Page 10 | Friend is hijacking our weekend away with her Body Shop shite

Youngatheart00 · 2021-11-07T15:44:56+00:00

In a fortnights time DH and I are going away with some other friends for a weekend away in a cottage. One of my friends has recently joined the Body shop --cult-- at home and has been pushing it any excuse she gets. She’s now suggested the girls in the group have a ‘pamper evening’ which basically just means her trying to sell to us. Of the 8 of us, 2 have already said ‘great idea can’t wait’ and another ive spoken to isn’t keen on the products but wants to support her. I don’t want to fall out over this but I really don’t want to waste a Saturday night when I don’t agree with MLM and hate what it’s doing to my friend!! How to approach this tactfully?

ThorsLeftNut · 07/11/2021 18:25

@WorraLiberty

How to approach this tactfully?

Don't, just tell her straight what you've told us.

This -

Sorry, I don’t like these MLM type business’s but I’ve I’m ever interested in a product I’ll let you know!

Diverseopinions · 07/11/2021 18:25

I think I'd say I've got something else planned, but that you want to buy a couple of things for teaching assistants at school. That way you're in the driving seat saying " I don't go for all this 'pamper pretext' and being made to feel awkward - I'll buy something on my terms".

Then, if she speaks to you later and says that if you'd gone it would have looked as if you are supporting it, so more girls would have jumped on the bandwagon, say " Well, I'm not really supporting it, and I think it's bad taste to push it on people. You can't really mix business and friendship - and you would have said that, a while back, and if it had been one of the other girls".

DerAlteMann · 07/11/2021 18:27

@GreenClock

“Body Shop isn’t really my thing so I’ll be joining the men in the pub, but i hope you enjoy.”

I bet you won’t be the only woman from your group in the pub that night by the way.

She’s embarrassed herself. Cringey.

This.

user1481840227 · 07/11/2021 18:31

@SnoopyLights

Perhaps reply and say "X do you really want to be working on our weekend away, it's our first group meet up in months and we should all just be enjoying it. You'll have to bring all your stock with you and you probably won't even have time to set it all up and show it all off since we'll be out while 6pm, then sorting the kids, we'll probably all be too rushed and tired, and Y and Z have already said they are cooking for us all that night and we're eating at 8:30pm. Why don't you just forget about work and relax and enjoy the weekend like the rest of us. You can arrange a sales night for another time with any of the group who want to take part?"

Definitely don't say that!

She'll say "I don't mind working at all, it's not work because we'll all be having so much girly fun getting pampered and buying gifts" or some other variation of that nonsense!

It makes it sound like she's offered to do a nice thing, when she hasn't!

SirensofTitan · 07/11/2021 18:32

@Diverseopinions

I think I'd say I've got something else planned, but that you want to buy a couple of things for teaching assistants at school. That way you're in the driving seat saying " I don't go for all this 'pamper pretext' and being made to feel awkward - I'll buy something on my terms".

Then, if she speaks to you later and says that if you'd gone it would have looked as if you are supporting it, so more girls would have jumped on the bandwagon, say " Well, I'm not really supporting it, and I think it's bad taste to push it on people. You can't really mix business and friendship - and you would have said that, a while back, and if it had been one of the other girls".

Don't do that, that would be falling right into her trap. She'll see that as a win, she'd have guilted you into buying something you had no intention of spending on and that's exactly what she wants.

And rather patronising to TAs

tallduckandhandsome · 07/11/2021 18:32

@CtrlU

Although I came here to make suggestions to the OP; you are obviously bored tonight and need some attention so I’ll give you your 5 mins before I get on with way more important things

Making suggestions or urging OP to be a doormat? I think the latter.

-Nobody but YOU suggested the OP locking herself in the bedroom. I simply suggested if she doesn’t want to join the pamper party she can use it as an excuse to do something else.

Where else would OP go in a cottage holiday if you’re suggesting she separates herself from the group? Options are limited.

Choosing to go to the pub, going out to eat or something else she may enjoy is hardly wasting money is it? It’s choosing to spend her time doing something She would enjoy rather than sitting in the room, bored listening to sales tactics and reason‘s why to buy the products.

Well it is since she booked the weekend thinking she was going to spend time with her friends, not subjected to a pyramid scheme MLM.

Now find someone else to debate with. I certainly don’t care to discuss anything with you. I’m here replying to the OP.

If you’re going to act all faux naive saying ‘what am I missing?’ then of course people will respond to you.

There’s always one hmm

Yes, and that is you, which you know as you asked for your post to be deleted.

Original poster

Youngatheart00 · 07/11/2021 18:32

Those pointing out I DO have an issue are right, god, we do fall over ourselves to be polite and not offend. Ironically I’m quite matter of fact at work but I just don’t like upsetting friends.

Another of the group has just replied using the skin allergy line 🤣

OP posts:

TeenMinusTests · 07/11/2021 18:33

Hi. As much as I wish you well with your enterprise, I'm not convinced it is a good idea to mix business with pleasure. I would prefer to keep the weekend as planned as a relaxing get together without any pressure to buy things.

HundredMilesAnHour · 07/11/2021 18:35

Rather than all this dancing around the issue, I'd speak to the others going and get their thoughts. If they were also not keen, I'd get them all to say on the message group that they don't want an evening of MLM masquerading as pampering.

If some/all of them were keen to go ahead, I'd just message to say count me out, I don't agree with MLM and I boycott the Body Shop anyway after their treatment of JK Rowling.

