Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Friend is hijacking our weekend away with her Body Shop shite

698 replies

Youngatheart00 · 07/11/2021 15:44

In a fortnights time DH and I are going away with some other friends for a weekend away in a cottage. One of my friends has recently joined the Body shop cult at home and has been pushing it any excuse she gets.

She’s now suggested the girls in the group have a ‘pamper evening’ which basically just means her trying to sell to us. Of the 8 of us, 2 have already said ‘great idea can’t wait’ and another ive spoken to isn’t keen on the products but wants to support her. I don’t want to fall out over this but I really don’t want to waste a Saturday night when I don’t agree with MLM and hate what it’s doing to my friend!!

How to approach this tactfully?

OP posts:
thisplaceisweird · 08/11/2021 09:31

@Youngatheart00

Still no reply from the friend….I’m torn because whilst I don’t want this silly evening to go ahead, I’ve also known her for over 15 years and until this latest shite she’s been a great friend.

The friend who messaged me separately and the one who messaged group re allergy are two different people! So the two early ‘sounds great’ ‘count me in’ are now outnumbered, but it may make it easier for Pam (that’s now her name - Pampering Pam 🤣) to just do it with those who want to.

Feedback taken that I could have been more direct. As mentioned if this were work, I’ve got no qualms being direct but with this group of friends I’m just inclined to go for an easy life as I don’t want anything to create an atmosphere on our first chance in ages to all be together.

The bloody drama, all over some handcream!!!

I actually think you're the one making it a drama.

You need to just say in the group "I am pretty pissed off that a group of great friends getting together for the first time since pre covid is being used as a sales opportunity" like you said here, and text the others who agree to back you up.

godmum56 · 08/11/2021 09:32

@Qwertykeys

You need to step back now , just let her reply if she wants. If once your there she insists on the pamper party just say sorry I thought I made it clear it's not for me and retreat to another room
but why should the Op retreat?
Noshowlomo · 08/11/2021 09:33

I hate MLM. Had someone send me about 20 messages once saying I should be part of their team as I would sell well bla bla bla.
Get a real fucking job, shove your aloe up your area.

BackBackBack · 08/11/2021 09:33

I agree. Why are you worrying yourself about being tactful when she clearly doesn't give a shit about whether you want to be "pampered" or not?

She will have had training on how to counter objections. She will also have had training on how to soft-peddle the sales aspect if people are lukewarm or negative about it, as the intention will be to get you in the room and once you're there she'll badger you directly because it's much harder to say no to someone's face.

Short and sharp. And publicly, because I suspect if you say no you'll get backing from the others.

cstaff · 08/11/2021 09:34

A friend of mine (Anne) fell out or distanced herself from a girl she had been friends with for over 40 years (Babs). Quite sad but Babs kept putting the pressure on Anne and Anne was having none of it. Anne went to one house party and bought one small thing to support Babs and that was her first mistake. The texts and calls kept coming. Eventually Anne just avoided her calls and stopped agreeing to meet because she knew where the conversation would go eventually.

At the time they were both either working part time or SAHM so they used to meet for coffee or go shopping regularly. That all fell by the wayside as a result of Babs' BS.

nextdoorslawnmower · 08/11/2021 09:38

*I actually think you're the one making it a drama.

You need to just say in the group "I am pretty pissed off that a group of great friends getting together for the first time since pre covid is being used as a sales opportunity" like you said here, and text the others who agree to back you up.*

Jesus. Op ignore the people trying to get you to go in guns blazing and stir shit up. What you have said is fine. You've made your position clear. If she still turns up with it then you can opt out and there will be others that join you.

Bloodfart · 08/11/2021 09:46

"Yeah, this isn't the sort of thing I'd enjoy in the slightest, so I'll leave you to it and join the others going to the pub".

cstaff · 08/11/2021 09:49

I agree with @nextdoorslawnmower in that you are better off keeping it low key if at all possible. You don't want to destroy a good friendship over something this stupid. BTW if it does destroy the friendship, that will be on Pam completely and if she cant see this then she has already been brainwashed by this MLM BS. Hopefully sense will be seen and a good weekend had by all.

inappropriateraspberry · 08/11/2021 09:55

I'd tell her it's not appropriate. If she wants to sell stuff, she should organise a party night on her own time, not on a holiday!

CallmeHendricks · 08/11/2021 10:13

Bloody hell, is she planning on setting out her stall with a billboard and a card reader?! In the sitting room of your holiday house whilst kids are probably still running around, your friend is trying to cook dinner for 8 and the blokes are whooping and boozing in a nearby room playing pool?
And she reckons that will be "a bit of fun and a treat?"
Crack on.

