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Original poster

Friend is hijacking our weekend away with her Body Shop shite

698 replies

Youngatheart00 · 07/11/2021 15:44

In a fortnights time DH and I are going away with some other friends for a weekend away in a cottage. One of my friends has recently joined the Body shop cult at home and has been pushing it any excuse she gets.

She’s now suggested the girls in the group have a ‘pamper evening’ which basically just means her trying to sell to us. Of the 8 of us, 2 have already said ‘great idea can’t wait’ and another ive spoken to isn’t keen on the products but wants to support her. I don’t want to fall out over this but I really don’t want to waste a Saturday night when I don’t agree with MLM and hate what it’s doing to my friend!!

How to approach this tactfully?

OP posts:
BackBackBack · 07/11/2021 17:52

@Looneytune253

It might be worth finding out what she means by pamper evening. Make it really awkward. Pretty sure there's not much thought given to the pampering and probably not much in the way of freebies but it might be worth asking outright and it might make the others see that it's not a pamper night at all it's literally a sales pitch
Good idea - make a joke out of it.

I'm up for a face mask and a glass of fizz. I'm not up for having to watch you tell us about a table of products and listening to a sales pitch Grin

SnoopyLights · 07/11/2021 17:52

Perhaps reply and say "X do you really want to be working on our weekend away, it's our first group meet up in months and we should all just be enjoying it. You'll have to bring all your stock with you and you probably won't even have time to set it all up and show it all off since we'll be out while 6pm, then sorting the kids, we'll probably all be too rushed and tired, and Y and Z have already said they are cooking for us all that night and we're eating at 8:30pm. Why don't you just forget about work and relax and enjoy the weekend like the rest of us. You can arrange a sales night for another time with any of the group who want to take part?"

Novemberchild2 · 07/11/2021 17:55

@Youngatheart00

I’m not sure how she’s planning to run it. I’ve been subjected to one of these ‘parties’ before, a few years ago (with another friend who was in to it for about 5 mins before realising she was losing money not making it)

She’s literally now posted on our group that she’ll be ‘taking orders for gifts so don’t forget your wallet ladies’ - I am pretty pissed off that a group of great friends getting together for the first time since pre covid is being used as a sales opportunity

This is really poor. Friends seen as a sales opportunity but doesn't surprise me with the MLM bots they buy into the script and leave the morals at the door. She will try to get you to join the cult soon because she is making 'so much money' she will be able to retire in a year or so.

I've unfriended due to this constant pushing

whistleryukon · 07/11/2021 17:55

Isn't it crazy that there have been loads of suggestions made like pretending to be ill, having allergies, having to isolate and test, booking a whole other event etc just to get out of not having to be forced to give this woman money - rather than just saying no. It's so British. I would do the same, mind. Wish I was more assertive.

CtrlU · 07/11/2021 17:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CtrlU · 07/11/2021 17:57

Either don’t go for the weekend away or when the pamper party is happening - excuse yourself somewhere else.

The cottage is surely not in the middle of nowhere. And if it is where there’s no option to do/ go somewhere else for the evening - even more reason to stay home

ftw163532 · 07/11/2021 17:57

@SnoopyLights

Perhaps reply and say "X do you really want to be working on our weekend away, it's our first group meet up in months and we should all just be enjoying it. You'll have to bring all your stock with you and you probably won't even have time to set it all up and show it all off since we'll be out while 6pm, then sorting the kids, we'll probably all be too rushed and tired, and Y and Z have already said they are cooking for us all that night and we're eating at 8:30pm. Why don't you just forget about work and relax and enjoy the weekend like the rest of us. You can arrange a sales night for another time with any of the group who want to take part?"
That's too long and vague. It needs to be a concise reply if she's going to read it and realise you're saying no.

Besides which, if you offer a series of excuses instead of saying no she'll simply problem solve them away.

NotJustACigar · 07/11/2021 17:58

I'd just say "to be honest I'd just rather we enjoy the break away rather than have it as a sales night"

I'd actually add this to what you said earlier.

MrTulkingIsFeelingHorny · 07/11/2021 17:59

I think your response is ideal, OP.

I'd like to say I'd be braver and blunter, as I loathe everything about this (from being pressurised to buy stuff, to the idea that "ladies" want to have a "pampering evening" , to the men going off to be laddish ) - but I know I wouldn't IRL.

Agree with @Justmuddlingalong, too - tell your DH you will kill him if he buys her Body Shop shite for you for Christmas.

saraclara · 07/11/2021 17:59

say you really don’t want to buy body shop stuff on a Saturday night with friends, could we do something else?

That. Remind her that this is a break, and to leave her work at home!

10yearwarranty · 07/11/2021 18:00

Just be honest - I'm not really up for this. We've already got a nice meal planned - cooked by x and y - and I think after that it would be lovely to just relax, drink wine and have a nice catch up. We haven't seen each other for ages.

tallduckandhandsome · 07/11/2021 18:02

@CtrlU

My answer is still valid though.

Well not really.

Either don’t go for the weekend away or when the pamper party is happening - excuse yourself somewhere else.

Don’t go on the weekend she’s paid a lot of money for?

Hide herself in a room because she doesn’t want the get together to be hijacked by a pyramid scheme?

The cottage is surely not in the middle of nowhere. And if it is where there’s no option to do/ go somewhere else for the evening - even more reason to stay home

And waste all that money? Fuck that. Much better to rally the troops against the pyramid schemer.

