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Original poster

Friend is hijacking our weekend away with her Body Shop shite

698 replies

Youngatheart00 · 07/11/2021 15:44

In a fortnights time DH and I are going away with some other friends for a weekend away in a cottage. One of my friends has recently joined the Body shop cult at home and has been pushing it any excuse she gets.

She’s now suggested the girls in the group have a ‘pamper evening’ which basically just means her trying to sell to us. Of the 8 of us, 2 have already said ‘great idea can’t wait’ and another ive spoken to isn’t keen on the products but wants to support her. I don’t want to fall out over this but I really don’t want to waste a Saturday night when I don’t agree with MLM and hate what it’s doing to my friend!!

How to approach this tactfully?

OP posts:
Autumnleaves4 · 07/11/2021 22:34

I think you need to be more direct, ‘a pamper evening is not really my think and x and y were already planning to cook a special meal, could you arrange a pamper evening another time?’

Why should you have to have it in the weekend you’ve been looking forward to and paid a lot for. See how the others react, if they support your suggestion then hopefully she will move her evening if they support the pamper evening then help in the kitchen or pool or switch!

youvegottenminuteslynn · 07/11/2021 22:34

"Although you say there will be 'no pressure', you've already asked everyone not to forget their wallets in a message... if you really value the friendships in the group it is important that you recognise this is a weekend away as friend rather than an opportunity to sell product. Hopefully you can respect that."

NicLondon1 · 07/11/2021 22:36

I'd just say "Do you mind if we arrange a pamper evening another time? Would love to just catch up and chat this weekend"

myheartskippedabeat · 07/11/2021 22:38

@Youngatheart00

You have my sympathies

In our department (work in a hospital) we have Avon, Younique, Bodyshop at Home and some weird company selling wax melts and stuff and there's a constant trail of catalogues in the office with all this stuff!

The bodyshop girl is the worst - I pointed out (in the office with lots of people about!!) that if I bought it online I get 25% discount so why would I buy it from a catalogue at work?? I said I'd buy it if she'd price match, she can't apparently!!

I disagree with the whole MLM concept anyway and don't really want to buy thru them

RampantIvy · 07/11/2021 22:38

You could have added that you are leaving your wallet at home. She does this because people don't have the balls to call her out.

HollowTalk · 07/11/2021 22:39

@NicLondon1

I'd just say "Do you mind if we arrange a pamper evening another time? Would love to just catch up and chat this weekend"
But she would hold her to that.

The last thing she needs is to say let's plan a pamper evening!

KrispyKremeDream · 07/11/2021 22:40

@NicLondon1

I'd just say "Do you mind if we arrange a pamper evening another time? Would love to just catch up and chat this weekend"
This.

Direct and breezy. I often think it causes more offence when you try and explain it delicately.

ChargingBuck · 07/11/2021 22:41

‘no pressure, it’s just a bit of fun, a treat for everyone’

"It's not a treat, it's a sales meeting. The treat is being on holiday together. I don't want a sales meeting taking over my holiday.
Pam, you need to re-think this. Ask people to your house or a neutral venue, not the holiday cottage everyone's paid for."

myheartskippedabeat · 07/11/2021 22:42

@youvegottenminuteslynn

Nice people don't push their mlms on to their friends' weekend away.

This. And they certainly don't have the brass neck to say "don't forget your wallets!"

I can't get over how dickish that is!

Exactly this Talk about how to loose friends and alienate people
Summerdayshaze · 07/11/2021 22:44

“It’s just not the time or the place, is it Cath. We want to leave everyone’s job at home and you asking us to bring our wallets very much is pressure. I’m sure you’ll see on reflection that selling things on a weekend away isn’t appropriate.”

She is just out of her mind. Awful. No way would I stand for that grasping, bullying, entitled bullshit.

pictish · 07/11/2021 22:47

@NicLondon1

I'd just say "Do you mind if we arrange a pamper evening another time? Would love to just catch up and chat this weekend"
Change it to…

“Do you mind arranging a pamper evening another time? Would love to just catch up and chat this weekend.”

Take the ‘we’ out of it because there’s no we when it comes to this rubbish. You’re not going to the other time either.

CrazyTimesAreOccurring · 07/11/2021 22:49

A bit of fun that costs time and money and no one asked for - and is a financial benefit to only her! Wow she has the bass neck to make it out that she is doing everyone a favour Shock

Not my idea of fun!

pictish · 07/11/2021 22:56

Just saw your update.

I may consider taking it that bit further by saying, “Telling us to ‘bring our wallets’ is not ‘no pressure’…it’s blatant pressure. It’s a no thank you from me.”

Viviennemary · 07/11/2021 22:56

Id tell her to arrange another time. Not on.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 07/11/2021 22:59

@pictish

Just saw your update.

