So… he left me in the hospital with the baby.

[lilyboleyn]

I posted a few days ago about my partner. We had a baby over a week ago and it’s been in ICU. I’ve had pretty bad PND and have not been a delight to be around.

Well, we argued last night about him going to sleep at home rather than with me and the baby in the hospital and he’s ended the relationship saying he clearly can’t make me happy.

He’s not going to change his mind, he broke up with his ex wife three months after they had a baby and he has ASD so is pretty set with his decisions.

I’m so broken. We’re still in the hospital on our own, no visitors because of covid. I’m financially screwed without him. It’s such a mess.

Well, we argued last night about him going to sleep at home rather than with me and the baby in the hospital

Sorry if I’m missing the point but I didn’t think partners were allowed to stay the night at hospitals?

OP, from your PPs it seems you’ve not been with this man for very long? A year at most?

Things change and there's nothing to say that dad won't come to register his child.

That's good of him

Congratulations @lilyboleyn on your beautiful baby. I hope you are getting enough rest and food and taking good care of yourself, you've been through a lot and are still going through it! Be extra kind to yourself and try and enjoy your baby, I hope you get to both go home soon xx

Have you spoken to the midwives on the ward op? They are very sympathetic, I found, and might even be able to help with some of the practicalities. They’re also more than used to crying women (speaking from experience!) I’m so so sorry you’re going through this

OP speak to your midwife.
I am sorry you posted for support and got some horrible replies from people with their own agenda. Ignore them. Talk to your midwife and any family or friends you have. Contact Gingerbread. Let everyone know you need help.

@AnotherEmma - not true.

Assumed Parentage happens in five instances. If person...

• named as parent was married to dm between conception and birth
• is named on the child’s birth certificate
• has taken a DNA test that shows they’re the parent
• has legally adopted the child
• is named as parent in court order when dc born to surrogate

If he claims he isn't father and there is no assumed parentage the onus is not on him alone to prove the case. Both parties will be asked to provide evidence and DNA tests may be requested from both.

Don't worry now op but when you are feeling a little better look at site www.gov.uk/manage-child-maintenance-case/disagreements-about-parentage

[quote impossible]@AnotherEmma - not true.

Assumed Parentage happens in five instances. If person...

• named as parent was married to dm between conception and birth
• is named on the child’s birth certificate
• has taken a DNA test that shows they’re the parent
• has legally adopted the child
• is named as parent in court order when dc born to surrogate

If he claims he isn't father and there is no assumed parentage the onus is not on him alone to prove the case. Both parties will be asked to provide evidence and DNA tests may be requested from both.

Don't worry now op but when you are feeling a little better look at site www.gov.uk/manage-child-maintenance-case/disagreements-about-parentage[/quote]
You've cherry picked the section you quoted from that page!

The more relevant section is at the beginning:

Disagreements about parentage

When someone denies they’re the parent of a child, the Child Maintenance Service will:
ask them for evidence proving they’re not the parent
tell the other parent what’s happened and ask for evidence to prove parentage

If there’s no evidence to prove they’re not the parent, the Child Maintenance Service can:
ask both parents to take a DNA test
ask the courts to make a decision

Also see

Paying child maintenance during a disagreement

When a child maintenance amount has already been worked out, the person named as the parent has to pay until they can provide evidence they’re not the parent.

When the amount has not been worked out, the service managing the case will not work it out or ask for payment until the disagreement has been sorted out.

For does saying to put his name on the birth cert- what advantage to the child is it to have the father named on the birth cert?

Forget the birth certificate. OP has 6 weeks to register the north. She has more pressing issues to deal with.

sorry register the birth.

Don’t think of him leaving as a loss, you may not realise this at present but it’s a gain ! ! He’s a total piece of nothing ! I certainly wouldn’t be in a rush to register him on the BC it will cause you problems in the future other than perhaps helping with child maintenance. What sort of man abandons his new born baby and partner ?? I am so sorry you are going through this, congratulations on the birth of your baby 😊

Registering or not registering has nothing to do with child maintenance.

OP your midwife or Gingerbread can advise you on benefits and child maintenance. They will give you more accurate info than MN.

How are you doing today, op?

I don’t think this thread is the place to discuss the law around paternal rights! Op came here for support. Start a new thread if you want.

@Asdawindowandglass

How are you doing today, op?

I don’t think this thread is the place to discuss the law around paternal rights! Op came here for support. Start a new thread if you want.

Hope you and your lovely baby got some well deserved rest last night and that you get a chance to speak to a midwife who will help you get some access to extra support. Please don't be embarrassed to tell them and ask for support, that is what they are there for. Hope today goes well for both of you