AhNowTed · 07/11/2021 18:03

@LuluJakey1

It's all so horribly dated and sexist and twee couplesy. 'Ladies', 'pamper evening', men at the pub playing pool, her going with the men and when they're drunk get them to do their Christmas shopping, you staying in to peel potatoes instead, volunteering to look after you children, glasses of 'bubbles' 'Bring your wallets ladies' 'I'll entertain the kids so you ladies can enjoy yourselves'. Have we come nowhere as women in the last 30 years?

💯

I'd be having a drink and playing pool.

10yearwarranty · 07/11/2021 18:03

You could add... maybe those who want to stay in for the Body Shop meet up could keep an eye on the kids. Anyone who doesn't want to do that could go to a pub?

DrDreReturns · 07/11/2021 18:03

Just say no. Say if she runs the pamper session you are going down the pub with the men. Leave no ambiguity.
I wouldn't sit through that shit.

LannieDuck · 07/11/2021 18:03

“ok, no issue with doing this but we will need to keep an eye on the time as we won’t be back from (daytime activity) until 6 and I know DCs will be wanting tea / bath and then I think we are eating about half 8. I’m also a bit skint but I’ll take a quick look”

How do you square this with being honest and not lying? You do have an issue with what she's doing, so don't say you don't. You also don't want to buy anything, so don't encourage her by suggesting you might.

Say something like "I'm sorry X, but I don't want to feel obliged to buy anything on this weekend. If others want to do a small sales-party with you, that's fine, but I'd rather not. I'll be happy to help the chef instead."

Honeyroar · 07/11/2021 18:04

I love Body shop stuff but I would be annoyed at her taking over. I’d put on the group chat that you’re meeting up to get pissed and see your friends, not do your Xmas shopping. Tell her it’s not relaxing if people bring their work with them. Tell her you’re bringing aDVD and a wine box, not your wallet.

Feedingthebirds1 · 07/11/2021 18:04

ok, no issue with doing this but we will need to keep an eye on the time as we won’t be back from (daytime activity) until 6 and I know DCs will be wanting tea / bath and then I think we are eating about half 8. I’m also a bit skint but I’ll take a quick look”

OP you say you have an issue with even small lies. So why are you telling her you have no issue with it when you do? Stop trying to be nice, to make sure there are no ructions. Take your cue from the one who's messaged you. Can you arrange with the one who's contacted you that you both post a no on the group at pretty much the same time? Then Body shop woman can't accuse either of you of being the ringleader and ruining her Saturday night sales pitch pamper evening.

Bonbon21 · 07/11/2021 18:05

You are paying your share for this weekend.
You have been waiting for months and months for a weekend away.
You are not interested in a) Body Shop b) Christmas shopping.
You do not wait to waste an evening supportin her money making scheme.
She is being monumentally rude trying to screw a captive audience for her own benefit.
I would not be embarrassed into being involved.
She is certainly not shy at coercing all of you... so she shouldnt be sensitive when you say no.
She can get stuffed.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 07/11/2021 18:05

I'm way too old for niceties like "oh not for me thanks, but you crack on." I think I'd have to say "I thought this weekend was about us all having a laugh together, not an opportunity for you to make money out of us". I just wouldn't be able to stop myself, she's got a bloody cheek and needs telling.

minou123 · 07/11/2021 18:07

I hate MLM. I always fall for "come to my party" and it turns out to be an MLM.

I was becoming friends with a work colleague and she invited me to her house for a house party.
It was a pampered chef MLM.

Another one....invited to a charity night for Breast Cancer.
Bloody Jamie Oliver kitchen MLM shite.
Apparently 10% of profit would go to charity

I was raging.

So I fell you Op, but because its happened loads to me, I would be very blunt:

No, thank you. I'm not interested

Fluffymule · 07/11/2021 18:07

@10yearwarranty

Just be honest - I'm not really up for this. We've already got a nice meal planned - cooked by x and y - and I think after that it would be lovely to just relax, drink wine and have a nice catch up. We haven't seen each other for ages.
I'd be using this.

I hate it when people abuse friendships and push boundaries. She knows this is not on, but is plowing ahead anyway.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 07/11/2021 18:07

@Youngatheart00

I’m not sure how she’s planning to run it. I’ve been subjected to one of these ‘parties’ before, a few years ago (with another friend who was in to it for about 5 mins before realising she was losing money not making it)

She’s literally now posted on our group that she’ll be ‘taking orders for gifts so don’t forget your wallet ladies’ - I am pretty pissed off that a group of great friends getting together for the first time since pre covid is being used as a sales opportunity

I think you need to speak out - message her and say you are uncomfortable with this holiday being used as a sales opportunity, and that others feel the same.

Or, if you don’t want to go nuclear, you could try suggesting something different for that evening - a cocktail making session or a murder mystery game - see if there is more enthusiasm for that, then you can say “Oh dear - looks like the pamper evening will have to be postponed”.

BonesInTheOcean · 07/11/2021 18:08

@Redlorryyellowlorryblue

I’d purchase a tube of nail cream that I like and use from her earlier in the day and go out for the evening. Supportive, productive and then doing what you want.
You should not support any mlm at all
FatCatThinCat · 07/11/2021 18:08

This is someone you're close enough to to be going on holiday with. Just tell her thanks but no thanks you're not interested in buying and Body Shop stuff and a pamper evening isn't your thing. Can't be doing with fart arsing around the sensibilities of someone who's tone deaf to the feelings of others.