Curious about (lack of) mat leave in USA. How do women cope?

[Ed1n]

Reading another thread about WFH with a newborn which got me thinking. I’m on mat leave and cannot imagine returning to work at twelve weeks, which is I understand, fairly typical (even best case) in US. Any stateside mumsnetters able to give insight into how long most women really take, what is childcare provision like etc?

It seems such a different set up! How do you breast feed, cope with sleep deprivation and decision making.

Googling suggests Estonia is the generous country for paid mat leave. USA the worst.

There’s a lot more SAHM.

I find the length of mat leave mentioned on mumsnet quite long. I went back at 5 months and carried on breastfeeding for another 3 years, felt at the time my mat leave was normal until I came on here! Sleep was an issue so Co slept for 3 years which helped. I would have found less than 4 months very challenging.

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz

Well it was only about 20 years ago or so that UK mat leave was typically 12 weeks.

My daughter is 17 (UK, I was a teacher at the time), I took 12 months off and I think that was the norm. So I'm not sure it's right about 12 weeks 20 years ago or so.

If I recall, in 2004 I got:

• 12 weeks full pay
• 12 weeks to 3 months at 90% pay
• 3 to 6 months at 50% pay
• 6 to 12 months at statutory maternity pay (which was around about £450 per month back then)

A big issue with this as well is that healthcare in the US is linked to your job.

Most insurance is from your work and no insurance = massive hospital bills.

Birth costs a fortune and as soon as baby is born it starts racking up its own medical bills.

Don't work - lose health insurance - can't pay the hospital bill.

For context my friend in the US had fairly straight forward pregnancy and c section delivery. Without insurance it would have cost $140,000!!! With insurance it cost her $5,000

I have friends in the US who are teachers.

She took accrued sick days for maternity leave, and the husband transferred his sick days to her as well for her to take.

It’s so sad!

@Allsloppy

I work for a USA company and took 6 weeks maternity leave although had to work partly during that 6 weeks. It is frowned upon to to take any time off.

That very much depends on the company. It's not an issue in my workplace, or many others.

Don't US workers only get a couple of weeks annual leave a year too??

@Twizbe

A big issue with this as well is that healthcare in the US is linked to your job.

Most insurance is from your work and no insurance = massive hospital bills.

Birth costs a fortune and as soon as baby is born it starts racking up its own medical bills.

Don't work - lose health insurance - can't pay the hospital bill.

For context my friend in the US had fairly straight forward pregnancy and c section delivery. Without insurance it would have cost $140,000!!! With insurance it cost her $5,000

Theoretically. In practice you can usually bargain down the bills if you have no insurance.

I was given a few weeks maternity leave, then took short term disability up to 12 weeks

Disability!!!

@jiggeryjaggerywoo

Don't US workers only get a couple of weeks annual leave a year too??

Depends on the company again. Vacation time is negotiable.

When I had my babies (uk) we had 3 months stat mat pay, topped up by employers if lucky, but if we wanted longer we topped up with annual leave or went unpaid. No one took more than 6 months. Plus if you had a career there was an expectation to get back to work. Babies started weaning at 12 weeks and usually slept through the night by 16 weeks.
Nurseries were geared up to take babies from 8/9 weeks as standard.

We didn't think we were missing out because everyone was in the same situation. I guess it's the same for those now who have less lengthy maternity leave than in the UK.

@jiggeryjaggerywoo

Don't US workers only get a couple of weeks annual leave a year too??

Again, totally depends. At my job, we get 26 days vacation a year, plus public holidays. I'd say that is on the good side of average, again for my type of work.

It was 12 weeks here when I had DD and DTSs (now 24 and 20).

I had to go on mat leave at 34 weeks with DD as I had high blood pressure (later pre eclampsia) so I would have had to go back when she was 6 weeks but didn’t as she was just too tiny! Most of my work colleagues and friends worked up until their due date to preserve their leave.

With the DTs, I went on mat leave at 32 weeks due to SPD. They were born at 37 weeks so I would have had to go back when they were 7 weeks which was totally unfeasible but we knew we couldn’t afford the nursery fees anyway so I didn’t go back again!

