Friend is hijacking our weekend away with her Body Shop shite

[Youngatheart00]

In a fortnights time DH and I are going away with some other friends for a weekend away in a cottage. One of my friends has recently joined the Body shop cult at home and has been pushing it any excuse she gets.

She’s now suggested the girls in the group have a ‘pamper evening’ which basically just means her trying to sell to us. Of the 8 of us, 2 have already said ‘great idea can’t wait’ and another ive spoken to isn’t keen on the products but wants to support her. I don’t want to fall out over this but I really don’t want to waste a Saturday night when I don’t agree with MLM and hate what it’s doing to my friend!!

How to approach this tactfully?

[quote youvegottenminuteslynn]@AliceMcK

Genuine question, don't you think it's unfair and incredibly presumptuous of OP's friend to try to add a Body Shop sale to their weekend away once it's already booked and say "don't forget your wallets!" to them? [/quote]
I think it’s very pushy but that’s how sales people make a living, by being pushy. But I also think the op and her friends are adults and in stead of whining and whispering behind her back they just say no, you know like they taught us in Grange Hill.

Personally I wouldnt have an issue with it especially if others in the group are keen to look at the products. If it meant cancelling plans to do a “pamper night” that would be different, but if they are all just chilling in the cottage I can not see an issue with it.

I just cannot ever imagine being so easily reprogrammed that I’d start openly trying to make money out of close friends and acquaintances. It sounds awful.

What sort of a friend is she otherwise, op? I always imagine that people who do this must not really “get” friendship.

What would piss me off the most is that the DH get to run off into town. No way would I tolerate that!

A pamper evening is splitting the group.

Thanks Pam, but I’d prefer that we don’t chase all the DH off down the pub! Let’s all have a catch up together (or who is going to look after the DC’s as if it pub it pamper, I’m pub - sorry!).
Save it for another time. X

@AliceMcK

I think it’s very pushy but that’s how sales people make a living, by being pushy.

At work. They make a living doing that at work.

Are you part of an MLM?

These MLMs become as invasive as Japanese Knotweed. I've stopped going to some of the local village fairs and events because they've been utterly taken over by BSAH, Usbourne, Tropic, Neals Yard, Scentsy and that aloe juice one.

I feel sorry for the local crafters and artists that lose their footfall because people just aren't interested in navigating past the usual suspects and their hard sell/quiet desperation.

Shame on your friend for putting you and your friends in this position. So selfish.

@BoredZelda

And because I don’t have a problem with women making money by selling body shop and have a differing opinion to you, I’m a what exactly?

A fool for thinking anyone is earning any money selling body shop and even if they are, it is likely to be way, way, below minimum wage for the hours of effort they have to put in to make a sale. Which means the people running the show (including the uplines who signed her) are basically taking money out of her pocket for their own gain.

She’s an adult and that’s her choice. If op thinks her friend is being taken advantage of, instead of slagging her off maybe she should explain to her why she didn’t agree with their whole business model.

The "don't forget your wallets!" bit is something I still can't get over. The sheer nerve of it would make me forget worrying about tactful ways to respond. It's sheer CFery, and I'd remind her that it's a holiday and to leave her business at home.

[quote youvegottenminuteslynn]@AliceMcK

I think it’s very pushy but that’s how sales people make a living, by being pushy.

At work. They make a living doing that at work.

Are you part of an MLM?[/quote]
No I’m not. Im just someone who obviously has a different opinion to you.

@AliceMcK I've worked in sales all my life and never taken massive advantage of my friends. Never asked them to spend their money on shite they don't want because it's awkward to say no to me. Never encroached on their time together for my own gain.

I also don't want a pamper party. Not being a 7 year old.

Nice people don't push their mlms on to their friends' weekend away. Boundaries. Not being a selfish tw@t. Those sort of things.

Nice people don't push their mlms on to their friends' weekend away.

This. And they certainly don't have the brass neck to say "don't forget your wallets!"

I can't get over how dickish that is!

When Dd was small I signed up for BSAH. I'd been to a party, wanted a bit of extra cash. I'd never heard of MLM or anything that.
It was awful. I hated it, couldn't bear asking people to buy things and found it all excruciating. It ended up costing me about £300. I've never stepped in a body shop since. One of my colleagues signed up for it, I tried to warn her but she was having none of it, foolish girl.

If it's a big group of you then you can't really control what everyone does, but it's totally fine to say no to stuff. I wouldn't be honest with her, but then I'm a wuss. I'd just say "it's not really my thing, but you lot have fun". If pressed on it I would probably just say that you aren't into MLMs. It may cause an argument at that point but that's up to her.

