Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

What are the worst things your in laws have done or said to you?

243 replies

Awkwardusername · 31/12/2021 09:16

Struggling a bit as my future in laws can’t stand me (or my husband to be it would seem!) but everyone around me has a great relationship with their in laws.
Anyone else got an amazing partner with awful parents and/or siblings?

Hoping this is vaguely light hearted!

My favourite: I told them I got my wedding dress from a high street shop for £200 and they told me the wedding would be “cheap and disgusting”, and that the dried flowers we’re having will be “stinking, dull and boring”. They haven’t seen the dress or the flowers!

OP posts:
Bjarnum · 31/12/2021 15:12

Would I mind getting the bus to the Reception straight after the church so that I didn't have to appear in any photos .... I didn't go at all. The irony is I hate being photographed and anyway isn't it easier simply to arrange pictures so you can later select the ones you want . Quietly. The last in a series of jibes. Literally the last - haven't spoken for 20 years.

justasking111 · 31/12/2021 15:14

@Bjarnum

Would I mind getting the bus to the Reception straight after the church so that I didn't have to appear in any photos .... I didn't go at all. The irony is I hate being photographed and anyway isn't it easier simply to arrange pictures so you can later select the ones you want . Quietly. The last in a series of jibes. Literally the last - haven't spoken for 20 years.
Were you the bride??
BikeMyCycle · 31/12/2021 15:15

@MintyGreenDream

Grandparents in law told me 3 months post partum that I looked 3.months pregnant and was I sure everything had "gone back to normal" bastards I held it together til we left then bawled my eyes out.
My MIL started saying how my SIL’s (DH’s brothers wife) tummy had already gone down following the birth of their baby about a week before. We were on a group phone call and I just left the room slamming the door as I went 😂.

Next time I saw her I said how commenting on any woman’s body after pregnancy (or generally for that matter) just wasn’t necessary and I hope that they’d never commented on my tummy post partum (which never went down...). She denied the ever did and while she’s a nice lady overall, my DHs family have an unhealthy obsession about talking about each other’s body shapes. I’ve now said it a few times in front of them they need to stop.

FIL doesn’t like me as I’m the only one who pulls him up on his awful behaviour but I’ll always do it 😂

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General shopping General style & beauty
LakieLady · 31/12/2021 15:16

My ex MIL was a devout Catholic who refused to accept that ex and I were really married, because we didn't get married in a Catholic church.

If only she'd been right, it wouldn't have cost me a small fortune to divorce the fucker.

She also used to spend ages trying to convince me, a die-hard atheist, of the existence of god.

And she was a vile racist bitch. She thought her neighbours, who were from Ghana or Nigeria, had too many children. They had 4. She was mother to 7.

Madbadandusuallysad · 31/12/2021 15:16

When we announced we were expecting a baby girl- "oh well never mind maybe next time you will have a boy"

Pollypocket2021 · 31/12/2021 15:20

After I had my fifth miscarriage my MIL said she’s praying for sons for me.

Pollypocket2021 · 31/12/2021 15:21

@Madbadandusuallysad

When we announced we were expecting a baby girl- "oh well never mind maybe next time you will have a boy"
If you don’t mind me asking, what ethnicity are your in laws? My Syrian in laws say this when someone gives birth to a baby girl.
danmthatonestakentryanotheer · 31/12/2021 15:22

After 1 stillbirth and 3LTM's the first words out of (thankfully theEx)MiL's mouth after I had given birth to my 5th child was "well at least this one's alive, I would have preferred it to have been a boy though, I already have 4 GD's. Oh well better luck next time".

danmthatonestakentryanotheer · 31/12/2021 15:25

Madbadandusuallysad Pollypocket2021

I think we may all have all had the same MiL.

Dacquoise · 31/12/2021 15:25

My SIL decided to get on that very high horse of hers and organise a secret meeting for my DM, who I had just gone NC with, to see my daughter. My DB couldn't see why I would have a problem with that. She cut me off completely shortly after that.

Ten years later has seen the light about my DM and gone NC themselves. Suddenly got an email extolling the virtues of family, especially aunties and uncles cousins etc wanting us to meet up. Pass on that one methinks.

Pollypocket2021 · 31/12/2021 15:27

@danmthatonestakentryanotheer

After 1 stillbirth and 3LTM's the first words out of (thankfully theEx)MiL's mouth after I had given birth to my 5th child was "well at least this one's alive, I would have preferred it to have been a boy though, I already have 4 GD's. Oh well better luck next time".
Please tell me you knocked the b**h out!!!
ILoveAnOwl · 31/12/2021 15:28

MIL said she wondered if my son's disability was caused by me giving him too much calpol.

Spoiler alert: no it was not...

Nightwithhertrainofstars · 31/12/2021 15:45

I was struggling to breastfeed DD1, pumping and trying to stimulate production in every possible way. My MIL said in typically blunt southern European style "Don't you have any milk, Night?" Just about floored me at a very low and vulnerable time. We generally get on well but there were many ill-judged comments when DD was a newborn.

