Friend is hijacking our weekend away with her Body Shop shite

[Youngatheart00]

In a fortnights time DH and I are going away with some other friends for a weekend away in a cottage. One of my friends has recently joined the Body shop cult at home and has been pushing it any excuse she gets.

She’s now suggested the girls in the group have a ‘pamper evening’ which basically just means her trying to sell to us. Of the 8 of us, 2 have already said ‘great idea can’t wait’ and another ive spoken to isn’t keen on the products but wants to support her. I don’t want to fall out over this but I really don’t want to waste a Saturday night when I don’t agree with MLM and hate what it’s doing to my friend!!

How to approach this tactfully?

Also would never buy toiletries et al as a gift. Boring.

Don’t worry about offending her - she’s shown that she’s not interested in the friendships, and is only interested in making money from you all.

Any couples without kids are free to do what they like. At least one parent from each family should stay in though as they can't dump their kids on those without. As Pp have said your response OP is far too apologetic and nice.
Dear friend, I don't want to waste an evening away having a pamper session unless it is at a very expensive spa with saunas and fully qualified staff. Thanks for your offer but I don't and won't be supporting MLMs at any time. My plan is kids in bed, great meal, great company, a great laugh, cards games, board games and plenty of alcohol.

I think you need to be more direct and honest. Tactful and nice will not work.

"I value your friendship and am really looking forward to our holiday together but it would really spoil it for me for one of our two precious evenings together to be turned into a sales pitch opportunity like this. Any chance you could do your pamper evening for (friends who said yes) on a different night that's not part of our holiday?"

Omg! I have a friend like this. A few months ago it was the flipping juice diet mlm. Every single ruddy post on fb was a selling pitch for it. Lots of pouty pics of how good hee skin was now she ate handfuls of their gummies. Now she has gone quiet with that company she has moved on to Body Shop and every fecking post is a sales pitch for them. Even today she said how she was going out for a walk to enjoy the fresh air but not before she used 3 products (mascara, lip gloss and eyeshadow) to give her a healthy look!! Ffs just walk a bit faster and the healthy look will be there!! It is so fecking annoying!!

Depending on your go-to tone:

“Beverley, pretty sure we’re all bringing wallets for pub pints and a roast, not to do Christmas shopping chores – it’s a mini break! Leave your business at home, please, and actually, let’s all promise not to talk shop – God knows I’m looking forward to some respite from Reginald’s “life at the DVLA” updates.”

“But your company is pamper enough, babes 😘 – let’s give shop talk a miss, I’m dying to hear the latest on your sciatica.”

“Dude, I love you like a sister but if you bring MLM to my first holiday in yonks I’ll put extra tannins in your red wine and hog the loo in the morning, give it a rest please xx”

"I'm not interested in attending a sales event on my holiday, I'll be at the pub with the others. Thanks for understanding."

Don't bloody apologise for rejecting her exploitation - it makes out you're the one in the wrong for saying no!

The males in the group will be drinking and playing pool probably. The worst thing is the husband of the MLM friend is on the bandwagon too

Cool. That means there's a space in the pub to play pool.

Sorted.

@Youngatheart00

Those pointing out I DO have an issue are right, god, we do fall over ourselves to be polite and not offend. Ironically I’m quite matter of fact at work but I just don’t like upsetting friends.

Another of the group has just replied using the skin allergy line 🤣

Is it a different one to the one who messaged you asking about getting out of it? Cos if it is, you've got to be pretty close to a critical mass who definitely don't want to do it?

For goodness sake. Prime the other friends who don't fancy it and just say no together!

“It’s a kind offer Sue but if I’m being honest it’s not really my thing so I’ll opt out and leave you to it.”

Yes…do NOT say anything like, “Sorry but…” - you are not sorry…you have nothing to be sorry for! A polite but firm no without an apology will do. As soon as one says “sorry” it implicates fault. In this case the fault lies with the Body Shop pest.

Sorry, not my thing or no thanks, not for me. Be honest.

@hotmeatymilk 🤣🤣

The pressure will mount if you're the last to say you're not interested. Don't apologise, don't thank her for the thought or opportunity, don't suggest an alternative time, don't act as though it's a big deal or you've given it much thought.

Oh no! The comment about 'dont forget to bring your wallets' is just awful. I really feel for you. I would just say it's not my thing or that I am fully stocked for products. You guys carry on, have fun. I'll pop down the pub and catch up with you all later. Xxxx

Also I think the quicker you shut it down the better, AND the better you’ll feel. Think of sending a dumping text or ripping a plaster off: feel sick as you do it, cover your eyes while you hit the send button, but you’ll feel soooooo much better saying “Oh Christ no, horrid idea – let’s just get trolleyed as planned.”

The minute you hear the ‘bloop’ of your sent message (or whatever sound you have), neck a massive wine and let boozey relief wash over you.

I’d have already replied by now and just been honest. ‘Sorry really looking forward to catching up with everyone but not interested in purchasing body shop products or a pamper session to be honest. Would rather just relax, chat and put the world to rights with food and drinks.’

It will get harder the longer you leave it.

Can guarantee once you post you are not interested others will follow too.

Be blunt

"I was hoping to use this weekend to catch up with friends, not to buy from body shop at home. I know some of the others feel the same as I do. I'm sure we can still have a great time doing other activities."

Or send her a link to this thread!

Dear Betty (or actual name)

lets keep work out of a weekend away
I promise that Bob won't do any rectal cleansing (hard to stop him- he is so passionate)
I won't lecture you all about sewage waste disposal
Brenda won't offer you tax advice, luckily Sally won't be reporting you to her employer HMRC for tax evasion.
Jane might be called into emergency splinter removal after the children play in the woods but will stop short of open heart surgery

We all remember when David did dental surgery on my kitchen table but we were students and whilst it was funny at the time with hindsight it wants the best move and the ambulance arriving after the haemorrhage put us all of mixing work with alcohol.

All the best Youngatheart

I wouldn't use the 'no issues with this' but because you DO have an issue with it (rightly so) and if she pushes her luck on the evening and you push back, she will say well you said there was no issue with it. I would maybe go with something like...

"I feel uncomfortable saying this as it's a bit awkward but this is a weekend away that we've really looked forward to, and we really didn't want it to involve sales pitches or product trials... If you want to sort a pamper evening then I would really appreciate you doing it another time and asking people if they'd like to come rather than adding it to a pre-planned trip. We've budgeted for the weekend so things like 'don't forget your wallets' makes things feel awkward even before we've arrived. I'm sure you understand."

(ps at least 2 of those are true)

Alternatively you could agree to it but actually rope in all the attendees to stage an intervention: standing up one at a time to say, “Agnes, you’re embarrassing yourself” and “We’re here to help you escape from the pyramid scheme”. “We’ll help you dump all this crap in the recycling and become a normal person again, one who likes wine and not selling stuff to their friends.”

"I don't want a pamper session. I just want a happy weekend with good food, good wine and my mates."

"I am limiting who I buy for this year and I've already finished buying presents this year as I'm on a tighter budget than usual."

and

"I don't believe in the ethics and beliefs of the body shop anymore"

and

"I'm sorry, I'm washing my hair and reading a good book that night, sorry".