Friend is hijacking our weekend away with her Body Shop shite

[Youngatheart00]

In a fortnights time DH and I are going away with some other friends for a weekend away in a cottage. One of my friends has recently joined the Body shop cult at home and has been pushing it any excuse she gets.

She’s now suggested the girls in the group have a ‘pamper evening’ which basically just means her trying to sell to us. Of the 8 of us, 2 have already said ‘great idea can’t wait’ and another ive spoken to isn’t keen on the products but wants to support her. I don’t want to fall out over this but I really don’t want to waste a Saturday night when I don’t agree with MLM and hate what it’s doing to my friend!!

How to approach this tactfully?

So grim. She’s clearly very thick skinned or desperate if she thinks this is appropriate, let alone doable in an evening slot between getting back from the day out and having a relaxed dinner, when there are children to feed and bathe?

Agree with others that you need to just opt out and don’t need to give a reason, as she will surely see reasons as a chance to change your mind.

Don’t join to be polite. Don’t buy anything to be polite. Don’t suggest doing it another time as she’ll take that as merely a postponement and book in a sesh the following week.

Do warn DH about avoiding her sales, either for you or the big range of men’s products I’m sure she’ll bring.

I think you have to be pretty direct (and polite). Any "sorry" type response leaves holes for the hun to jump in.

Remember CFs get away with it because people are too scared to challenge them.

Say
Look, it's not my thing, and I thought we were going away for the weekend to catch up, not to be sold products. If others are interested fine, but I'll be going to the pub if anyone wants to join me.

Look, it's not my thing, and I thought we were going away for the weekend to catch up, not to be sold products. If others are interested fine, but I'll be going to the pub if anyone wants to join me.

👍

I think she has given you a get out in the "bring your wallets" line. You can just say directly that you aren't interesting in buying anything so won't be participating. She has removed the pretence that is anything but a sales opportunity herself.

@CtrlU

Either don’t go for the weekend away or when the pamper party is happening - excuse yourself somewhere else.

The cottage is surely not in the middle of nowhere. And if it is where there’s no option to do/ go somewhere else for the evening - even more reason to stay home

why should she?

@sonjadog

I think she has given you a get out in the "bring your wallets" line. You can just say directly that you aren't interesting in buying anything so won't be participating. She has removed the pretence that is anything but a sales opportunity herself.

yes but if she intends to take over the living space that's not fair....if she MUST do it she should use her bedroom and leave the rest of the cottage free

I'm so looking forward to this weekend and, I don't want to be rude, but can we not spend Saturday being sold stuff? I think a pamper evening is a great idea but let's do it another time, this weekend I just really want to catch up with you all!

Given that there are at least three of you who don’t want to do this I think the above answer is a good one. When you put it in the group chat you will get back up from the others. It really isn’t difficult to be polite and honest.

I'm so looking forward to this weekend and, I don't want to be rude, but can we not spend Saturday being sold stuff? I think a pamper evening is a great idea but let's do it another time, this weekend I just really want to catch up with you all!

Although, I like this ^^ answer even better

yes but if she intends to take over the living space that's not fair....if she MUST do it she should use her bedroom and leave the rest of the cottage free

That's a GREAT suggestion. Then mugs can go and shop but everyone else doesn't have to.

Do you have a group chat? I’d say on it

‘I’m going to the pub as this isn’t my thing, if anyone else wants to join we’ll be leaving after dinner’.

Fuck that. No way I would be going near a cringey pamper/sales session with this absolutely CF friend. Awful of her to put everyone on the spot like that.

Hopefully it’ll just be her surrounded by her shite.

I don't think your response is strong enough. The 'don't forget your wallets' comment would really piss me off.

I go with the 'not for me, thank you. I don't want to be subjected to a sales pitch on a weekend away with friends. I'll be down the pub if anyone wants to join me.'