[quote MeredithGreyishblue]@AliceMcK I've worked in sales all my life and never taken massive advantage of my friends. Never asked them to spend their money on shite they don't want because it's awkward to say no to me. Never encroached on their time together for my own gain.

I also don't want a pamper party. Not being a 7 year old.

Nice people don't push their mlms on to their friends' weekend away. Boundaries. Not being a selfish tw@t. Those sort of things.[/quote]
Then as I’ve already said, instead of slag their “friend” off, just say no.

Ok signing off this thread now, I’ve given my opinion several times and the post is obviously getting derailed because I dare to have a differing opinion to everyone else.

I mean if the CF hun has the brass neck to do this on a friends' weekend away, where does she draw the line?

Friend's wedding - after the best man's speech we have a special appearance from the hun?

At her grandma's on Christmas Day?

Awful!

I would be pissed off cos I hate all that pamper shit that women are 'supposed' to like. I couldn't think of a more boring way to spend an evening.

It's not getting derailed @AliceMcK

This is a discussion forum. People are allowed to disagree with you and vice versa.

MLMs are a predatory business model that makes people lose friends and money. That's why 98% of people (stat from the FTC, using the income disclosures from MLMs who shared their data - aka the ones with the least to hide) make no money after they join MLMs.

The BSAH parties I’ve been too, only the host gets a pampering anyway. Hardly a pamper evening.

Like I said before, I would honestly play the wallet line on this one. It’s pure rudeness to say that to friends, Best way to call her out.

I'd tackle it fairly directly. Say no I won't be doing this and I am saddened that you have hijacked our first weekend away since covid to try and get money off your friends.

Say you are not interested in pyramid scheme products. That you have no interest in the body shop. Then do whatever you wanted to do, games drinking wine and chatting and ignore it.

@Crinkle77

I would be pissed off cos I hate all that pamper shit that women are 'supposed' to like. I couldn't think of a more boring way to spend an evening.

Same here. I can’t drum up any enthusiasm for body scrub and moisturiser. Hand cream…who cares? Lip balm…got some thanks. Bollocks to that.

Everybody is posting about how OP can just say "she doesnt want to buy any" and go sit somewhere else... but i dont think OPs problem is just that she doesnt want to buy body shop products, OPs problem is that this was meant to a friends night that has been overtaken by the body shop party.. so yes, she doent have to buy of courwe... but that doesnt mean the night has been salvaged

She’s an adult and that’s her choice. If op thinks her friend is being taken advantage of, instead of slagging her off maybe she should explain to her why she didn’t agree with their whole business model.

Choice is an interesting word here. I guess you think anyone who takes work in a sweatshop for less than minimum wage is making a choice too? Or people who join a cult? Because both those things apply to MLMs.

Anyone who has tried to talk to someone in the grip of an MLM and reason with them has found that it is largely a waste of time.

In one or two or five years time, when this woman has maxed out her credit card or used up all her savings to buy catalogues and product so she can stay on superduper gold status and just can’t do it any more, she will look back on the friends she lost by pushing “business” on to her friends who finally got sick of her and just stopped inviting her, and be very embarrassed by her actions.

And you are willing to support a woman who is in this predicament?

@Newbabynewhouse

Everybody is posting about how OP can just say "she doesnt want to buy any" and go sit somewhere else... but i dont think OPs problem is just that she doesnt want to buy body shop products, OPs problem is that this was meant to a friends night that has been overtaken by the body shop party.. so yes, she doent have to buy of courwe... but that doesnt mean the night has been salvaged

Yes. Disregarding the MLM aspect, one member of the group has decided to dictate how the rest are going to spend their evening whether they want to or not which is in itself incredibly unreasonable.

Ok, I’ve tackled it (well, tried)

I messaged her separately taking the angle of a) time (as mentioned upthread) and b) money

I effectively said I don’t think she should be pressuring people to buy when two of us (not me) as on stat mat pay and we’ve already spent a lot on the weekend and will do on the food and activities that we are doing as a group

She responded saying ‘no pressure, it’s just a bit of fun, a treat for everyone’ and I pointed out that everyone already has the link to her ‘shop’ (200 times 🤨) so if they want to order they can do there.

She’s not replied since….probably in a huff

If no-one was interested, I'd feel okay about speaking up and telling her it's not a good time for a pamper party , but since some of the people do want to do that, it's not so easy.

I'd probably try to feel out which people aren't interested and arrange to do something else, well away from the others, lest you all get sucked in against your will. I'd go ahead and figure it out before the night.

@RunningScarabbed I honestly don’t think anyone IS keen, it’s just they are trying to be supportive, plus this one friend is quite forceful.

A true pamper night which is relaxing may well appeal but the reality is it’s a hard sell dressed up as a pamper night