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Original poster

Friend is hijacking our weekend away with her Body Shop shite

698 replies

Youngatheart00 · 07/11/2021 15:44

In a fortnights time DH and I are going away with some other friends for a weekend away in a cottage. One of my friends has recently joined the Body shop cult at home and has been pushing it any excuse she gets.

She’s now suggested the girls in the group have a ‘pamper evening’ which basically just means her trying to sell to us. Of the 8 of us, 2 have already said ‘great idea can’t wait’ and another ive spoken to isn’t keen on the products but wants to support her. I don’t want to fall out over this but I really don’t want to waste a Saturday night when I don’t agree with MLM and hate what it’s doing to my friend!!

How to approach this tactfully?

OP posts:

GloriaSicTransitMundi · 07/11/2021 17:41

This idea makes me shudder! I'd say straight out 'not for me thanks, don't want to waste the prime eveing of our covid-delayed weekend away on a sales pitch, and anyway xy couple are cooking and you know how great their food is. Those who'd like the pamper / sales session can always meet up another time when we're back home.'

That should work, bet there're only a couple in the group who want this sales pitch interrupting your away break.

RampantIvy · 07/11/2021 17:41

So post back on Facebook and say you really don’t want to buy body shop stuff on a Saturday night with friends, could we do something else?

This ^^
I can't see how this reply could offend, and it might encourage others to say no thank you.

Also, are the men just going to go to the pub and leave the "little women" to do the childcare? Not much of a weekend away is it?

Lasair · 07/11/2021 17:41

Enjoy the free products and don’t buy anything. Say you came out in a rash over night

NewbieAlert · 07/11/2021 17:41

I feel your pain.
I wouldn’t even pretend.
I’d just say something on the group chat along the lines of ‘was really looking forward to wine and a gossip. Sorry, I don’t want to spend a portion of the evening on body shop products. Maybe bring along your brochures and those that want to can place an order separately.’

HappyDays101010 · 07/11/2021 17:41

I once saw a MLM type pushing aloe juice crap to a breastfeeding mother at a baby and toddler group - and to this date 12 years later, it still bugs me that I didn’t say anything to stop it.

justaddcandlelight · 07/11/2021 17:42

Could you suggest leaving all work at home so she can 'relax' too?
Promote how nice it will be for her to switch off for a bit too and how it's not fair on her to host an evening because the means she's working and you're all getting pampered.....

GreenClock · 07/11/2021 17:43

I think that your response is a bit wishywashy OP but it may do the trick.

PurpleOkapi · 07/11/2021 17:43

If anyone's even remotely considering going along with the "pampering evening," it's worth clarifying how it will be done. Is she going to give everyone free face masks/products to use for the evening and then pester them to buy the same ones? Or would they have to buy everything before they can use it, so they don't get to participate in the "pampering" until they've shelled out?

Personally, I hate this sort of thing and would rather be out with the men than messing around with beauty products. But I'd be sorely tempted to just buy a bunch of pampering stuff from some other brand, then take a picture of it all and say "Great! I'm all stocked up and looking forward to pampering!"

CtrlU · 07/11/2021 17:43

Just don’t go ?

I’m unsure why you can’t just simply not go

Surely if she has suggested something and you don’t want to do it- just say no.

Am I missing something here?

TableFlowerss · 07/11/2021 17:44

I hate all of these selling schemes….. there’s about a thousand of them. Candles, body lotions, chef products, creams, make up, even energy and utilities.

It’s fucking draining when ‘friends’ won’t let this shit drop and suggest ‘pamper evenings’.

I despair OP and I feel sorry for you

godmum56 · 07/11/2021 17:44

I'd mind the 'Laydeez do this and the Guyz do that" thing. DH and I did used to go off and do our own things and we had different hobbies but it would be OUR choice to be apart or together and no one else's, especially on a weekend away. I am a grump and a cow and I think I would be saying that not only is this not for me but setting up an alternative option for those who didn't want to do this either. I don't mind what people choose to do themselves although I despise MLM's but muscling in on a long awaited social event is just not on and she would no longer be my friend.

