Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

I have a dilemma. First date and golf

58 replies

Heshowedmeheaven · 09/11/2021 09:48

Hi everyone. I've a first date at the weekend but it's going to play golf and I have never played it before. I'm wondering what to wear, first to look good but also not to be embarassed by dressing inappropriately. For footwear, Would riding boots or uggs be ok? It looks like the weather is to be very cold on Saturday so I don't want to freeze. He mentioned the driving range, Is that different to a golf course? Can I wear a hat, scarf and warm coat or will I be able to swing the cue bundled up for the weather lol Any guidance appreciated.

OP posts:
LumosSolem · 09/11/2021 10:25

@Yellow85

Oh come on…the OP is going on a first date please pull back the negativity. Yes it’s an unusually choice but you might have a massive amount of fun. Please go in open minded or you may as well not go at all.
Yes but it's not unreasonable for people to be questioning if the OP is actually happy with the choice of date- for me it would be absolutely horrible as a first date. It's not something I'd ever want to do but especially for the first date- something like going for a drink is way more relaxing!

I also echo the comments about opportunity for spooning/showing off!

OP if you're happy with golf as a choice then go and have a good time but I wouldn't be going if I wasn't comfortable with it and you shouldn't have to.

Bumbl · 09/11/2021 10:27

Something like Junkyard Golf would be a lot better (in my opinion) for a date for someone who's never played golf before.

politics4me · 09/11/2021 10:29

Probably he is fairly keen on playing already and would like you to get the same enjoyment from it that he does.
It sounds as if it's a good introduction to golf but first date??
Lucky he is not a dinghy sailor and wants you to go out for your first time in November and get dunked in the water.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

General sports
bucketsoflove · 09/11/2021 10:31

Weird first date. Did you express any interest in golf? Making it all about him very quickly indeed.

moostermum · 09/11/2021 10:34

It's good fun and there's usually a bar so great first date in my opinion.

ElephantOfRisk · 09/11/2021 10:34

I'm not a golfer but have gone to a driving range a few times with DH and DC, also not golfers, it can be a fun activity and for a date it could be fine as it should give you something to chat and laugh about. I guess like going bowling but outside, is he worried about covid?

MrsXx4 · 09/11/2021 10:40

If it’s somewhere like top golf it’ll be loads of fun! You can drink cocktails and eat snacks while you play. It’s all digital and your scores come up on a little tv like at bowling. It’s a fun idea for a date. I am horrendous at golf but still have such a laugh when we go.

You can wear what you like as it’s not actually playing golf, just be warm and comfortable.

If the date goes well and he is into golf then may I suggest swingers if there is one near you, it’s a trendy indoor bar with crazy golf and it’s excellent!

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 09/11/2021 11:02

I'd wear something like this, but lose the tie - it makes it look a bit masculine.

I have a dilemma. First date and golf
comfortablyfrumpy · 09/11/2021 11:06

If a regular driving range then perhaps a bit odd for a first date, especially if he's a golfer and knows that you're not.

If it's junkyard golf or similar, then that's different.

TreeSmuggler · 09/11/2021 11:08

I've never been but think it sounds good as a date. If you were going for coffee people would be saying - coffee? That's so boring! How about an activity and try something new, that will be more interesting.

BarbaraofSeville · 09/11/2021 11:17

I agree that proper serious golf is a strange choice for a first date. Crazy golf or similar yes, but not proper golf.

But then it could be a good way to find out how he prioritises his time and to find out that if you want to see him on a Saturday, it will have to be at the golf club, because that's where he will always be...

Pinkflask · 09/11/2021 11:25

A driving range isn't golf! Playing golf is boring as hell but a driving range is just whacking balls around and it's quite fun. I agree it's basically like bowling. You don't have to be any good at it.

FinallyHere · 09/11/2021 11:50

Golf course or driving range, neither is any kind of suitable venue for a first date for me.

I'd expect an initial coffee in a public place with a 30min limit which both parties need to agree to extend if they both want to.

Doing something at which you are entirely a novice l, is entirely the wrong dynamic. It sets him up as the expert. He may even as PP mentioned think it gives you licence for close body contact.

You may be happy with all these. The glue for me is that you are not sure how to dress appropriately. Don't go on a first date when you are so much at sea.

Unless, of course, you actually want the kind of relationship in which he takes the lead and your role is to admire. In that case, knock yourself out.

Chemenger · 09/11/2021 12:05

@Pinkflask

A driving range isn't golf! Playing golf is boring as hell but a driving range is just whacking balls around and it's quite fun. I agree it's basically like bowling. You don't have to be any good at it.
I think it must depend on the driving range. The ones I've been to are pretty quiet except for the noise of the balls being hit, there is very little conversation. Certainly no audible fun - that would be frowned on by the regular golfers who are there to practice or warm up for playing. Playing golf is much less boring than just standing hitting 50 golf balls. Maybe there are fun golf ranges but I've never been to one (unfortunately)! Crazy golf would be a great first date, nobody is very good at it and it's inherently funny.
TwinklyBranch · 09/11/2021 12:09

Why on earth would you agree to go to a driving range on a first date?! No is a complete sentence, as they say.

