Things you can’t resist answering in the same way each time you hear? (Light hearted thread)

[Wouldcouldcantwont]

Hi I’ve just found myself responding to the end of a song and I realise there’s a couple of things I HAVE to reply to each time.

At the end of Cuntry Boys & City Girls (correct spelling!) by the Fratellis a little voice says “Thanks for listening” and I have to say “You’re welcome”. Also, every time a character on Holby or Casualty uses the defibrillator and says “shocking” I reply “isn’t it?”. The family thinks there’s something wrong if miss one.

I’m hoping that I’m not the only person who has these replies!

Any version of "that's not my/your xxx" is followed by "it's too [insert random adjective]" as per the usbourne baby books.

"At the end of the day" must be met with "you're another day older" (les mis)

“Jesus Christ” is replied …. It’s Jason bourne

A very niche one between me and DP but our fave Bourne one to quote is, “You're in a big puddle of shit, Pamela, and you don't have the shoes for it.”

@Kerzehmet

If my husband says 'got the keys?' On the way out I have to say 'got the secret' I know it's technically not how the song goes but 🤷🏻‍♀️

My husband says 'got the keys' and I have to say 'got the keys?' as per the friends episode

I love sharing a lift, when the floor is announced I say “ladies lingerie” (from Are you being served?)

Every time DH and I get in a car together to go somewhere we misquote the Blues Brothers eg:

“It’s 18 miles to Skipton, it’s dark and we’re wearing sunglasses”
“Hit it”

Anyone who is putting away a frying pan must wave it around and offer everyone else an “Omlette?” in the style of Gwen from Gavin and Stacey.

If a pee falls off your plate, we shout, escapeeeeeea!

Or, look, so and so has pee'd on the table

@HollysBush

I love sharing a lift, when the floor is announced I say “ladies lingerie” (from Are you being served?)

We always say "wigs and haberdashery - going up" - although not when other people are around as most wouldn't have a clue where it was from

@Notfastjustfurious

Everytime my kids ask what we're doing tomorrow /the weekend etc I answer 'same thing we do everyday, plan to take over the world!!' they instantly regret asking

Mr Grimbledon does this too.

The same thing we plan to do every day Pinky...

Are we there yet? Yes, off you go. See you later. While on the motorway. (To adult ds, no risk to children)
Ex dp started every sentence with y'know. No, sorry, I don't.
Always arguing with the sat nav...

@dickyduckydido

As well as many already mentioned, any mention of Jamaica gets met with 'No, she went of her own accord!'

A meringue

No you were right the first time

(For all the Scots)

If we're having eggs at breakfast or anytime really, I say

"eggs again, I'll be bound".

I'll have a piece of toast...... is answered.....

Watch the evening news

replied with rather

@penguinwithasuitcase

It's a bit more general than some of these, but whenever DP and I say something is X, the other one will respond, "No YOU'RE X!"

Example:

"Oh look at that, isn't that beautiful?"
"No, YOU"'RE beautiful"

or

"It must have been 10 feet tall!"
"No, YOU'RE 10 feet tall"

or

"That was the biggest banana I've ever seen"
"YOU'RE the biggest banana I've ever seen"

It's utterly childish and ridiculous but sometimes it makes us cry laughing

Ha ha ha we do this!!! so ridiculous

Alastair Campbell.....
(Has, five humps)

Sometimes I forget that Other People can hear me say that out loud !

Any mention of innuendo gets the retort "in your endo!

Any overly wonderful speech (or Bible passage, or grandiose statement) gets the addendum "which is nice"

Just realised I have more...

On leaving the house, it's often to the phrases "Let's boo-boo!" (From World's End) or "Let's go to work" (except growled in a Reservoir Dogs fashion and you have to say 'woik')

We do the 'That's how we do it in medieval Scotland' from Horrible Histories when any job seems a bit confusing ... then followed by singing 'I'll take the high road' theme tune in a very bad warbling Scottish accent

My 8 year old likes tacos but prefers the crispy shells to the 'boat' type ones you can get. It's his favourite meal so he asks for it a fair bit. He always specifies "tacos in a hard shell" and I always have to say "turtle power!"

Should probably clarify, "heroes in a half shell, Turtle power!" Was the theme tune to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon in the 90s...

whenever someone says 'manifesto 'on the telly
we have to sing 'I like a manifesto, put it to the test o'

(from the Sultans of Ping song 'where's me jumper')

Also, whenever Diane Abbot is on the news, we always repeat it like they do on Dead Ringers: “Diane AAAAbbot”

Whenever DH does a particularly deep and sonorous burp, I have to say "Must be on the river tonight."