CtrlU · 07/11/2021 17:44

If you were looking forward to the girls night in - suggest another time, another night to do so. MLM and body shop, free

godmum56 · 07/11/2021 17:45

@RampantIvy

So post back on Facebook and say you really don’t want to buy body shop stuff on a Saturday night with friends, could we do something else?

This ^^
I can't see how this reply could offend, and it might encourage others to say no thank you.

Also, are the men just going to go to the pub and leave the "little women" to do the childcare? Not much of a weekend away is it?

this absolutely

ChargingBuck · 07/11/2021 17:47

She’s literally now posted on our group that she’ll be ‘taking orders for gifts so don’t forget your wallet ladies’ - I am pretty pissed off that a group of great friends getting together for the first time since pre covid is being used as a sales opportunity

"I'll be taking my wallet down the pub, because I've been looking forward to seeing you all together for the first time since covid, so I wasn't expecting to be segregated by sex & asked to attend a sales event. I'm sure that those who want to attend will do so, but it's not something I anticipated, & would prefer to be doing holiday things on this weekend. Am sure everyone who's interested will have fun though. :)"

Don't forget the passive-aggressive smiley ... it's your get-out card for when Ms Cult calls you a meanie.

godmum56 · 07/11/2021 17:47

@CtrlU

Just don’t go ?

I’m unsure why you can’t just simply not go

Surely if she has suggested something and you don’t want to do it- just say no.

Am I missing something here?

they are all renting a cottage. I am guessing it won't have a whole slew of rooms so unless MLM-er does it in her bedroom, it will be hard to avoid?

myusernamewastakenbyme · 07/11/2021 17:48

Oh god i would be livid....i loathe mlm's and certainly would not listen to her hard sell...i think the idea of saying its not my cup of tea me and husband are going out for a meal is the best one.

BackBackBack · 07/11/2021 17:48

Very good point about warning your H not to buy. Especially if your friend's H thinks that this is a genuine business and that you all need to support her. He'll be pushing the agenda on her behalf and at least one of the group will end up with a load of BS crap for Christmas.

Looneytune253 · 07/11/2021 17:49

It might be worth finding out what she means by pamper evening. Make it really awkward. Pretty sure there's not much thought given to the pampering and probably not much in the way of freebies but it might be worth asking outright and it might make the others see that it's not a pamper night at all it's literally a sales pitch

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 07/11/2021 17:49

@Aquamarine1029

I am pretty pissed off that a group of great friends getting together for the first time since pre covid is being used as a sales opportunity

I would tell her exactly this. There is no way I would keep quiet.

i would be saying this in spades too as well as not going I bloody hate it.

ChargingBuck · 07/11/2021 17:50

join you in the anti-MLM lifeboat

Perfect metaphor @MissLucyEyelesbarrow

user1481840227 · 07/11/2021 17:50

@Youngatheart00

I’m not sure how she’s planning to run it. I’ve been subjected to one of these ‘parties’ before, a few years ago (with another friend who was in to it for about 5 mins before realising she was losing money not making it)

I'd just say "to be honest I'd just rather we enjoy the break away rather than have it as a sales night"

Simple and to the point!

If she goes on about pampering and how fun it will be etc. just say

"I understand that there's that component to it but at the end of the day it's still about making sales and I just want a break away"

stopblowingyournose · 07/11/2021 17:51

I don't have anything wise to share just wanted to say how pissed off I would be if I were the op.

rrockett · 07/11/2021 17:51

I'd go to the pub with the men.

Justmuddlingalong · 07/11/2021 17:52

I think even if all the women don't buy so much as a bath bead between them, she'll be counting on the men ordering. Anything you use during a pampering session will be suggested as a must buy for the DHs. Don't even pick anything up!

ftw163532 · 07/11/2021 17:52

I'd be quite hurt if someone I considered a friend tried to do this to me. It's one thing to extend an invite to you to attend a sales event at her home, quite another to target you on your holiday because she thinks you can't say no that way.

You do have an issue with it, I don't know why you'd send a message saying you don't. Boundaries are not a bad thing.

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