HotToddyColdSauvignon · 09/11/2021 12:12

Or sure sure he didn't mean crazy golf, or one of the indoor "fun" golf courses with neon lights and basically just a putter?

Does seem an odd choice for a first date - but have fun regardless OP!

RunningFromInsanity · 09/11/2021 12:16

A driving range actually sounds quite a fun date idea. Way less pressure than staring at each other and trying to look good whilst slurping pasta Wink

I would say, trainers, gym leggings (makes your bum/legs look good), jumper and maybe a gilet to keep warm but keep your arms free. Maybe a hat if you can pull it off.

HunkyPunk · 09/11/2021 12:18

Intrigued by ‘junkyard golf’! I’ve never heard of it. Is it similar to crazy golf?

Bumbl · 09/11/2021 12:28

Yeah it's just crazy golf but think it's a chain - they do drinks etc and have a bar there. I know there's ones in Leeds and Manchester.

Chippymunks · 09/11/2021 12:32

For anyone who thinks they may like to try a golfing activity, Top Golf is really fun. You don’t have to be at all good to get points and the food is nice, you can have in your heated bay or in the cafe before or after.

AutistAwayWithUrConditionalLuv · 09/11/2021 12:48

Hope you have fun.

Although your OP makes me wonder if you just followed along and accepted the date choice or if it's something you said you were happy to try (and meant it). I'd worry about the former.

You can wear a smart casual/sporty outfit with trainers.

Original poster
Heshowedmeheaven · 09/11/2021 13:31

Ok thank you for all the replies. I will try to explain.
I have been chatting to this guy on and off for a couple of years on dating sites. Just hello how are you, good how are you, want to meet up? Ye, we should do sometime and on and on it went However, I then got sick for quite a while about a year or so so wasn't on the dating sites. Then he popped up on another one and messaged me again and I recognised his photo from a couple of years previously (he hadn't updated it). So before I get to the bad bit because you'll all hate him, this is how the conversation about the golf started, though he had mentioned golf on previous occasions when I asked what he was doing for the weekend or something. I'm going to call him Gary the Golfer. Background is he's Indian so there was some Diwali celebrations all last week so that's sort of how the conversation started

Me
What about you? Still celebrating? Do you still want to meet?
Gary
am about to start a round of golf in an hour
celebrations are all over now, i hope
Me
Nice! I would love to try it. Used to play pitch n putt years ago and loved it. You any good at golf?
Gary
and yes of course, if you want to meet.
Me
Yes I’d like to
Gary
well i certainly wouldnt mind checking out your swing sometime 😉, lol
Me
Haha watch out with me armed with a golf club!! It could go any direction 😱😳😀

and on that conversation went with him say because I'm sporty I should be ok but it takes patience and then he said 'maybe if we meet up on the weekend, may take you to the driving range' So I said that I'd love that. I've been on what feels like 50 first dates and they're so boring going for drinks all the time so I really would like to try something different. So he suggested golf, dinner, drinks before and I said ye or we could just talk about it and never actually do it (history)

So now he's asking whether I'm left or right handed as he is going to bring a club that 'fits?' me and joking that we better make sure the booths next to me are empty (in fairness this might be wise Shock )

OP posts:
RunningFromInsanity · 09/11/2021 13:33

I can’t really see anything wrong with that interaction, seems lighthearted flirty and actually sets a fun date which I assume is what you want?

Original poster
Heshowedmeheaven · 09/11/2021 13:39

And the history is that about 6 weeks ago we were going to meet one thursday evening after he finished work. I had literally been messaging him and then got into shower. When I came out of shower he was ringing and there were messages from him and missed calls. So I answered and he said that his colleagues were all doing shots and he had done some so he couldn't come. So I politely said no worries and ended call. He then said I had a sexy accent as this was the first time we had ever actually spoken on the phone and I said I'm glad you like it as it's the last time you'll ever hear it. So he apologised and apologised and apologised and asked if we could meet the next week so I told him to fuck off and blocked him (this was on Whatsapp). Then a couple of weeks later he messaged me on the dating app and asked me whether I wanted to meet and I said NO. Then he tried chatting on the app another few times until a couple of weekends ago I was in A&E waiting to be seen so I replied and he rang me and stayed on the phone to me for a couple of hours chatting and that's sort of been it. He said about this week as he would be busy all last week with family events for Diwali. So even though I like him, there is a history there but I'm having no luck dating anyway so I might as well at least do something fun on a date.

OP posts:
ISeeTheLight · 09/11/2021 13:39

Do you want to get into a relationship with someone who plays golf every weekend? A friend of mine had this. Her (now ex)DP was a member of Wentworth and the whole shebang. When they were looking at buying a property together it has to be within x distance of Wentworth (which meant it was £££££). She also basically never saw him on weekends. His whole life evolved around golf. On that basis alone I wouldn't go.

Swipe left for the next trending thread