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Original poster

Champagne and MIL

133 replies

HermioneAndRoger · 18/12/2021 16:24

I know this is very much a first-world problem so no snarky comments to that effect, please.

All being well we hope to have a few family members here for Christmas. My brother works in the wine industry and it is a bit of a tradition that he gets hold of a nice bottle of champagne for a toast at family celebrations. This year he has excitedly told me that he has got hold of something really special that he sourced in 2020 and has been carefully storing ever since.

My very lovely MIL does not drink wine because it gives her terrible headaches. This is absolutely fine with everyone and honestly nobody gives it a second thought. We always offer her an alternative which she usually accepts but she insists on being given a glass of Champagne along with everyone else and then always tips it down the sink or into a plant pot when she thinks no-one is looking. I saw her do it once and have noticed it every time since. I know this isn't a big deal in the grand scheme of things but the waste really irritates me and I just don't understand why she does it. She would be mortified if I said anything but equally the champagne is a rare and special treat for the rest of us and I do not want to see another glass go to my peace lily. Is there anything kind or diplomatic I can do about this? I have tried offering a mimosa / Buck's Fizz in the past to minimise the waste without success.

OP posts:
Hen2018 · 18/12/2021 17:08

It is stolen? Surely people just buy champagne, not mysteriously “source” it?

Chloemol · 18/12/2021 17:14

Just give her a non alcoholic version on the QT

MindyStClaire · 18/12/2021 17:15

@ThroughThickAndThin01

Really, does it matter if it goes down her throat or into a flower pot?. No. It makes no odds to you. It’s a tiny issue, don’t rock the boat. Pour her a slightly smaller glass.
Exactly this. Think of it as her portion to do with as she wishes. Not what I'd do with champagne but there you go.

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LiterallyKnowsBest · 18/12/2021 17:19

Your brother needs to start sourcing biodynamic champagne - that’s much less likely to give anyone a headache.

Roundeartheratchriatmas · 18/12/2021 17:21

Ugh I’d not be giving her expensive champagne to waste. Can’t stand the stuff myself but I’d never do what she’s doing.

I’d have a juice instead.

I’d give her schlor or a cheap substitute.

Original poster
HermioneAndRoger · 18/12/2021 17:25

@Hen2018

It is stolen? Surely people just buy champagne, not mysteriously “source” it?
What? No. DB is a buyer for a wine retailer. His salary is modest but as a major perk he is periodically given very nice bottles by producers, or has the opportunity to buy excess stock etc at very good prices. It means that from time to time he can treat us to something that we couldn't normally afford and whilst several pp are much nicer people than me and wouldn't be bothered by the waste, it really irritates me when MIL is so cavalier about it.

Stealth bubbles are clearly the way to go but I am going to have to recruit an accomplice to help me.

OP posts:
2bazookas · 18/12/2021 17:34

Whoever pours keeps their back to everyone else and fills one glass with some sparkling water for MIL.

MindyStClaire · 18/12/2021 17:35

I know it's irritating, but everyone does something that irritates others and I'm sure you do things that MIL turns a blind eye to. Imagine how embarrassed she'd be if she realised she was given the cheap stuff while everyone else had the real stuff. Even more insulting when it's for a toast. It's not worth it, Just let it go.

Scandisaurus · 18/12/2021 17:47

Give her something else, and when you see her pour it in the plant pot tell her your plant doesn’t drink champagne but the rest of you do.

MissyB1 · 18/12/2021 17:50

Fuck that would annoy me!! Champagne is too bloody lovely to be wasted! I’m in the stunt bubbles camp.

Mummyoflittledragon · 18/12/2021 17:50

Does she not like alcohol or would she drink the sweet stuff! Maybe ask her if she likes babycham. If she does, you could order the tiny bottles.

Original poster
HermioneAndRoger · 18/12/2021 18:02

@Mummyoflittledragon

Does she not like alcohol or would she drink the sweet stuff! Maybe ask her if she likes babycham. If she does, you could order the tiny bottles.
She does drink - usually gin and tonic. Wine just doesn’t agree with her and she wouldn’t accept a glass under any other circumstances but for some reason she insists on the champagne. I think pp are right about wanting to feel included; I have offered g&t or a gin or vodka based cocktail in a flute before now but she wasn’t keen.
OP posts:
SisyphusDad · 18/12/2021 18:10

Stunt bubbles? Nah.

Surely bubble doubles.

IKnowAPlace · 18/12/2021 18:14

She's so rude! That's hugely wasteful even if it's just a glass of wine.

I'd just do as PPs have suggested and pour elsewhere, give her a special glass of something different.

LookItsMeAgain · 18/12/2021 18:23

@HermioneAndRoger

Stunt bubbles might be the way to go!
I love that! Stunt Bubbles!!!! Grin Grin
Abraxan · 18/12/2021 18:25

@Hen2018

It is stolen? Surely people just buy champagne, not mysteriously “source” it?
Depends on his job - many people are given bottles for Christmas gifts, and sometimes at other occasions too.

Though that would me 'gifted' rather than 'sourced.'
Sources suggests he went out researching options and selecting a specific one.

Abraxan · 18/12/2021 18:26

DB is a buyer for a wine retailer.

In that case I can see why the word 'sourced' is being used.
Sounds like his job is sourcing wine for a company.

ChristmasRobins · 18/12/2021 18:27

“She would be mortified if I said anything” - she’ll also be mortified if she realises you’ve given her something else, which she is very likely to do. It obviously gives her pleasure to be included so I’d just pour her a slightly smaller glass. It’s really not worth risking upset about.

BobbieT1999 · 18/12/2021 18:31

I really wouldn't get hung up on this.
It's Christmas, where people are more important than champagne.

If it makes her feel included then why judge?

boomboom1234 · 18/12/2021 18:32

As it's only one bottle you are all only getting a taste anyway so I can't see why you are so bothered. It's the difference of one extra sip each. Just chill.

RJnomore1 · 18/12/2021 18:35

She’s being ridiculous.

Have you tried telling her you know she pours the drink away as you have seen her and that is x amount per bottle?

CheddarGorgeous · 18/12/2021 18:39

I just wouldn't share champagne when she's around.

TooWicked · 18/12/2021 18:41

I remember SIL insisting her daughter who was 14 or 15 at the time should be given a glass of champagne when the family came over to us on Christmas morning.

I watched her take a mouthful and spit it back into the glass and as well as being disgusted by her manners I was fuming that she’d wasted about £20 worth of champagne.

She and SIL both only get given cava now.

Pangolin44 · 18/12/2021 18:42

Just give her the champagne, her 125ml divided by the rest of you is only going to be a mouthful each anyway.

It's symbolic, and she clearly enjoys the ritual. I think it's quite mean to substitute it for something else without telling her. That feels very underhand for something that makes very little material difference to you.

RJnomore1 · 18/12/2021 18:48

@HermioneAndRoger could you give us a ballpark for the value of the champagne?

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