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Original poster

I'm waiting for the police to call.

267 replies

grecianurn82 · 25/12/2021 10:40

Sorry for bringing the mood down but i don't feel like i can talk to anyone in real life yet. To cut a long story short I haven't heard from my ex sunce Tuesday, we have 2 young children sonthis is very out of character. His phone appears to be off for the last 24 hours. He has adult children who text me this morning concerned as they hadn't heard from him. They've asked the police to call to do a welfare check. We're waiting for news. Its surreal, I'm here with the kids and their presents knowing that there's a good chance something awful has happened. Their dad wouldnt be in good health and has a history of addiction issues. I don't know why I'm posting, I've told my mum but I'm playing down how worried i am as she has family there and she's busy.

OP posts:
Nillynally · 25/12/2021 11:05

2 days is ridiculous! Hand holding x

DixieSun · 25/12/2021 11:05

Can someone else go and check on him? Hopefully he's lost his phone or something

Original poster
grecianurn82 · 25/12/2021 11:07

@PurplePansy05 he would have spent Christmas alone except for a couple of hours with me and our kids. He was quite isolated, doesnt get on with his family, doesn't really have friends.

OP posts:
SilverOtter · 25/12/2021 11:07

What are the police playing at? If he's unconscious, how would leaving him for 2 days help?! Surely you have reasonable grounds to believe that he might have come to harm.

Praying for you all and hoping your situation has a happy endingSad

Original poster
grecianurn82 · 25/12/2021 11:08

@DixieSun no one has keys to get in. There are 2 doors to get through, his own appartment door and then the main door out to the street. No bell or buzzer system at the front door.

OP posts:
LaBellina · 25/12/2021 11:13

I’m so sorry OP. You have done everything you could and now you have to wait for the professionals to step in. Hope it won’t be as you fear….have a handhold from me xxx

Winniemarysarah · 25/12/2021 11:14

Fingers crossed for you everything’s ok :/

Genegenieee · 25/12/2021 11:15

This sounds worrying, I can't believe the police won't act. I hope OP he's ok and you hear from him soon

Sunshineandrainbow · 25/12/2021 11:15

Thinking of you Flowers

Original poster
grecianurn82 · 25/12/2021 11:15

Thanks so much everyone. I don't want to bother friends/family until i know more so i appreciate the support so much x

OP posts:
LemonViolet · 25/12/2021 11:16

Maybe ring the bells for the other apartments in the building, ask if they’ve seen or heard anything, and for the landlords phone number? They’d have a key? Disclaimer - no idea about the legality of that but in extreme circumstances needs must

RagzReturnedUnwrapped · 25/12/2021 11:16

Tell the police he was feeling suicidal. They'll have to break in then...

youvegottenminuteslynn · 25/12/2021 11:18

I agree with telling them he has previously spoken of hurting himself and has never gone no contact for this length of time before. I'm really shocked they are saying two days to force entry, you poor thing Thanks

BrideofAberdeen · 25/12/2021 11:19

I am so sorry, I have no advice but I hope the police will reconsider - it sounds like someone needs to go round today xxxx

maddiemookins16mum · 25/12/2021 11:19

Are you in the UK?

HangingOver · 25/12/2021 11:22

What kind of addiction issues OP? Possibly he's gone on a bender and is ashamed to come back just yet. Has he got form for disappearing and taking a few days to come back to earth? Handholding ❤️

CornishTiger · 25/12/2021 11:22

Hi OP. Police need to be treating him as a high risk missing person. Remind them of that. History of addiction issues, low mood, acting out of character and not seeing his children Christmas Day.

Police can force the door, they can also ask the landlord to drill it if concerns for welfare- there will be an out of hours emergency contact they can use.

They can also ping his phone and see when last used.

Natsku · 25/12/2021 11:25

Do the police know of his addiction issues and ill health? Might they just be assuming he's a normal healthy adult and waiting two days on that basis but perhaps might act sooner if they knew there were addiction issues so possibility of overdose? I would call them again and stress this. And I really hope the worst hasn't happened OP, hopefully he will make contact soon.

goingpearshaped · 25/12/2021 11:25

No wise words but listening to how difficult this is and sending love. I can't believe you have to wait another two days.

Original poster
grecianurn82 · 25/12/2021 11:26

@HangingOver it's alcohol addiction. I wasn't concerned for the first couple of days for that exact reason but this long is really out of character. Even if he couldn't physically see us, he would usually check in with a text after a day or two.

OP posts:
IncompleteSenten · 25/12/2021 11:27

Phone the police back and say he needs a welfare check. Point out that if they wait 2 days and find he has died when he would have survived had they attended when first told - then you expect that his family will certainly make a public complaint.

Original poster
grecianurn82 · 25/12/2021 11:28

@Natsku i made sure i told them about his addiction but they seem to gone in the other direction with it and figured he just drinking or hungover 🙄

OP posts:
cafenoirbiscuit · 25/12/2021 11:28

You poor love. I’m hoping he’s ok and sending a hand hold x

Toolatebaby · 25/12/2021 11:30

Really hoping this turns out OK for you,
Can someone drive over?

HangingOver · 25/12/2021 11:30

Ah I see why you're worried grecianurn82.

Speaking as a drunk, Christmas is certainly one of those times of year that you occasionally feel the need to drink for four days straight. Has he been any better or worse than usual? Really sorry. Addiction is such a cruel beast, for everyone. I agree with PP I think saying you think he may have harmed himself might be a good shout.