@Youngatheart00

I’m not sure how she’s planning to run it. I’ve been subjected to one of these ‘parties’ before, a few years ago (with another friend who was in to it for about 5 mins before realising she was losing money not making it)

She’s literally now posted on our group that she’ll be ‘taking orders for gifts so don’t forget your wallet ladies’ - I am pretty pissed off that a group of great friends getting together for the first time since pre covid is being used as a sales opportunity

Just be honest. Say to her that you hope her new business goes well but you don’t support body shop, or any other MLM, so need to be upfront you won’t be taking part and won’t be buying

@RampantIvy

I'm so looking forward to this weekend and, I don't want to be rude, but can we not spend Saturday being sold stuff? I think a pamper evening is a great idea but let's do it another time, this weekend I just really want to catch up with you all!

Given that there are at least three of you who don’t want to do this I think the above answer is a good one. When you put it in the group chat you will get back up from the others. It really isn’t difficult to be polite and honest.

I'm so looking forward to this weekend and, I don't want to be rude, but can we not spend Saturday being sold stuff? I think a pamper evening is a great idea but let's do it another time, this weekend I just really want to catch up with you all!

Although, I like this ^^ answer even better

Aren’t they the same!?

Take wine, drink plenty, remind your DH and kids you don't want those presents as Christmas gifts before she has a quiet word and spends their budgets in your Christmas surprises

@mockingjaye

You don't have to buy anything. Just enjoy a pamper evening together.

The OP doesn't want to go to a pamper evening. It's supposed to be a weekend break with friends, not an opportunity to wonder why anyone ever buys anything as stiff as body butter.

Sorry just read your reply and wanted to say , I would offer too help cook as well.
Just say you already have xmas sorted and won't be buying, so don't want to stop others having a gander.
When I hear MLM I always think scam ,

@Youngatheart00

Those pointing out I DO have an issue are right, god, we do fall over ourselves to be polite and not offend. Ironically I’m quite matter of fact at work but I just don’t like upsetting friends.

Another of the group has just replied using the skin allergy line 🤣

Then DO something

“Don’t shoot the messenger etc etc, but there are only 2 interested in this and the rest would prefer we just stick to relaxing and not being sold to.”

I thought this was a weekend holiday not a fucking tupperware party on tour! Leave it till another time please x, if anyone is keen.

Got a friend who does Scentsy - told her from the off it isn't my thing. Job done.
God l love getting older and having confidence to say this kind of thing.

@Ihaventgottimeforthis

I thought this was a weekend holiday not a fucking tupperware party on tour! Leave it till another time please x, if anyone is keen.

Come to think of it, I could do with some new tupperware.

It's really horrible that she is seeing that weekend as a way of getting money out of you all. You have to deal with it now by WhatsApp message rather than in person on the day.

She'll be hyperventilating by that point anticipating all the money she's going to be earning. If you stop her in her tracks at that point she may explode.

I wouldn't say leave it for another day as that's just putting off the day of doom.

I’d be really pissed off about this. I’d make it clear that I didn’t think it was appropriate to use the occasion to sell and that I wouldn’t be buying. I’d be cheerful and pleasant about it of course but she certainly wouldn’t be maintaining any illusion of me as a willing customer.

She is being extremely rude.

What a load of drama.

I'd deal with this by saying ' sorry, I don't want to be sold to and I don't like network marketing so please count me out'

Just be matter of fact. I can't bear these stupid half wits who think they're going to make a fortune when all that'll happen is they'll alienate their friends and family

"bloody hell you're not going to be doing the hard sell are you? I thought we were going on holiday!"

Yeah @Howshouldibehave. I meant this ^^

It really needs to be as direct as this. If done in a jokey manner it shouldn't cause any friendship issues.

God I am bored stiff by toiletries even when I need to buy some. I’m all Simple skincare, Pears soap and L’Oréal shampoo. I’ve got plenty of make up. I don’t want or need anything else.
This overbearing friend and her hijack would really push my buttons. Brass-necked as fuck.