Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Friend is hijacking our weekend away with her Body Shop shite

698 replies

Youngatheart00 · 07/11/2021 15:44

In a fortnights time DH and I are going away with some other friends for a weekend away in a cottage. One of my friends has recently joined the Body shop cult at home and has been pushing it any excuse she gets.

She’s now suggested the girls in the group have a ‘pamper evening’ which basically just means her trying to sell to us. Of the 8 of us, 2 have already said ‘great idea can’t wait’ and another ive spoken to isn’t keen on the products but wants to support her. I don’t want to fall out over this but I really don’t want to waste a Saturday night when I don’t agree with MLM and hate what it’s doing to my friend!!

How to approach this tactfully?

OP posts:
RampantIvy · 08/11/2021 08:18

@TheWayTheLightFalls

For someone who wants to be honest, OP, you've really tied yourself in knots. It's fine to just not want to do things, and say so.
I agree. "It's not for me thank you" on the group chat, so that others can follow suit.

It's no wonder that people from other countries think that we never say what we mean.

FindTheTruth · 08/11/2021 08:29

[quote Youngatheart00]@RunningScarabbed I honestly don’t think anyone IS keen, it’s just they are trying to be supportive, plus this one friend is quite forceful.

A true pamper night which is relaxing may well appeal but the reality is it’s a hard sell dressed up as a pamper night[/quote]
Just say no. everything will be fine.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 08/11/2021 08:34

I also think it's really poor form of your MLM friend to be doing this to what is, effectively, a captive audience. Fucking rude, if I'm totally honest.
And if she doesn't make enough sales, she'll be walking around all the next day with a face like a wet weekend, no doubt! With added guilt that "none of you are supporting her" in her business endeavour.

Fuck that noise, tbh.

WimpoleHat · 08/11/2021 08:36

You've already made plans for the evening. So who is she to cancel them? Rude fucker.

Have to say I agree with this. She hasn’t pussyfooted round considering your feelings - just thought “here’s a good opportunity for me to sell to my friends in a confined space where they’ll feel they can’t get out of buying”. Why the need to be über positive about it? I think the “no thanks, the original plans sound more like my idea of a treat” is the only way to go. Polite enough- but equally direct.

Kiduknot · 08/11/2021 08:39

"I don't want a pamper session. I just want a happy weekend with good food, good wine and my mates."

Definitely this. Hopefully the others will have the balls to add “me too”

Original poster
Youngatheart00 · 08/11/2021 08:42

Still no reply from the friend….I’m torn because whilst I don’t want this silly evening to go ahead, I’ve also known her for over 15 years and until this latest shite she’s been a great friend.

The friend who messaged me separately and the one who messaged group re allergy are two different people! So the two early ‘sounds great’ ‘count me in’ are now outnumbered, but it may make it easier for Pam (that’s now her name - Pampering Pam 🤣) to just do it with those who want to.

Feedback taken that I could have been more direct. As mentioned if this were work, I’ve got no qualms being direct but with this group of friends I’m just inclined to go for an easy life as I don’t want anything to create an atmosphere on our first chance in ages to all be together.

The bloody drama, all over some handcream!!!

OP posts:
ftw163532 · 08/11/2021 08:48

but with this group of friends I’m just inclined to go for an easy life

I'm curious, how is allowing the hard selling event to take over your long-awaited holiday the "easy life" ?

Sounds stressful and disappointing, all to avoid a momentarily uncomfortable conversation now.

Mol1628 · 08/11/2021 08:48

Oh I really hate this. I’ve had a couple of family get together as ruined by this crap.

Once younique and once forever living.

Both times I was accused of being unsupportive of their business when I said I wasn’t interested.

Unmerited · 08/11/2021 08:49

@myusernamewastakenbyme

Sadly i think there will be an atmosphere at the cottage now...Body Shop hun will be annoyed that her efforts to make money from her friends has been thwarted and Op will be annoyed that BS Hun tried to hijack the weekend away to start with.
Plus the people who neither wanted the MLM night or the conflict about it and are wishing they’d never agreed to the trip.
IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves · 08/11/2021 08:52

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but now she's an MLM Hun, anything short of spending half your wages every month 'supporting her small business' will cause an atmosphere.

Your friend is gone.

