Champagne and MIL

[HermioneAndRoger]

I know this is very much a first-world problem so no snarky comments to that effect, please.

All being well we hope to have a few family members here for Christmas. My brother works in the wine industry and it is a bit of a tradition that he gets hold of a nice bottle of champagne for a toast at family celebrations. This year he has excitedly told me that he has got hold of something really special that he sourced in 2020 and has been carefully storing ever since.

My very lovely MIL does not drink wine because it gives her terrible headaches. This is absolutely fine with everyone and honestly nobody gives it a second thought. We always offer her an alternative which she usually accepts but she insists on being given a glass of Champagne along with everyone else and then always tips it down the sink or into a plant pot when she thinks no-one is looking. I saw her do it once and have noticed it every time since. I know this isn't a big deal in the grand scheme of things but the waste really irritates me and I just don't understand why she does it. She would be mortified if I said anything but equally the champagne is a rare and special treat for the rest of us and I do not want to see another glass go to my peace lily. Is there anything kind or diplomatic I can do about this? I have tried offering a mimosa / Buck's Fizz in the past to minimise the waste without success.

Pour a much smaller amount into her glass?

I would pass her an alternative while it's being poured, I'm the type who would make a point though.

Give her some appletizer in a flute instead.

Or give her the champagne and tell her that as you know she won’t drink it, to pass it to you and you will drink it on her behalf.

I would pour in a another room, open a bottle of cheaper Prosecco or cava at the same time (which can undoubtedly be used as well, whether in a cocktail or on its own!), and pour one of those for her. She will be none the wiser.

Don't pour in front of her. Unveil the bottle, exclaim over it, take it into another room (kitchen?) to pour, and bring her back a small glass of prosecco. If she doesn't drink, she won't know the difference.

Pour it out of her sight, and give her a glass of Schloer or appletizer.

That would really piss me off. I would pour it in another room and replace hers with something else. If that's not possible I honestly think I would say something, or get dh too

Yep, agree with the others to just pour her something else

Wondering why the brother “sourced” this champagne and didn’t just buy it though….

I agree, poor it out of sight and give her some non alcoholic fizz instead.

Very definitely pour it in another room or use some sleight of hand. The stupid waste would really annoy me too.

Deploy the stunt bubbles

I recently was given mcguigan zero at a wedding as the bride and groom don't drink. By far the most realistic alcohol free fizz I've ever had, I would do as others have said and just pour her one in a separate room

I'm irrationally angry at your MIL and I don't even know her

Really, does it matter if it goes down her throat or into a flower pot?. No. It makes no odds to you. It’s a tiny issue, don’t rock the boat. Pour her a slightly smaller glass.

@ShirleyPhallus

Yep, agree with the others to just pour her something else

Wondering why the brother “sourced” this champagne and didn’t just buy it though….

It was a gift from a producer that he works with. The retail price is, I believe, beyond his budget (and mine).

Stunt bubbles might be the way to go!

She probably likes being part of it, toasting and all that.

Personally I'd just pour her one small glass and if she doesn't drink it, she doesn't drink it. It's probably nicer for her to feel included than to have a fuss made over a separate drink. For me, that's more important than throwing away or you minesweeping a single 100ml glass. Even if it is good champagne (and I really like good champagne too!).

Schloer or appletizer is your friend and dont tell her!

Stare at her, unblinking, until she drinks it.
All of it.
Every drop.

I'm kidding, yeah, give her Schloer OR try & take the attitude that it makes zero difference to you or anyone else whether the booze is drunk or in a flower pot. She obviously gets something from 'having her glass' although my mind boggles why she wouldn't just pass it on.

Yep pour in another room and give her cava. I wouldn’t waste expensive champagne on someone who wasn’t going to enjoy it or even try it either.

Stunt Bubbles . I dont like champagne though wouldn't throw it away...I'd be happy for stunt bubbles

@NightmareSlashDelightful what people are saying though is give her a substitute but don't let her know it's any different. That way she does feel included just the same, but doesn't waste something she clearly doesn't actually want, which is very costly and would be appreciated by others.

Whatever you give her, it’ll be wasted won’t it? Cheap or expensive, sourced or bought, carefully stored or just kept…

I would tell her, in front of everyone, that it’s really expensive stuff that all of the rest of you would love to have more of if you could have had a second bottle of it. Ask her if she will drink it or if she would prefer something non-alcoholic to toast with. Her behaviour is embarrassing TO HER.

Doing this stealth pouring of something else is really sly (as it tipping booze into a plant pot). And wasting food is wasting food. You’re all adults, just be honest. What’s her problem?

My mum used to do this. It didn't matter to us as much as we only had cheap champagne. She like to be part of the toasts and clinking of glasses. Since there have been children in the family, who like to clink their flutes too, we use Appletiser and mum has that instead of champagne.

Either give her something else, as we do, or just pour a mouthful into the glass so that you aren't wasting much. Perhaps she doesn't realise that the champagne is so expensive?