone will be going over the top ( some will because they love dressing up.

Just go for it, wear your usual clothes, and whap a long string of fake pearls over it. Very easy 1920s look!

www.allylikes.com/item/2000000001213851.html?cp_source=ppc&cp_country=all&cp_channel=google&cp_lp=item&aff_platform=true&shortKey=27ogi7&albcp=15453534878&albag=130493826197&albad=566098442575&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIzvzi1pae9QIVh-vtCh2q1QreEAQYByABEgLf2_D_BwE&ug_region=gb&ug_currency=gbp&ug_lang=en_us&spm=a2g34.landing_page&fx_shortlink_uid=04ae7d93635640369917318a08b0d7d2

What about this with a feather headband?

I love the wide trouser idea.

I really wish you were my colleague.

I wear the same 'uniform' of black jersey dress to literally everything. Interviews, parties, funerals, out to the pub, down to the park, on my bicycle. Just cannot be bothered thinking about it much. I find it relatively easy to dress appropriately for all sorts of occasions just by varying my accessories and I don't have to worry about what I am wearing, ever. I'd totally just go for a long beaded necklace for this, and if I was feeling outragously bothered, perhaps a headband and swoops of eyeliner.

@Cakequeen1988 - nice one !

Loving everyone coming up with suggestions .

@Diditopknot you are fabulous!

Think it through carefully. Wear a plain dress ideally just below knee then buy cheap accessories from the 1920's online store or Amazon to bling it up a little to show willing, but make sure the dress and shoes are clothes you feel comfortable in

My DH has just been on this. It's a corporate run themed event, not fancy dress for the hell of it
Don't worry!
He said a lot of people didn't bother to dress up anyway. You don't have to go all feather boa and sequins, just a nod to it will do. It's a great night, you'll enjoy it once you're there.
I'm jealous. I'm public service so we don't get so much as a spoon of coffee.... or even a spoon for that matter!

@Diditopknot

Thank you thank you THANKYOU each and every one of you for not calling me an ungrateful twat and telling to grow up!!

Even the thought of wearing a dress, feathers and all that shite makes my skin crawl and makes me feel sick.

But if I do look at it (like a very wise pp said up thread) as just part of the job for a couple of hours I will do my best to crawl through it. With gritted teeth, forced smile I shall persevere.

Then I shall raise through the ranks, ban all of these shinanegans and sit on a throne wearing a tiara in my fancy office.

It’s a shame you have social anxiety OP, you sound like you have a good sense of humour and it’s a pity to deprive people of your company. Good for you to face your fear. Congratulations, and good luck with the job.

I’d fucking hate it

And my first response was to ask when is it and how much can you lose (check my username)

But really work stuff shouldn’t encroach this much and most to a token fake coffee and some pearls. Fuck it
Ok, and style out the kids who go to endless
Lengths. Interpretation is everything!

Black head band with ostrich feather, some long gloves and a black dress.

I feel you though - I would hate this. I would grin and bear it though and make my excuses to leave as early as possible.

Congratulations!

Isn't it a shame that your social calendar is so full and that you're now double booked? Join the works thing for cocktails and then say you have to dash because you have the AGM of The Worshipful Assembly of Cross Stitchers (or date night with a packet of doritos).

I hate these themed parties, but you'll be fine. You sound a riot! I hope you have as good a time as possible and then enjoy the job.

Congratulations!

Congrats on the job!

You’ll be fine - stick on some glitter/sequins on a top, whatever trousers, and a fun headgear fascinator thing and some paste earrings. Down a couple cocktails 20s style. If you are particularly worried (or just lazy/useless like me) then book a hairdresser to do it.

‘You are invited…’ to the dinner. So you can decline with thanks.

Iwore this to a 20s night for 2019 NYE. Worn it a good few times since.

www.phase-eight.com/product/felicity-fringe-dress-230575050.html#q=fringed%20dress&is=false&sz=60&start=0&isSecondPage=false&pid=230575050&pos=17

If you are less portly than me, there are similar dresses on Phase 8
www.phase-eight.com/search/?q=fringed%20dress

No dodgy fancy dress outfit. Turn up and smile, make sure you have schmoozed with everyone and then leave when it seems appropriate.

Depends on budget but a very plain black dress with a One Hundred Stars short kimono worn loose over could fit the theme without being too much of a flapper cliché. The Stork one is a muted grey with a feathers print which would work well. Good cover up and looks quite stylish. They are under £50. If it were me I would feel more confident not dressed up in silly fancy dress.

I’m the same as @Askingforfriend
“ For me, dressing up and wearing make up is kind of like armour for such social events. It helps me hide real me and be pretend-social-me. I get ready for battle by putting it all on. Would approaching it that way help?”

Before children I worked for a company whose customers were at least millionaires. We had to do this sort of thing once a year. It gave me a chance to not give a damn that I felt silly, because people who love these things don’t see it with the same lens as we do.
Black dress, some accessories and a hairdresser to do some sort of 30s thing with your hair. Can you get a massive fan to hide your face when you want to grimace?!

Get through it and you’ll feel amazing that you beat the fear.

I'll go instead! Please op, let me!