What was the biggest shock after having a baby?

[Thefaceofboe]

Mine was that babies don’t necessarily go to bed around 7pm. I always presumed bath and bed would be done at 7pm and baby would wake up for the day at 7am. My 3mo does 11pm - 11am

I honestly, and so, so naively thought your body completely returned to its pre pregnancy state, weight everything almost instantly. So you walked out of the hospital just like you were 9 months ago! 😆 Well, was I surprised!! Felt like I'd actually been involved in some sort of horrific accident, DS is 10.5 and I'm still not back to my pre pregnancy body!!

How like tiny old people they are.

How much suffering there is in adjusting to a terrestrial existence. The switch from aquatic is very hard.

That they don't come with a manual. You're just expected to leave hospital and get on with it with no instructions. We got home, put the car seat on the coffee table with DD sleeping inside and just looked at each other and said, 'Now what?' 😂

@Quornflakegirl

The pain of your uterus contracting AFTER the birth, no one told me about that!

How slowly a premature baby takes to feed, it literally could take Holland hour and having premature twins meant 30 minutes sleep between feeds for me. I honestly thought I was going to die.

The realisation that this responsibility was forever was also a shock, I knew this beforehand but didn’t actually KNOW it until the lonely hours of night feeds. I cried.

I had premature twins too and remember the measly 30 minute gap between feeds once both babies had been fed - bloody tough! 🥴

Never being left alone for a second by your child but never feeling so alone at the same time.
Also never ever being able to just pop to the shops for a few bits it’s a full on mission to get them either in the pram or car and sometimes I’d rather just go without what I needed to get 🙈

It took me four weeks to learn how to breastfeed. Day one I felt smug and cocky and thought this was easyyyyy peasyyyyy. Day two she'd obviously sussed out that she needed to up my supply massively and hit me with an ELEVEN HOUR cluster feeding marathon. Eleven. Fucking. Hours. I thought I was going to die.

I feel you. On the day of Harry and Megan's wedding (it wasn't their fault ;) ) my then newborn fed 28 times in 24 hours (obviously I was tracking on an app to be in control of the situation...). 28! I was like a dried prune at the end of that.

Another early thing that really surprised me as a pre-child sort of disbeliever in "nature" in favour of "nurture" was being in a big noisy family pub where a football match was being screened. DH had 7 week old baby at our table some way away from the bar where I'd gone to get us drinks. Suddenly, I heard my baby crying and it cut through all the noise in the pub like a film sound effect where they silence all other noise. It felt like hours watching the barstaff pour our drinks whilst rational me knew that baby was with DH and so absolutely fine for a few minutes and my maternal soul was being shredded hearing that cry and not being with them immediately.

@Catmother20

Never being left alone for a second by your child but never feeling so alone at the same time. Also never ever being able to just pop to the shops for a few bits it’s a full on mission to get them either in the pram or car and sometimes I’d rather just go without what I needed to get 🙈

Oh god this!

I remember going 2 days without paracetamol because like fuck was I trekking out with a 4 week old that shit as soon as I put him in th scar seat then requires a breastfeed for 30 minutes to restore the balance and a 16 month old who was feeling so put out he’d just whine or cry unless cuddling me.

How the fuck can I drive post c section whilst feeding DS2 and cuddling DS1.

I’ll just sit in pain thanks hun

The recovery period. I was so focused on the labour that I didn’t really consider it. I knew about post partum bleeding but I thought it was just like having a long period. I wasn’t expecting that I’d feel like I’d been hit by a bus. My whole body ached! Took me at least 6 weeks to feel normal again.

Oh and also that my son would sometimes fall asleep with his eyes open, and his eyes would unfocus and roll back. It was so creepy the first few times!

At 4 weeks in I’d say that breastfeeding is akin to declawing a feral kitten.

That after a vaginal birth you can’t laugh, cough or cry without feeling like your vagina is ripping in two. I had a second degree tear, so I don’t know if that was a factor. I’d heard to press a pillow to my scar if I’d had a c-section so just assumed a vaginal birth wouldn’t have that issue.

How blasé the midwives are. Between the clots, blood loss and after contractions it felt like my uterus was falling out. They were concerned if I was soaking a pad in 30 minutes or the blood clots were bigger than a 50p.

The tiredness was next level. I needed a blood transfusion after the birth of DD1 due to large blood loss and extremely low levels of iron. So that, coupled with normal lack of sleep due to feeding, nappies etc. was a killer.

That you will never feel carefree ever, ever again.

How swollen your vag is after. First baby - i wasn't too bad. 2nd OH MY GOD. waddled everywhere for a while 🤣

How much pain I was in after birth and how immobile I felt. I couldn’t walk properly for 2 days and I had a vaginal birth! Absolute props to those who had c-sections.

I’m pregnant with my second, I really hope she’s as chilled as my first DD. Slept through from 8 weeks. Barely cried and would go to anyone. I doubt I’ll be as lucky this time.

Another vote for cluster feeding. I had no idea how intense it would be or for how long.

I also thought a baby would naturally wean themselves off breastfeeding by 12 months. I now have a 19 month old who still breastfeeds loads and apparently the normal age for natural weaning is closer to 3!

That your hair falls out a lot about 4 months after baby is born.

How terrifying pooing is after childbirth. If you are currently pregnant, please stock up on lactulose and dulcoease. Don’t leave it until after the birth to get some. I ended up with a pile from trying to pop postnatally, rather than from the actual birth…

How fun it was. I was conditioned to believe that babies were something tonput off for as long as possible. I was shocked that ao much of it was awesome fun.

Wish I’d started at age 24 and had six kids 😔

Oh and the after pains when feeding your 2nd, 3rd and 4th babies. They definitely got worse with each baby.

I knew they woke up a lot in the night to be fed etc but I never really knew that they would spend so long refusing to go to sleep in the first place. I expected to be woken up a lot, I didn’t expect to be awake for so long.

Feeding

Oh my god. DD and I took 8 weeks to establish breastfeeding. Along the way we had bottles, formula, SNS, pumping. It. Was. Hell. I had max 1-2hrs between feeds to sleep for weeks. I don't cope well on not enough sleep and it definitely stopped me loving her for a long time.... which obviously made me even more insistent on bfing so we could 'bond'. GAH!

About to have DC2 and I'm dreading it being so hard again.

@Thefaceofboe

omg you bleed after a c section?! Why?? Am I really thick?!

Something to do with the uterus lining once the placenta has been removed. I did ask the midwife but can’t remember exactly what she said. I bleed for 4 weeks after my c section which Ive been told is pretty good compared to some women

I had zero blood after both my c sections. But enormously heavy first periods. Like, can't buy enough pads heavy.

Also: how fucking expensive everything is. Especially basic things like actual decent sensitive skin baby wash / cream etc. And that just gets worse as they get older!

That you come home from the hospital with a baby and just get on with it. An actual human baby - the most precious thing in the world and it's just "see ya - have fun". (I was having the day 3 baby blues and may have had a good blub at this point).

The bone tiredness. Bone. Deep. And you have to just get on with it.

Feeling a bit sorry for all the other mothers with babies not quite as beautiful as mine.

Mine was the bombshell after the second baby that just because the first one is a sleeper the second one won’t necessarily be.
Routine the same, cuddles the same etc. Number one slept through by eight weeks, then wake for a feed at 7ish and go back to sleep. The second does not sleep, unless on my chest. Then we wake each other. What I would give for a solid nights sleep.

The tiredness. I well remember being so exhausted that I couldn’t form a sentence.

How much effort it took to leave the house, even going to the local shops had to be planned with military precision.