Ever see invasion of the body snatchers? She's a pod person now.

rookiemere · 08/11/2021 08:55

Time to put a message on the group chat - maybe your initial instincts were correct- time box it to pre dinner so she has an hour tops. Actually no scrap that, just say it's not your thing and you're intending to be tipsy after dinner.

Qwertykeys · 08/11/2021 08:56

You need to step back now , just let her reply if she wants. If once your there she insists on the pamper party just say sorry I thought I made it clear it's not for me and retreat to another room

FindTheTruth · 08/11/2021 08:57

Feedback taken that I could have been more direct

@Youngatheart00 you still can and you will be ok

lurkingfromhome · 08/11/2021 08:59

I tell you now, if I was looking forward to a lovely catch-up weekend with friends I hadn't seen for ages, a fricking "pamper evening for the girls" would make me get in the car and go home. And I say this as someone who is actually quite obsessed with skincare and make-up. However, I am not 12 years old and therefore don't want to spend a civilised evening giggling with "the girls" and trying Avon shite on the back of my hand. It's so reductive and infantilising. This is not going for the "easy life" option.

Tanith · 08/11/2021 09:01

I'm completely unsupportive these days. One of my clients used the money she owed me to buy more stock, then gave immediate notice to me. So she actually stole from my business to fund her own.

It's a pyramid scheme; a scam, that turns ordinary people into thieves and liars who are prepared to scam their own friends and family. There's been enough publicity about these so-called business opportunities that most of them know what they're doing.

BackBackBack · 08/11/2021 09:02

@Qwertykeys

You need to step back now , just let her reply if she wants. If once your there she insists on the pamper party just say sorry I thought I made it clear it's not for me and retreat to another room
Agree. She'll be sulking - let her.

I loathe pamper evenings - even the bloody word gives me the ick. I want to sit and get gently pissed and gossip, not marvel at the size of the blackhead that's just been removed from Linda's nose.

Aderyn21 · 08/11/2021 09:08

I’m not sure private messaging is the way to go. I’d be inclined to tacking it on the group chat, just in a ‘no thanks, just want to catch up with my mates, not buy stuff’ kind of way. Private messaging just allows her to be huffy with you and doesn’t give the others a chance to weigh in. You get to do all the dirty work.

billy1966 · 08/11/2021 09:12

@ftw163532

but with this group of friends I’m just inclined to go for an easy life

I'm curious, how is allowing the hard selling event to take over your long-awaited holiday the "easy life" ?

Sounds stressful and disappointing, all to avoid a momentarily uncomfortable conversation now.

This.

She is utterly selfish and presumptuous to suggest this.

It's not a treat to be on a weekend away and asked for your wallet to be opened whilst relaxing.

I can't imagine the tackiness and crass of this.

She wants to take over an evening to make money?

So rude.
Now she's huffing?

She sounds awful OP.

You are all hopping around trying not to upset her, whilst she couldn't give a damn about ye all.

billy1966 · 08/11/2021 09:13

I agree, a straight up "No thanks, I want to catch up with my friends, as was the plan" was the way to go.

Private messaging her was not a good idea.

supremelybaffled · 08/11/2021 09:14

I used to be self-employed and ran my own business. I had plenty of clients. But what I didn't do was badger all my family and friends to let me do their financial planning and tax returns for them. That would have been weird.

MLMshouldbeillegal · 08/11/2021 09:15

See why MLMs should be illegal? Not only do they rip people off and exploit the vulnerable, they turn previously reasonable and pleasant women into desperate shills who can't wait to rip off their friends.

Ban them. Now.

rookiemere · 08/11/2021 09:19

Actually maybe group message should be something like " sorry not my thing. As Gerald and Lucinda are cooking dinner maybe those who want to do this could fit it in before dinner. That way we won't be rushing the evening. What does everyone think ? "

Bloodfart · 08/11/2021 09:21

My favourite thing about this kind of thread is seeing the different names people assign to the CF.

NellieEllie · 08/11/2021 09:23

Id be furious at someone hijacking a weekend away for a selling opportunity, both selfish, and bad manners.
I’d go to the pub with the guys saying that you just don’t like body shop stuff and just want a nice evening.

thisplaceisweird · 08/11/2021 09:28

@WorraLiberty

How to approach this tactfully?

Don't, just tell her straight what you've told us.

All you can do I think. She won't get the message unless you say it straight.

You don't like it, it's dispruting your friendship and social time, feels like you're just being sold to. Friends don't do that