I may consider taking it that bit further by saying, “Telling us to ‘bring our wallets’ is not ‘no pressure’…it’s blatant pressure. It’s a no thank you from me.”

Yep.
hollyhocksarenotmessy · 07/11/2021 23:00

Is it all arranged that the men fuck off to the pub and the women stay behind looking after the kids? That's shit for a start. Tackle that first. It could be that Mr MLM has presented it to them as'the ladies want us out of their hair so they can have a lovely pamper night'. Or maybe the men are being sexist dicks. Can you contact everyone going and say that there's an idea floating around that on Sat night the men are going out without the women - who arranged this as you'd rather you all had a house party at the cottage for everyone once the kids are in bed. What does everyone else think?

If it's got to be like that, then take it at face value (ha) as an attempt to arrange a nice evening for the women. 'Thanks X, we should think about what we want to do Sat night. X is suggesting a Body shop night, I'm suggesting we have a murder mystery night/Thelma and Louise drinking games night/(whatever it is you want) - has anyone else got any suggestions?

You need make it clear her idea is only one of many options, and it hasn't been decided yet. Worst case scenario is you have two groups of women doing 2 different things.

fuckyourpronouns · 07/11/2021 23:01

"Hi friend. This is a leisure get together, not a business one. Let's not mix it up eh?"

steppemum · 07/11/2021 23:02

@GreenClock

“Body Shop isn’t really my thing so I’ll be joining the men in the pub, but i hope you enjoy.”

I bet you won’t be the only woman from your group in the pub that night by the way.

She’s embarrassed herself. Cringey.

yes I'd go with something like this.

I don't use ANY perfumed products, Dove soap etc for me, as I am allergic. In principle I do not buy smellies as gifts unless it has been requested or I know for sure it is a favourite. So I would have zero time for a selling evening.

As soon as one person says - not for me, I bet others will follow

CallmeHendricks · 07/11/2021 23:03

Hang on. What are the timings here?
How long will there be between getting the kids in bed (not sure of ages) and sitting down to eat your other friend's delicious meal? And when are the men going to fit in getting to the pub?
I can't see how a MLM sales pitch pamper evening is going to be fitted in anyway.

Wauden · 07/11/2021 23:15

Too much plastic. I buy hand made soap bars and shampoo bars instead.

SquirtleSquad · 07/11/2021 23:17

Cheeky cow saying it's no pressure after telling you to bring your wallet Shock

supremelybaffled · 07/11/2021 23:18

I went to a BSAH party at a friend's house under sufferance last week after having successfully avoided similar invitations for about four years. The sales hun was the least pushy sales person I've ever met and has been involved with it for yonks, since before they ramped up the MLM side. So I bought a tube of hand cream and some soap, both of which I would periodically buy if I happened to be in a town with one of the shops anyway.

Thing is, I knew what I was walking into (which was mainly to see my friend, who I haven't seen since before Covid), and I went of my own free will. Stand your ground OP, and don't let this person hijack your weekend. It would really get on my tits.

YouokHun · 07/11/2021 23:21

[quote youvegottenminuteslynn]@AliceMcK

I think it’s very pushy but that’s how sales people make a living, by being pushy.

At work. They make a living doing that at work.

Are you part of an MLM?[/quote]
99.6% of sign ups to MLM don’t make a living, they make a loss. Those that make money do it the only way that is remotely possible; by recruiting everyone in sight regardless of the damage that will likely be done to those recruits. If any friend is hoping to make a living from MLM by selling product they have got a nasty expensive surprise coming their way. Have you seen how much product your friend is going to have to sell each month to even £200 in BSAH commission before expenses? Impossible, no wonder she’s desperate to sell anyway she can. No doubt she will move onto recruiting so that will be the next thing you have to deal with.

@Youngatheart00 you need your other sceptical friend to repeat the same message. I would say “no, it’s not fun or a treat, it’s not what the weekend is about”. Her DH may find he regrets supporting the business she doesn’t really have once he’s supplementing it.

LaurenKelsey · 07/11/2021 23:23

I wouldn’t participate in it. I just wouldn’t. I would be too resentful of someone trying to control me (my time, my money, my holiday) in that way. I wouldn’t worry about upsetting the CF either.

Cherrysoup · 07/11/2021 23:23

And again, you have to talk about the changed expectations. This is meant to be a relaxing weekend meeting u0 with mates after 2 years of lockdown/covid issues. It is NOT the time to push products none of us want. I’m horrified by this woman. ‘A bit of fun’?? No, you’re saying bring your wallets like you want to make money off your friends, totally changing the expectations of the weekend. Shameful. Tell her, OP!