So much misinformation on this thread.

My oldest son is 29 and I had him in the USA.

At that time, maternity leave was SIX WEEKS.
I remember that I had the first week paid at 100%, the second at 90%, third at 80%, fourth at 70%, 5th at 60% and 6th at 50%.

If you took any time after that, you would need to use up your vacation time for full pay or you would not be paid. Plus, you could lose your job if you took too much time. I found it very difficult but that was what it was then. However, I was lucky that my employer actually gave me some kind of paycheck. It was surprising because there was no law forcing my employer to do it and I was very fortunate. Others were not so lucky.

Now, it's not much better. If you work for a company with less than 50 employees, your employment is protected for twelve weeks but you are unpaid for all of that time. It's truly terrible.

I had my two younger children in England and at that time, it was closer to a year and I found that outrageously long. I think 16 weeks is just about right.

When we lived in Canada 15 years back. annual leave was two weeks as standard after a years service, in DH’s industry anyway.

Pretty depressing.

@ecceromani

I was given a few weeks maternity leave, then took short term disability up to 12 weeks

Disability!!!

Yep. And it pays to have a c section as it's 8 weeks disability.

But you have to be off work 'sick' for 2 weeks unpaid before you can claim it I think.

I returned to work fulltime as nurse ( at hospital 50 miles away round trip) at 15 weeks post c section with my first dd 27 years ago ....no other option at the time (U.K.) - she went to a childminder and I managed to do combined feeding until she was 11 months old
I then took career break of 7 years until my 3 rd child was old enough to go to school as childcare would have cost more than my salary!
My dsis was a GP and she was back at work 2 weeks after her 2nd child was born in the late 70's

One of the problems in the USA is that there is no law that the leave has to be paid (it's one of the current admins aims to change that)

For companies with over 50 employees (and if you meet certain other conditions - if they have worked for their employer at least 12 months, at least 1,250 hours over the past 12 months) then the company must provide employees with up to 12 weeks UNPAID leave which leaves their job protected.

For smaller companies they don't even have to give that.

I was offered 4 weeks unpaid leave by the small company I worked for.

I think it’s such a huge issue and a real shame Meghan Markle has been absolutely panned for trying to help get better standards

France is 16 weeks mat leave. Most women go back with babies 10/12 weeks.. babies go to crèche or childminder from 10 weeks. I think it’s a bit cruel but it’s normal here to ‘just get on with it.’ I’m taking an additional year (without pay, but if you ask for it they have to allow it) and get the impression my colleagues think I’m a bit precious… boss constantly saying baby will only sleep all day so i’ll be so bored 🤣 .. here’s hoping!!! x

No matter what governments would like people to believe, maternity benefits are not about what is best for mother and baby. It's about trying to keep the birth rate up and keep valuable female labour in the workforce.

Up until recently the US has managed to have no statutory maternity rights without having much of a knock on effect to the economy, but now the birth rate is falling massively because it costs a lot to give birth, especially if there are complications and it also has an opportunity cost because the woman fears that pregnancy will mean she loses her job or her wage will rise more slowly once she has children than if she didn't. Now they are having a problem with a low fertility rate. Even women who really want to have children are limiting the number that they have for the sake of their career. They appear to be tackling it initially by trying to shame women into having children, by implying it's unpatriotic not to, but that's really unlikely to work. So, perhaps, a decade from now there will be statutory rights and protections for pregnant women.

My American friends gave up work for 4 to 6 years.

The NHS was the 1st major employer here to offer 1year maternity leave.
It was done in order to retain the skills of a largely female workforce.

As a lot of the work is fairly physical, women were going off several weeks before the birth and then having to come back to work when their baby was 4-5 months old. As a result a considerable number were not returning. As a country we couldn't afford to lose all these skilled workers so maternity leave was increased so many more returned to work.

It was 12 weeks in the UK when I had ds 21 years ago.

My employer extended to 18 weeks if you had long service, but the last 6 weeks was SMP. You could also tag on holiday leave. Most people worked until at least 38 weeks and went back to work between 6 weeks and 4 months. Nurseries took babies from 6 weeks but I used a childminder and some family help.