Things you can’t resist answering in the same way each time you hear? (Light hearted thread)

[Wouldcouldcantwont]

Hi I’ve just found myself responding to the end of a song and I realise there’s a couple of things I HAVE to reply to each time.

At the end of Cuntry Boys & City Girls (correct spelling!) by the Fratellis a little voice says “Thanks for listening” and I have to say “You’re welcome”. Also, every time a character on Holby or Casualty uses the defibrillator and says “shocking” I reply “isn’t it?”. The family thinks there’s something wrong if miss one.

I’m hoping that I’m not the only person who has these replies!

If my husband asks where he should put something then I always say “up your bum”

I have found my people!

Having spent many years responding to "Holiday?" with "Whippet!" (which is really old!), my Mum still sends me an email each year entitled "Whippet" to share details of their holiday/travel arrangements.

@LonglegsMumtheBlacksmith

If I'm watching a cookery programme and someone says "shallots" I have to say "that's shallot"! Even when I am alone...

It's not really saying something but sometimes at the end of a conversation we pretend to laugh and then freeze, like we're on the end credits of an old Murder She Wrote 🤦‍♀️

That's brilliant!

We do lots of these but my favourite at the moment is that DS often starts answering a question with "maybe it's because..." and I have to sing "Aaaaahhhm a Londiner" while doing a Dick Van Dyke jig every time. He says he hates it but then straight away will start to repeat his answer so we can end up doing this 10 times in a row before I just have to stop from laughing too much.

@FTEngineerM

Every time someone pressed the job ignition it sounds like the beat of the track ‘this beat is my recital..’ so we sing that. Every. Damn. Time. 😂

They say its very vital! So you all take turns with the lines or sing it as a chorus. I love that era RunDMC!

Me and my sisters have cinema based sayings, if we go to see a film and the cinema is empty, one us says "oh, I don't think we can sit together" in a sad voice. I don't know why we find it funny, but we do.

Whenever anyone mentions Jeremy Irons I always have to respond "does he?"

Any reference to pantomimes “oh no you’re not”/“oh no it isn’t”

Whenever one of my children says they're hungry, I reply with 'hello hungry, I'm MrFlippersPancake ...' it drives them crazy

@penguinwithasuitcase

It's a bit more general than some of these, but whenever DP and I say something is X, the other one will respond, "No YOU'RE X!"

Example:

"Oh look at that, isn't that beautiful?"
"No, YOU"'RE beautiful"

or

"It must have been 10 feet tall!"
"No, YOU'RE 10 feet tall"

or

"That was the biggest banana I've ever seen"
"YOU'RE the biggest banana I've ever seen"

It's utterly childish and ridiculous but sometimes it makes us cry laughing

Oh my goodness I had a partner who used to do this. It was so annoying! Another variation...

"You're x"
"Your Mum's x"

I have no sense of humour.

This one:

"I think I'm going deaf" (light hearted), any comment related to hearing.
"Pardon?"

Every time a newscaster finishes with 'And I'm Joe Bloggs..." in my head I always say "yes, I'm sure you are"
No idea why or where it came from!

Father Ted has a lot to answer for. If anyone ever mentions something being small we always chorus "or is it far away?'

We live in the south east and whenever we pass a sigh to Bracknell one of us will always say "a handbag?' in an outraged tone of voice.

There is one road we drive down occasionally with a very high railway bridge over it. It's compulsory to say "that's the worlds highest ever viaduct' as we drive past it. It's utter bollocks because it isn't even a viaduct but on a few occasions fellow travellers have believed us and been very impressed.

For some obscure reason, lost in the mists of time, when we drive over a humpbacked bridge DH shouts "Hold on to your hollyhocks'. There is one route we take where the old bridge has been replaced with a wider, flatter one but the tradition remains.

When Elaine Paige is warbling through Don't Cry For Me Argentina, there's a bit where she sings 'Have I said too much?' I always, always, reply 'Yes' in exactly the same note.

@CatNamedEaster

We do lots of these but my favourite at the moment is that DS often starts answering a question with "maybe it's because..." and I have to sing "Aaaaahhhm a Londiner" while doing a Dick Van Dyke jig every time. He says he hates it but then straight away will start to repeat his answer so we can end up doing this 10 times in a row before I just have to stop from laughing too much.

As well as many already mentioned, any mention of Jamaica gets met with 'No, she went of her own accord!'

After any garbled tannoy announcement, in a supermarket or on a station or something, we (my DParents and I) reply, "So you do that", which is Flanders and Swann, and very old!

(You can the hear the whole thing here, and the relevant quote is at around 3m45)

Spiky, I used to work for a guy who would sometimes speak really fast, and the faster he spoke, the harder it was to understand.
One day I was talking to his PA when he came out of his office and gobbled at her. She gave him a Paddington bear hard stare and said to me, "What did Horace say, Winnington?"

We were among the older employees in the office and had picked up the catchphrase from our parents.

*Winnie, not Winnington.

We used to live near(ish) a place called Sarratt, for no apparent reason we started saying, "One can not simply walk into Sarratt" every time we saw the sign. Which was fine until I got a job that took me that way every. single. day.

Knobjockey We do the Grrr..Argh! too
Too many years as Buffy fans!

One of the DCs will call Muuuuuuum! And I reply'I like it when you call me big Mama' they will all shout back 'put your hands in the air if you're a true playa!'

Reminds me of Dm
How long is dinner? 6 inches
What’s for dinner? Duck, under the table

If anyone says "At the end of the day..." I always interject with "It's midnight?"
This is mostly reserved for my kids but if they complain about anything I deem petty I answer them in an Inbetweeners style such as if they claim to be tired or have a headache if I ask them to do something I go "Oh no not tired!?" or "Oh no not a headache..." but in a sarky squeaky voice.
I've probably not explained it well.