If you're over 40

[inmyslippers]

What advice would you give to women in their 30s

@RedPandaWanda - Could you please elaborate in which way your life is not just as good in your 40s? From your description, it sounds fantastic (you have love, health, children and friends), regardless of the the age.

Don’t forget to moisturise your hands and neck.

Don’t be a SAHM if possible.

If it makes anyone feel any better, I enjoyed my 30s more than my twenties and my 40s even more.

@cushioncovers

You will feel more tired and less impressed with things when you get into your forties. The child in you will start to fade, so enjoy your youth whilst you still have it.

I am 68 and my inner child has not faded.

@Chunkymenrock

Marriage and children are totally optional. In many cases, you're better off without either.

I could not agree more with this.

It’s not your destiny to get married and have kids. Those are some of the multitude of (often more rewarding) options available to you.

So consider all your options before jumping in - and leave it as late as you can should you choose to jump in!

Having kids is not the be all and end all, if you don't know if you want them or can't have them you can still have a lovely life (and anyone that makes you feel 'less' because of your decisions or circumstances is an arsehole who doesn't deserve your time)

Lifetime ISA - you can't open them after you're 40. A small easy thing that can make a difference as you can't take it out til you're 60 (and it doesn't have to go towards a house purchase).

You can put in up to £4k a year and the govt gives you 25% on top.

One day you may wish you were as fat as you think you are now.

Take no shit
Give no fucks
Get a pension
Save every month, even if it’s only a small amount.
Don’t give up work to be a SAHM - stay on the career ladder, even if you coast for a few years.
If getting married is important to you, don’t have children first. He won’t marry you once the children are here and if you’ve given up work you’ll be very vulnerable.
Find skincare that suits you
Don’t be too fat or too thin
Live within your means
Travel - do things like go to New York or Hong Kong for a weekend.
Be spontaneous.

I would always suggest that you first find out why people want what they want of you.

Then decide whether you are prepared to give it.

The sunscreen song covers it

@expatmigrant totally agree - am in my fifties and never been fitter or more at peace with myself.. it honestly got better .. no downhill here !

I would say (not in any order):

Don’t get fat.
Don’t have kids with a man who won’t marry you.
Have as much time with your kids when they’re small as you can (can afford or whatever).
Work out what really matters to you and make that a priority. Don’t be swayed by what others think.

If you don't have a partner but really want a child, believe me when I say it's much much easier raising a child on your own than with the wrong partner, so don't delay - if you can afford to then start your family regardless.

Also, don't give up work, you'll give up a part of yourself and its so difficult trying to start a career with young kids.

Pay into a pension (it saved our bacon in covid). Stay in work if you have children. Good for your mental health and career. Learn a language. Do any big renovations with an eye to later life (make sure you have a ground level shower /loo). Travel.

@RoyalFamilyFan

Statistically women are more likely to be unhappy in their late forties/fifties/ It is the sandwich generation of teenagers/elderly parents, alongside perimenopause and menopause. It is also when you often start to feel ageism at work.

Christ, you’ve hit the nail on its head! Extreme worry about teens and elderly parents along with the menopause is absolutely crushing me into someone I don’t even recognise anymore.

@Momof2boys1girl

Don’t use credit cards unnecessarily

...unless you pay them off in full every month, when you can actually earn points/cashback.

@BoredZelda

One day you may wish you were as fat as you think you are now.

Eh?

Enjoy yourself.

Life is short.

I'm 45. One DS, 10 with SEN.

I work FT and have supported DH through a career change as the sole breadwinner.

No family support and suffered bereavement young ( lost my mum at 19).

I have a stressful life situation - but I have learned how to get balance and be happy.

My advice:

Menopause and peri menopause suck. Have started HRT and my goodness it's made a difference. Don't mess about - it's worth it. Very simply it's a hormone deficiency- and totally treatable.

Find activities that bring you joy - and do them often. For me it's sea swimming. I get up early most days and meet two like-minded ladies on the beach when conditions are good. It's amazing and sets us all up.

Find a sport you enjoy. Not for physical health but for mental health. For me it's running and walking.

Invest resources, time and money in your physical and mental health.

Get a pension.

Don't give up your financial independence

Use sunscreen

Have goals - ie mine is to travel more - this will be cheap ( camping!) but a nice way to see Europe.

If you haven't settled on a career yet and are still bumping from low paid admin to slightly better paid admin because you did what everyone said you should do to have you off their minds, have a really good think about what you are good at and what you enjoy. Start to creep towards it. If you have a toxic family, don't mention what you are doing.

Moisturise, moisturise, moisturise!

Write a plan of what you want from life. Imagine your 70 and looking back - I'm so glad I did ...
Then act on it now! Make it happen

Stop waiting and get doing
Life is short, and not a rehearsal
Feeling horny as your reproductive years come to an end is fun
Expect to feel more confident and give less fucks as you get older

Don’t read the Daily Mail.

Moisturise your neck every day, twice a day.