DedalusBloom · 08/11/2021 10:20

@BackBackBack
"I loathe pamper evenings - even the bloody word gives me the ick. I want to sit and get gently pissed and gossip, not marvel at the size of the blackhead that's just been removed from Linda's nose."

As a die hard sporner I would be delighted to winkle blackheads out of Linda's nose. Grin

But a pamper evening can get to fuck.

NotJustACigar · 08/11/2021 10:24

I think as long as its before dinner and you can opt out it's shite but bearable. My biggest concern would be her trying to do the bloody pampering starting after dinner and for the rest of the evening while the men folks get to go to the pub.

BruiserWoods · 08/11/2021 10:24

You're all very brave. When i was invited to these things i went but i used to use my most apologetic tone of voice to say id only be able to buy the very cheaprst thing. Whether it was tupperware or green house clothes

The normally hid their disappointment.

NotJustACigar · 08/11/2021 10:25

And I'm another one who's way too invested in this - please promise you'll update us after the event and let us know what happened, OP!

KosherDill · 08/11/2021 10:31

Agree; need to know how it plays out!

MamDancer · 08/11/2021 10:37

@Bloodfart

My favourite thing about this kind of thread is seeing the different names people assign to the CF.
I want Gerald and Lucinda to cook my dinner.
Thelnebriati · 08/11/2021 10:45

You need to just say in the group "I am pretty pissed off that a group of great friends getting together for the first time since pre covid is being used as a sales opportunity" like you said here, and text the others who agree to back you up.

I'm usually the one to do that and ime the others will privately agree but publicly go along with it for a quiet life, making me look like a grade A twat.

Bythemillpond · 08/11/2021 10:47

She’s literally now posted on our group that she’ll be ‘taking orders for gifts so don’t forget your wallet ladies

I think I would have replied

I thought this was a pamper evening. I was going to bring my own face mask, footner etc

I wanted to spend the evening catching up with you all not shopping

Justilou1 · 08/11/2021 10:50

Meanwhile, at least you're not likely to be saddled with another useless melon baller.

LookItsMeAgain · 08/11/2021 10:51

I can't find the exact wording that I would send on the group chat but it would be something like that you have been looking forward to this weekend away for ages and you don't want the first break away in ages to be commandeered by her selling stuff.
@TeeBee had a good way to say it early on in the thread "I'd say 'What?! On our only Saturday night together in ages?! You've got to be kidding, I'm off down the pub'."
But I'd be a bit more blunt that that - like "What are we, 12??? We don't do 'pamper evenings' less so if we're being sold something. We're not into Tupperware or Ann Summers type evenings on our break away. I'll book myself in to the hotel spa if I want pampering. Anyone want to join me for a massage and a dip in the jacuzzi? I'll find the details and treatments available and send them on to anyone interested"

Brainwave89 · 08/11/2021 11:09

I lived in a shared house once where one of my housemates used to be involved in MLM for a cleaning company. Given the lack of space her "mentor" team often used to hold meetings in our kitchen, which was a bit awkward. One of the things that lives with me on walking in and out was the group saying (more than once), that all social activities should be viewed as ways of furthering your business, and that all opportunities for sales should be taken. In other words, pressure your friends and relatives, and use times when they are effectively captive to sell! In your shoes I would politely say no I do not fancy this, and would prefer to do something else- then do it.

Itsnotallaboutyoubaby · 08/11/2021 11:20

This would really wind me up

RampantIvy · 08/11/2021 11:35

I agree that you should have voiced your objections on the group chat as it will allow others to follow suit.

fromdownwest · 08/11/2021 11:57

If it does not destroy the friendship now, it is only a matter of time. Every event you do together will be a sales pitch, every Christmas / Birthday will be a torrent of buy gifts spam.

We actually lost a friend in our group due to his Wife's obsession with Aloe Gunk. We pushed back from day 1, but she was carried on, the tone changed to us being non supportive to how we all lacked ambition and drive in life.

Years later we found out that they had divorced as she was using the husbands Credit Cards to bank roll her dream life style.

It is better to draw the line in the sand now, than to enable her, as it will just open the flood gates.

Sounds extreme, but, these MLM's are well trained at breaking people from logical thinking and associated 'haters'.

EdgeOfTheSky · 08/11/2021 11:59

If you have been good friends you are close enough for you to say ‘no thanks’ nicely but clearly.

Have a coffee with her and tell her honestly that it just isn’t the right thing for this weekend away, and personally you don’t want to spend your Saturday night looking at Body Shop products.