Things you can’t resist answering in the same way each time you hear? (Light hearted thread)

[Wouldcouldcantwont]

Hi I’ve just found myself responding to the end of a song and I realise there’s a couple of things I HAVE to reply to each time.

At the end of Cuntry Boys & City Girls (correct spelling!) by the Fratellis a little voice says “Thanks for listening” and I have to say “You’re welcome”. Also, every time a character on Holby or Casualty uses the defibrillator and says “shocking” I reply “isn’t it?”. The family thinks there’s something wrong if miss one.

I’m hoping that I’m not the only person who has these replies!

Every time anybody says "fucking hell", "I hope they do" just falls out of my mouth.

God, all of these. I must be incredibly annoying!!

Also any mention of Gordon Brown gets a reflex response of”texture like sun”.

I don’t know whether I’m amused by all of these or disappointed that clearly DH and I are not hilariously original

Whenever anyone says “box” it has to be followed by singing “cardboard box” (living in a box).

If someone says “naturally”, it has to be followed with “naturellement!” and a chortle in Basil Fawlty style.

I don’t know why, but whenever we get takeaway (always an app order) and it says “your rider is on the way” I have to sing that out loud to the tune of ‘groove is in the heart’

There are more, so very many more…

'I'm coming up' (usually as in upstairs, to bed) gets: 'So you'd better get this party started' in response in our house.

'Oh dear' gets ' Oh Dieu, oh Dieu, Oh Dieu ' which is a Jonathan Creek reference.

If there is a box we have to say “What’s in the box……WHAT’S IN THE BOXXXX???? “ like Brad Pitt in Se7en.

Many many of these...

Plus loads more I can't think of just at the moment, but I'll be backkk (in the appropriate voice)!!

Whenever anyone says a sentence which includes the phrase “all of a sudden…”

I have to interrupt and say: “a ruddy great puddin’ came flying through the air bum bum.”

My friend used to do it years ago and I caught it off her.

We also do the thing like a PP, where whatever bland or random thing someone says in our house, eg, “it’s lovely outside today.” Someone will always pipe up, “No YOU’RE lovely outside today.” I don’t know where that’s from, it’s a DD thing.

@ReeseWitherfork

There was a bit in How I Met Your Mother where two of the characters would salute every time someone said a military rank. "That's the general idea"... And they'd salute to 'General Idea.' Can never help myself.

Yup!! DH and I do this every time too! And for anything Major.

@LadyDanburysHat

Whenever my children ask what time is it, I used to answer with Chico Time, goes right over their heads as they are too young, but now it's 'Showtime' from Hamilton..

Now the DC when asking what I am doing and I say Work, they say work, Angelica, Eliza and Peggy, also Hamilton.

We answer, "Hammer time."

I do language Timothy I am also old.
If dd says "can you put my shoes/jumper on" I always say "they won't fit me!"
If someone says "can I just get in that drawer? " I say I doubt you'll fit!
"How long's tea?" Shows with fingers..."about that long!
Are they small or are they far away?
"Is that you Pesky?" No it's Old Nick

God I'm annoying!!!!

If anyone asks where anything is in our house the first reply they always get is "up your bum"

I'm sure most people would think it awful - but DC love it and it's a nice mood settler as often that's a rather annoying question.

The response to 'I'm off' is always 'thought I could smell something'

'I'm thirsty' is met with 'nice to meet you i' Friday'

We also do the key/secret thing. Every time.

I'm going to start doing more of these

When I get on a bus and say where I want to go and the driver says "single?" I have a massive battle with myself not to answer "no, but I'm open tonoffers"
I do not always win

To offers
Grrrr

Every time my husband bumps into a friens of mine called Denise he lets me know, so for example "Oh I bumped into Denise, she sends her love" and he looks at me expectantly until I said Denephew ... been doing it for years and I feel out of sorts if I don't say it. If someone in our house or family says "nothing" we all say "nothing? Nothing? Tra la la la!" (Labyrinth quote). Also if anyone asks what's for dinner they get told arsehole and chips

@PhantomErik

If someone says 'I'm off..'

I sing 'to see the wizard'

In this house the correct response to "I'm off" is "I thought there was a funny smell round here !"

You alright?
Down one side hehe
Also always say thank you I'll see you next Monday to the self service checkout when it thanks me.
And I can't say terror without mimicking krytron out of red dwarf 'terr orrrrr".

Any war films with the dialogue 'fire at will' get the response 'Poor Will'

Any mention of the kids trampolining centre 'Ibounce' gets the immediate response 'Do you?'.

As I'm reading these I'm either laughing or thinking 'we do that too'!

If giving my name for official purposes and anyone confirms the middle initial by asking 'Is that S for sugar' I immediately respond with 'No, Sarah actually' and then piss myself laughing.

I taught my DD to do one from being a toddler - if someone says something is wild (wild rice, wildly inappropriate, in the wild) I say "Wild??" and she says "It was furious!"

It's only 12+ years later I realised Inwas misquoting Rowan Atkinson and the correct response should be "livid". But it's stuck now!

We also do
"I'm off", "I wondered what the smell was";
"He was a nice man", "A very nice man. A very very nice man.";
"....dependable", "dependable, sensible, reliable, and lots of other words that end in -ible" (reorder to suit the starting word);
and "....five....", "how many fish? Five fish!"

If anyone ever introduces me to or talks about someone called Alice, I focus on trying not to shout, ’Alice? Alice? Who the fudge is Alice?’ .. (not fudge)

The only response to "I can't do it" is " course you can Malcolm"

Any use of the word Fashion, is followed by "turn to the left"

Bit of a regional accent one, but the only acceptable answer to ‘Where’s the bin?’ is ‘I ay bin nowhere. Where’s tha bin?’.

"There's somebody at the door" every time the doorbell rings....