HazelBite · 31/12/2021 15:47

Never came to our wedding because DH should not have been marrying "A scarlet woman"
Me and DH have been married 44 years, after MIL realised she couldn't upset me she gave up. FIL became quite close after MIL's death I miss him greatly.

SallyOMalley · 31/12/2021 15:48

When dh and I married, they wanted to 'redo' some of the photos a few weeks later. Without me in them.

According to my fil, I'm a terrible mother and my dc don't deserve me. He never wanted me as part of his family. The last time we met (3 years ago), he lost his temper, purple in the face, and pushed me. My beautiful children are all down to my dh, apparently.

We haven't seen the PILs since and, interestingly, fil has not tried to contact his gchildren once. So much for adoring them and giving them all I can't.

2022beesknees · 31/12/2021 15:58

Both from evil SIL (now ex SIL).

'She has the face on of a bulldog chewing a wasp'.

Licked index finger and made a 'one-up' gesture in the air after I'd attempted a dance (and failed) and MIL took to the floor and executed the dance properly.

ShinyHappyPoster · 31/12/2021 15:59

MIL spent my wedding telling me I'd stolen her baby Hmm and that he could come back to her at any time. He hadn't lived with her for years. He'd left as soon as he could Grin
After the wedding, when people were ordering photos from the proofs, she ordered one of her and DH; and one of DH on his own. It was so hilariously rude, it just made me laugh Grin

danmthatonestakentryanotheer · 31/12/2021 16:01

Please tell me you knocked the bh out!!!

I wish I could say I did, but justice was served many years later. Her father posted a picture of DD at her graduation, (we had been divorced many years previously, but he was still massively involved in DD's life). His mother commented about how "proud (she) was of her amazing GD", which prompted this reply from DD...." Yeah you're so proud of me that you haven't bothered with any contact for the last 15 years so fuck off you witch!!!!".

danmthatonestakentryanotheer · 31/12/2021 16:03

For context ExMiL had moved abroad and despite sending invitations to all the other GC to stay, never once invited DD over.

itsgettingweird · 31/12/2021 16:08

My x MIL.

Not a horrible person but very emotionally cold and odd.

When we split I asked her to have DS for a day whilst I worked as her DS had cancelled his contact day. She couldn't because "I have errands to run".

Then popped into my place of work halfway through to shift to "see if I'd managed to get someone to have ds so I could work". HmmConfused

She never helped me, never encouraged her ds to step up and constantly said how she understood how hard it was as she'd been a single parent (met her then and current DH when her ds was 18 maths old!). And regained me of tales of their hardship as if that would make me feel better 🤷‍♀️

One evening ds was taken to hospital. Meningitis was mentioned at one point. I tried ring XDP and couldn't get hold of him. Eventually (admittedly at 10.30pm) I rang XMIL to ask her if he was there and tell her what was happening and if she could get a message to him asap when she sees him. (He was living there at the time after the split).

She yelled at me Shock I'd disturbed their sleep and I knew they were getting up tomorrow to go and apartment hunt for XDP.

Then 3 days later she rang to tell me off because I'd not let them know how ds was.

I was VERY firm that they knew he was in hospital and they could have come down, text or rang me and found out for themselves. And it's not my responsibility to run around after them whilst caring for ds once I've informed them of the state of play.

Luckily ds was fine but had bronchitis so was still quite ill.

IamGusFring · 31/12/2021 16:09

@TyrannosaurusRights

3rd trimester of pregnancy. Told in laws the baby was very tiny, dropping down percentiles, and the pregnancy was being managed on a week by week basis.

MIL said ‘that sounds very positive’.

Now we tell them nothing.

I imagine this is the comment of someone who doesn't really know what you mean and is trying to say something positive .
itsgettingweird · 31/12/2021 16:12

@darumafan

My MIL told me that I had killed my son. He committed suicide when he was just 22 years old. I haven't seen her since she said that.
Oh my word. I'm so so sorry. Not only the death of your son but MIL insensitive comments. Thanks
PieMistee · 31/12/2021 16:18

@TyrannosaurusRights

3rd trimester of pregnancy. Told in laws the baby was very tiny, dropping down percentiles, and the pregnancy was being managed on a week by week basis.

MIL said ‘that sounds very positive’.

Now we tell them nothing.

Unless you have reason to believe otherwise I bet your mother-in-law have no idea what a percentile is DH still doesn't get it despite us having 4 DC. He's not usually that thick but can't get his head around the concept.
ErinAoife · 31/12/2021 16:21

In the early days of being with her son, she told me she won't mind my kids when she was childminding the neighbour's kids - I did not have any kids at the time and wasn't even expecting. Did not get a Christmas present one year as she told me she was waiting for the January sales to buy me something, still waiting for it. She started being nice to me after the birth of my second child and we have now a good relationship, she is ringing me often now despite her son left me and I do visit her more often than her son.

onlyreadingneverposting8 · 31/12/2021 16:28

MIL actually told my DH of now 21 yrs, at the alter "you don't have to marry her you know...she's going to ruin your life". I kid you not. After our 1st child was born we went NC for 3 yrs but then DH's Aunt died and we've been low contact since then. DH and au have a toss up as to who has the worst parents as mine are awful too.