When did you feel at your loneliest?

[Bananabspl]

I feel SO fucking lonely. 30s, single. This morning I went to the supermarket and was offered a gift voucher for ten percent off, only for the assistant to follow up asking if they were my children (at the trolly next to me). I said no and she said I wasn’t entitled to the voucher!

I got in the car and sobbed. Don’t care about money off but I feel like the world is made up for families and I am the odd one out.

Anyone else? I feel shit.

I felt loneliest on maternity leave with a young baby.

When I was on a sunlounger on holiday which had a table and another next to it (no individual ones) and told to leave because they could use both spaces if I wasn't there... gee thanks!

God it’s horrible feeling lonely OP, sorry you feel like that.
For me it was when I was recovering from breast cancer and no one seemed to understand how my mental health had taken a real bashing. Happily married but Dh seemed to think I was being a drama Queen or attention seeking or something
I felt like I was losing my mind and I was totally on my own with it.

I'm really sorry to hear you're feeling lonely OP it's a horrible feeling.

I felt most lonely when I left university and started working, having been so used to being surrounded by friends all of the time! I've found it hard to accept that friendships naturally change/drift with age and often feel a bit lonely, even though I have a lovely DP. I think social media doesn't help - when I was young I was oblivious to the fact that people were having fun without me () but now I'm fully aware every time I'm not involved with something! I do think loneliness is really common though. Some of my most outgoing friends who seem to be constantly surrounded by people have confessed to me that they feel lonely. Not sure what the answer is though...

Not being noticed for 3 days without contact. I have a best friend (in her 60's but very sleepy) and a Sister who is run off her feet with a four year old, four month old and 2 dogs. I know they both love me but it doesn't stop me wanting to find a way to stop my hurt when I have no answer.

My Mum died 9 years ago and Dad is a shit or unreliable. You know the story.

Share the story with a friend over text message if you can. Go to your GP if too. I personally post and look at pictures of whippets on Insta. It sounds mad but it is what makes me happy so I do it.

Single with 3 kids and one a newborn baby. Very shortly after that I went on to meet my husband and have another baby.

After my husband died. Surrounded by people, but none of them him. It was horrendous and still is sometimes, to be honest. It's very hard to have found your person, your home in the world, and have it snatched away.

This year has been my loneliest. I've had 3 major bereavements and my life has changed in huge ways. I have lots of lovely friends and a great sister but at times I have felt lonely to my bones. It's starting to ease now but it's such a difficult emotion to navigate

I felt truly alone twice in my life. When I found out exh of 20 years was cheating on me and when my Mum died. When ex cheated I had 3 children, close family and many friends but still felt utterly alone. When Mum died I was sat with my 4 sisters and Mum. I felt empty and totally alone. The lonely feelings will pass.

I'm sorry that hit you so hard, op
I was at my loneliest when I split up with my abusive ex. I lived alone, hundreds of miles from my family, and he'd managed to ensure I had no friendships outside of the relationship.

After I lost my Mom. Lovely family and friends, happy career, wonderful boyfriend, but still feel lonely 2 years later. I would just like to speak to her again. So many things have happened that I just want to tell her…even small things.

At university. I could go several days without speaking to a single person.

A the moment. Trapped in a loveless marriage and trying not to fuck up my children's lives. I'd give anything to be you, OP. To be free.

Interesting question. I think probably throughout my early-mid/late 20s. I left a very unsuitable relationship, lived in a city I didn’t want to be in and had barely any friends there, hated my job which was mind-numbingly boring and wasn’t pursuing what I wanted from life. I then moved to the city I wanted to be in and started to get a foot in the door of my chosen career but my first job in that sector was utterly toxic and I was insidiously bullied. The next few years consisted of moving through various house shares and freelance work, struggling with mental health issues, until I finally got a decent role. Ironically, I felt far less lonely when I started living alone - I developed some kind of inner peace and a feeling of being more settled as by that time my friendships had grown stronger having known people for a few years. For me, loneliness coincided with my life feeling like it wasn’t going how I wanted so I struggled to make good connections as I felt down a lot of the time. I hate to say it but money was also a factor in that once I earned enough to have my own place I felt more secure in my life and able to invest in friendships and connections around me.

After a late loss.

I felt empty physically (baby gone) and i felt very alone. DH was going through the pain of it too, but it's different. He needed to carry on with life to blot it out. I just couldn't do that.

A lot of my 'friends' avoided me. I didn't even have 'me' iykwim? I was changed forever. 9 years on and i'm still a bit different than i was before the grief and loneliness of that time.

OP

When I was 16-22.

Left home and had to work. Worked at a place where I was largely in an office on my own or with my arsehole of a boss.

I had no real friends, the ones I did have just used to low level bully me. I think I went on about 10 nights out in all that time.

I remember getting the bus home from work on my 18th birthday, walking past a pub and seeing people with friends in the beer garden and feeling so bone crushingly lonely that it was my 18th and I had no one to celebrate with.

It was the same every friday/saturday night. I used to see groups of people together and I just be back to my bed sit to sit alone the whole weekend.

I married the first person who would have me at 22 and had my wonderful ds who is 19 now and just a joy.

It didn’t get better though, I’m still lonely now but I have my children.

Staying in my university shared house during the holidays when everyone went home to their families. I’d been in care so couldn’t do that. I felt literally as if I didn’t exist. Luckily, that was 30 years ago and I’ve rarely been as lonely since.

As a child in primary school. A very tough time for me.

After I lost my dd.
It was the strangest time because the house was full of family, DH was with me 24/7 but I felt so alone.
During the night when I couldn't sleep, I would go to the cemetery and sit at Dd's grave to be close to her ( I know this sounds mad but I was completely off my head with grief)
Hope you start to feel better soon.

Now is my loneliest time, in terms of age and stage.

It's quite specific, though. It's any daytime when I'm not working, so weekends and school holidays.

I can't have children. My partner sleeps all day. My closest friends work outside of teaching, so they tend to be busy or with their own families. My siblings have their kids and do their own thing. I end up drifting around trying to find things to do by myself. Never alone in the house (because he's always here, but in bed), but always on my own.

On mat leave, living in my parents' garage while we did up our house, 40 minutes away from my life and baby mates. Next was having moved to a village where I knew no one, but was working 6am - 6pm. It's hard to meet people as a grownup.

@Peachgreen your comment resonated with me. I'm not a widow but many years ago I lost someone unexpectedly who I had at one point felt was my future and I remembered that feeling of being surrounded by people but none of them were him.

I was at my loneliest when younger, I was married and had two small children. I thought having a family would be lovely but my DH was too busy in his career and I was utterly alone trying to bring up little ones on my own.

Years later, I'm divorced, children are adults and have flown the nest and I live on my own. I'm not in the slightest bit lonely and love my life, I would never go back to the lonely days of young adulthood again.....

I was at my loneliest when I was in an unhappy marriage, looking after baby DS while my husband was working all day with no family support around. I'm 7 years divorced and no longer feel lonely.