If you're over 40

[inmyslippers]

What advice would you give to women in their 30s

Ignore advice from women in their 40's

@godmum56

Ignore advice from women in their 40's

I am in my fifties. My early forties were the best times of my life. I would have given fairly irrelevant advice then.

Don't take life too seriously, have fun when you can and don't think for one minute that life is "over" at 40,50 or 60.

I think most of us would have been aware of these pieces of advice in our 30s? It’s not like people are wandering round being fat and loving it in their 30s that a piece of advice to ‘lose the weight now’ would have made much of a difference.

I am in my late fifties. I actually find it easier to lose weight now than I did. But that is because most people are fat for emotional or psychological reasons. If you are just talking about the lose half a stone to wear a holiday bikini crowd, then yes I am sure it is easier when you are younger.

1. pension

2.talk clearly and openly with your DH/DP about money and how you intend to save/spend. If you are prepared to share your home, your bed and have children together then you you need to both know how that is going to work out financially.

1. not many people care what you wear
2. you can't unsay something - be very careful about telling a secret or being the recipient of a secret

Don't fall in to the get older get fatter trap.
Stay fit, eat well and use SPF.
If you want kids, have them now...but they're not compulsory.
Plan for financial old age.
If not already attached make sure he's worthy of you.
Do not put off travelling because of DCs...taken ours around the world with us. They have children in all countries.

Pension all the way

Start small if you want - but start

@TimeForTeaAndG

Always ask which publication the article is for.

No doubt one of those you win a tenner for tip of the week in.

Make the most of being able to sit down/ stand up without screaming out in pain! Or maybe that's just the advice I would have given to MY 30 year old self!

Learn how to say no. And say it and mean it when necessary.

Develop a hard stare (with raised eyebrow if you can)

Hope for the best but always prepare for the worst.

Judge people on their actions rather than their words.

If you find a good friend, value them.

Do not put up with his substandard bullshit. You’re not his mum, or his secretary or his cook/housemaid/nanny etc. He’s not ‘helping’ by doing his share of housework. He’s not babysitting by caring for his own children. He isn’t a good dad if he’s treating you like shit. If he isn’t treating you with the same love and respect that you show him, then he needs to go.

Save, but do it quietly so you’re not fending off loan requests from feckless relatives.

I think it’s easy in your 30s to get bogged down with young children, juggling life and suddenly you are mid 40s and things like pensions and health issues suddenly become a lot more real.
I know lots have babies late 30s or 40 plus but I do think seeing celebrities have babies later lulls people into false sense of security not knowing what has happened behind scenes. People often don’t think beyond their first. So first age 39 but then you are in 40s, knackered with a toddler trying to conceive number 2 and suddenly impact of age and race against time all becomes more real.

@mycatistrans

Crack on with having your children. Don't wait til late 30s.

This!!!!! All the benefits of stability and financial security must be weighed against the absolute exhaustion of having children later (very tired toddler mummy who just turned 40)

Use face moisturiser every day.

Increase pension contributions.

Don't waste time trying to figure out why wankers act like wankers.

Do the travelling that you always wanted to do.

@Almostwelsh you absolutely nailed it with that comment!

Re pension:
Retirement age will probably be 85 by the time you retire.

I would think of investing it somewhere else where you can have direct control over your own money. But I can see why people don’t want to get into that, as most have no idea where to start and how to do it.

Keep pushing at work even if you know you want kids soon. I felt I had to stay put in an enjoyable but no progression job for the maternity pay and going back part time. (No pressure from anyone else, just me!) Then covid hit and I got made redundant - didn't include that in the plan.

Worked out well in the end and I'm now more senior than I've ever been but I know I could have done it years ago if I'd have pushed myself. Feel like I'm playing catch up with my peers but am lucky I love what I do.

Don't feel pressured to have more than one child (or any!) we're one and done and love it even if MIL keeps asking if I've had the urge for another one yet

You will feel more tired and less impressed with things when you get into your forties. The child in you will start to fade, so enjoy your youth whilst you still have it.

Honestly most women in their thirties seem to know what they're doing?

@VaccineSticker

Re pension: Retirement age will probably be 85 by the time you retire.

I would think of investing it somewhere else where you can have direct control over your own money. But I can see why people don’t want to get into that, as most have no idea where to start and how to do it.

It really won't. The vast majority of people cant work full time till 86.

Enjoy every minute of your 30’s as it’s all downhill from the age of 45!

Enjoy every minute of your 30’s as it’s all downhill from the age of 45!

This is so depressing.

@inmyslippers

What advice would you give to women in their 30s

None, unless they asked. Now, where's my fee?

@RedPandaWanda

Enjoy every minute of your 30’s as it’s all downhill from the age of 45!

I don't think this has to be true, every stage of life has good and bad points, awful experiences and amazing experiences can happen at any age!

@RoyalFamilyFan they used to say the same thing about 70 yo in the past. People are living longer than before.