TellingBone · 07/11/2021 18:35

Any MLM hun worth her salt would see your response message as an enthusiastic 'Yes please!' OP.

Well; it's your Saturday night you're wasting.

Berthatydfil · 07/11/2021 18:36

Can you message
Hi friend I wish you success in your business but to be honest Im looking forward to enjoy a relaxing weekend away after COVID and I sure the others are too. I can’t see how your suggestion is going to fit in with the rest of the plans for the weekend.

Cherrysoup · 07/11/2021 18:37

Honestly, easiest way to escape the horror is to be honest re it’s your first weekend away and it’s not the time to be selling stuff during your first time together. I think she’s disgraceful doing this, insanely cheeky.

TolkiensFallow · 07/11/2021 18:38

I wouldn’t offer to look after the kids or cook!

I absolutely hate this sort of thing and would probably just say “Sorry mate but I don’t really enjoy this sort of thing and have ethical issues with mlm so I’m going to sit it out this time”

Others will feel the same and you’ll probably find someone fancies a bottle of Prosecco in the pub with you!

Brefugee · 07/11/2021 18:38

Stamp down on the über British politeness and say "no, i want to enjoy a weekend away with my friends, we haven't done this for yonks and by the way I'm not interested in any MLM stuff."

and i echo pp who said to warn your husband (and the other husbands) not to support it either.

HollowTalk · 07/11/2021 18:38

Can't you just say "bloody hell you're not going to be doing the hard sell are you? I thought we were going on holiday!"

iwannabelikeyouhoohoo · 07/11/2021 18:39

If other people want to do that, that’s fine-I’ll pass though, it’s not really my thing and I’ve already spent enough money recently!

Perfect. Firm, not getting in anyone else’s way, and a great opener for anyone else cringing to say “yeah me too.”

WickedWitchOfTheTrent · 07/11/2021 18:39

I would be honest

Sorry girls, it's not my thing, appreciate you're running a business X but I'm away for a nice break, I just don't fancy a hard sell. I'll give it a miss this time round

RantyAunty · 07/11/2021 18:40

I'm glad others are opting out.

Nobody wants to do that shit on holiday.

Diverseopinions · 07/11/2021 18:41

I don't mean to be patronising to TAs, but it is the only group of people/friends for whom I'm likely to buy generic sort of presents which everyone is bound to need, but reflecting the fact that I don't know their taste. I think Body Shop stuff is nice and a good gift to be given, if a decent size and quality. But then, my situation is a bit different because my son, having autism, was always working closely with TAs at school,and so it was the norm to buy a gift for his one-to-one or the TAs in his small class of seven pupils.

I guess, if you're a friend, a true friend, it does behove you to do something to help her, or not make her feel like a sap when you opt out and make your absence felt, by being the only one.

But then, someone needs to tell her afterwards that it is particularly bad taste because the friends are a captive audience, being stuck together away from home.

BoredZelda · 07/11/2021 18:43

I’m surprised so many are suggesting just to make up an excuse. Just be honest. I’d rather a weekend away wasn’t hijacked as a sales opportunity for a scam.

minou123 · 07/11/2021 18:44

@Youngatheart00

Those pointing out I DO have an issue are right, god, we do fall over ourselves to be polite and not offend. Ironically I’m quite matter of fact at work but I just don’t like upsetting friends.

Another of the group has just replied using the skin allergy line 🤣

See, it's not just you.

Rookie mistake using the skin allergy line: bet she comes back with loads of shite about products being good for all skins etc

CrazyTimesAreOccurring · 07/11/2021 18:45

@Youngatheart00

Those pointing out I DO have an issue are right, god, we do fall over ourselves to be polite and not offend. Ironically I’m quite matter of fact at work but I just don’t like upsetting friends.

Another of the group has just replied using the skin allergy line 🤣

That will just invite her to explain how many allergies have been shown to not be affected, how it's vegan...how this how that....

Just all be honest. It will come to that in the end anyway

MeredithGreyishblue · 07/11/2021 18:45

@Diverseopinions

I don't mean to be patronising to TAs, but it is the only group of people/friends for whom I'm likely to buy generic sort of presents which everyone is bound to need, but reflecting the fact that I don't know their taste. I think Body Shop stuff is nice and a good gift to be given, if a decent size and quality. But then, my situation is a bit different because my son, having autism, was always working closely with TAs at school,and so it was the norm to buy a gift for his one-to-one or the TAs in his small class of seven pupils.

I guess, if you're a friend, a true friend, it does behove you to do something to help her, or not make her feel like a sap when you opt out and make your absence felt, by being the only one.

But then, someone needs to tell her afterwards that it is particularly bad taste because the friends are a captive audience, being stuck together away from home.

Buying from a BSAH victim isn't helping her or being a good friend. It's prolonging the torture.

Don't support MLMs full stop

mockingjaye · 07/11/2021 18:46

You don't have to buy anything. Just enjoy a pamper evening together.

MrsTerryPratchett · 07/11/2021 18:46

@Youngatheart00

Those pointing out I DO have an issue are right, god, we do fall over ourselves to be polite and not offend. Ironically I’m quite matter of fact at work but I just don’t like upsetting friends.

Another of the group has just replied using the skin allergy line 🤣

I think if this gets challenged I'd jump in with a 'well it's hard to refuse tactfully so...' Make sure you back up the other refusers.

I've been ripped off by one friend repeatedly over the years. Thank goodness we don't see her now she's divorced (we got her DH in the divorce).