Things you can’t resist answering in the same way each time you hear? (Light hearted thread)

[Wouldcouldcantwont]

Hi I’ve just found myself responding to the end of a song and I realise there’s a couple of things I HAVE to reply to each time.

At the end of Cuntry Boys & City Girls (correct spelling!) by the Fratellis a little voice says “Thanks for listening” and I have to say “You’re welcome”. Also, every time a character on Holby or Casualty uses the defibrillator and says “shocking” I reply “isn’t it?”. The family thinks there’s something wrong if miss one.

I’m hoping that I’m not the only person who has these replies!

"What I like to call a light lunch"
"It IS a light lunch" (thanks Miranda)

Amazing how many times that comes up.

Also can't resist joining in with "This is the news with Claaare Runacres."

I’ve incorporated the IT crowd into daily parlance. I avoid funerals.

This is the most uplifting thread I've read in ages

If the name 'Arthur' comes up in conversation, it must be followed by an impression of Olive from 'On the Buses'

Awwfahh! Awwfahh! Awwfahh ...

When I say I’m going to wash my hair DH asks “upper or lower”, and I say both.

If either of us asks if the other if we want a cup of tea we always say it in a 40 a day smoker’s voice with Lancashire accent - I have no idea why.

We do loads of these! It's nice to think we're all spouting this shit up and down the country hahaha. I also love that our DCs are joining in even though they're too young to remember the originals. Keeping the traditions going lol.

If I'm in a department store, or supermarket, or any shop that sells womens underwear I say "it's the largest lingerie department in "town name" I understand. Then have a discussion on who has the most boring voice to do an announcement on the tannoy.

Also if someone has changed jobs etc I say "I hear you're a ..... now, father"

Every horse is My Lovely Horse.

I also do I've got the key, I've got the secret.

It's cold outside, there's no kind of atmosphere.

It's getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes.

I could go on, and on, and on. I'm not sure I have a conversation without quoting a film, tv show or a song.

If someone says rap or wrap in a sentence DH and I will say “did someone say rap?” and start rapping (badly). We think we’re hilarious but the DC don’t.

@howdoibegintodeal One of my other regulars is "they killed her, and stole her pen!" whenever I think someone's exaggerating. 😂

@BigBamBoom "What I call..." is a regular in this house, in spite of being an American house! My husband loves Miranda even though he doesn't always get it. He frequently does "Good word, plinth." Or whatever the word du jour is.

@SilentBob You'll probably appreciate one of my frequent retorts "Bitch, what you don't know about me cab just about squeeze in the Grand f'ing Canyon."

Glad we aren’t the only family where “where’s the such-and-such?” is met with “up your bum”. Although it’s specifically “up your bum on the second shelf” in our house.

I have loads that I say all the time, mostly relating to Red Dwarf, and I'm pretty sure it's annoying to be around me.

When someone asks me to do something, I respond, "Okey dokey, said Pokey".

Only today my husband, after 25 years, asked me what the hell that means.

It led to a two-hour rabbit hole of videos of Gumby, the American clay animation tv show from the 50's & 60's. He learned something new today. 😝

@ALightThatNeverGoesOut

We do loads of these! It's nice to think we're all spouting this shit up and down the country hahaha. I also love that our DCs are joining in even though they're too young to remember the originals. Keeping the traditions going lol.

Completely agree. I've found my people!

@BlueBloodedBlue

The only response to "I can't do it" is " course you can Malcolm"

Any use of the word Fashion, is followed by "turn to the left"

Oh that reminds me, if my kids say "I can't do it" the correct response is "you can fly orville"

I'm not even sure why that's in my head though, I was only born in 1984 so it's almost before my time 😂

If someone hesitates and is a bit evasive we say WE DIDN’T BURN HIM!!!!!!! or Wolves did it!!.

If anyone says 'im not feeling myself' i always mutter well at least thats one bad habit stopped. My mum used to always say it 😊

Grrr is always followed with Arg, like the zombie thing at the end of Buffy.

Got the keys here is followed by 'got the key-eys?' as in Friends

Garlic bread? Needs no explaining!

My DD and I do this. If she says 'And I say to myself...' I always have to say 'What a wonderful world'. Or if I say 'Yesterday....' she says 'All my troubles seemed so far away'.

When the self service till says "Thank you for shopping at Tesco" I usually reply with "You're very welcome".

What's for dinner?
Cat and chips.

Every day, without fail. Even when it's blindingly obvious what's cooking.

We are clearly not as original in this house as we thought we were!

Mayonnaise is always said as "May-oh-nayyyz" a la the lieutenant in An Officer and a Gentleman.

If I'm watching a cookery programme and someone says "shallots" I have to say "that's shallot"! Even when I am alone...

If there is a box we have to say “What’s in the box……WHAT’S IN THE BOXXXX???? “ like Brad Pitt in Se7en.

If anyone ever introduces me to or talks about someone called Alice, I focus on trying not to shout, ’Alice? Alice? Who the fudge is Alice?’ .. (not fudge)

You are all me!

If giving my name for official purposes and anyone confirms the middle initial by asking 'Is that S for sugar' I immediately respond with 'No, Sarah actually' and then piss myself laughing.

If I were the other person, I'd be pissing myself laughing with you!

Anyone says ‘happy as Larry’ I have to say ‘couldn’t not be happier’ as said by the bold Marvin from The Scheme.

Could not*

It's a bit more general than some of these, but whenever DP and I say something is X, the other one will respond, "No YOU'RE X!"

Example:

"Oh look at that, isn't that beautiful?"
"No, YOU"'RE beautiful"

or

"It must have been 10 feet tall!"
"No, YOU'RE 10 feet tall"

or

"That was the biggest banana I've ever seen"
"YOU'RE the biggest banana I've ever seen"

It's utterly childish and ridiculous but sometimes it makes us cry laughing 

😂 we do loads of these... but always this, numerous times a day. Still funny!

Every time someone pressed the job ignition it sounds like the beat of the track ‘this beat is my recital..’ so we sing that. Every. Damn. Time. 😂