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Original poster

Was this normal in the 90's

460 replies

sparklybin · 31/10/2021 08:10

I'm trying to sort in my head some of the things my parents did when me and siblings were growing up to see what was normal and was was not.

When my parents used to go into town ie the high street, if they had their shopping to do or something like a bank appointment they would drop us at the toy store and leave us there playing with the toys until they'd finished and then they'd come back. Probably used to leave us for about an hour but I'm not sure if it was longer. We were about 4/5 when they started doing this
I can't imagine doing this. It was early 90's though so I don't know if it was normal or not.

OP posts:
lots33 · 31/10/2021 08:45

My sister and I were both under 8 when we would take the bus from our town to another town half an hour away to go swimming. Children under 8 were not allowed in without an adult so we pretend we were twins and practice a fake DOB whilst on the bus. We would have been 6/7. Our mum was pretty neglectful though and we were left overnight at home by the time we were 9/10. 1980s

Erictheavocado · 31/10/2021 08:46

@knittingaddict

When I was a child there were definitely shops that didn't allow prams. This was in the 1960's when most people had big prams and most shops , even the supermarkets, were small. Our local Sainsbury had three aisles which were just wide enough to allow two adults to pass each other. If either of them had a trolley (about as big as a present day basket), one of them had to back up to allow the other to pass! Mi d you, this was a time when the Sainsbury in the next nearest, and much bigger, town still had full counter service!
It was very common to see a whole row of prams lined up on the street outside, whilst the mothers were off doing their shopping.
These were tines when children would be left sitting on the steps of the local pub with a bottle of lemonade and a bag of crisps whilst the parents were inside having a drink. My own dcs, born 80's and 90's, were never left in the way you describe @sparklybin, probably because I hated it as a child so wouldn't do it to my own, but I am sure it happened to a lot of children as we were thought to be wrapping ours in cotton wool because we wouldn't leave them.

PeterPomegranate · 31/10/2021 08:46

@XiCi

I think your stories about being continually left in public spaces for long periods, and especially the story about your father driving off and leaving you are fucking awful actually OP. This sort of thing was definitely not normal and I'm not sure how I'd feel about my parents if they had behaved like this when I was a child. I know that you're sort of passing it off as humorous but it actually sounds quite traumatic
If the OP isn’t traumatised then how is it helpful telling her she ought to be?
EdgeOfTheSky · 31/10/2021 08:46

It can’t have been normal as in ‘everyone did it’ - the toy shop wouldn’t have tolerated it!

BeyondMyWits · 31/10/2021 08:47

I grew up on a Scottish island. Born late 60s... so in the 60s mum left me in my pram outside the butchers for a couple of hours... forgot she had a baby... in the 70s (when I was about 5 upwards) got taken to the library and left there whilst she went shopping. In the 80s I was working and my boss's baby was taken from outside Woolworths.... NOBODY .... just NOBODY left their baby outside after that. Luckily she was found quickly.

ClemDanFango · 31/10/2021 08:47

No not normal

dayswithaY · 31/10/2021 08:48

Yes definitely ok in the 1970s/early 80s. Got left to wander around town alone while Dad was in the pub/betting shop, I was probably 9 or 10. Also left alone in the car in a rural location somewhere while they went for a walk and a pub lunch.

They would probably laugh about it now.

Atla · 31/10/2021 08:48

I can remember being left in children's section of library (zone 4 London late 1980's) but I was older - 8 or 9 onwards. Also playing in toy section of department stores while my mum was elsewhere in the shop - not for hours though, probably 15/20 mins while she queued to pay or tried something on.

I wouldn't do this now, but in my experience it was pretty normal then. I used to see school friends sometimes in the library on a Saturday morning - our mum's were all in Sainsbury's.!

SomethingNastyInTheBallPool · 31/10/2021 08:48

I was born in the early 70s and my parents would never have left me alone in a shop at that age. They did, however, dump me and my toddler brother at Saturday morning cinema for a few hours most weekends and regularly left me in the car while they went off shopping.

WeAreTheHeroes · 31/10/2021 08:48

Commonplace for the time, no. Normal for your parents OP, yes.

saraclara · 31/10/2021 08:48

[quote sparklybin]@freshcarnation it was a ELC store. My parents can't have seen these signs...
they did get caught out once and I remember being embarrassed because the shop staff were rather irritated but my parents definitely still continued doing it even after that. I must have been about 6 by then. [/quote]
I was about to ask of it was the Early Learning Centre. At our nearest one you were allowed to leave your children there, and we did. It was a particular area of the store and they were watched by members of staff.

Yourstupidityexhaustsme · 31/10/2021 08:50

We used to ask to go and were always let to go to the toy aisle. We’d be there AGES and I often remember getting bored and going to look for my parents say in marks and Spencer’s and would trek across all three floors to do it.

There was never a sense of surprise or worry when i would pop up in the bedding aisle or if I wasn’t in the toy aisle.

That was the 90’s and I remember that being normal. However I wasn’t allowed to go to town by myself or have msn until I was about 14.

The double standards are baffling.

GoldenOmber · 31/10/2021 08:50

The age is what seems unusual to me. I was regularly dropped off at the library for a couple of hours in the 80s while my mum went shopping, but no way at age 4.

diddl · 31/10/2021 08:50

I'm not sure if there was ever a time when this was usual.

There have always been parents that would do this sort of thing when they could.

XiCi · 31/10/2021 08:50

It can’t have been normal as in ‘everyone did it’ - the toy shop wouldn’t have tolerated it!
Yes imagine, hundreds upon hundreds of kids crammed into ELC and the local library every week as if they were some sort if over subscribed nursery. Would have been total chaos Grin

Original poster
sparklybin · 31/10/2021 08:50

@XiCi I can honestly say I wasn't traumatised at all and won't be but I am surprised by it all now I have dc.

OP posts:
nevernomore · 31/10/2021 08:50

In the 80s we were left at the fairground on hols whilst my parents went to the pub.

We also played outside in the street/ neighbourhood without adult supervision.

And yes, babies in prams were left outside supermarkets whilst m mum's shopped. My dad did the shopping once and forgot about me and went home, leaving me there! Grin

ChocolateGingers · 31/10/2021 08:51

No it's not normal.

My kids were born in the late 1980s and there is no way I'd have left them alone in a toy shop.

Also, the nonsense about leaving prams outside shops.

You've got your timeline way out.

It was normal in the 1950s and 60s when I was born, but by the 80s and 90s, we had buggies not large prams.

I never ever saw prams outside shops in the 1980s or 90s.

Original poster
sparklybin · 31/10/2021 08:52

@saraclara not our one because I remember the shame of being collected by the parents that left us when the store clerks were rather annoyed by it all

OP posts:
knittingaddict · 31/10/2021 08:52

[quote Erictheavocado]@knittingaddict

When I was a child there were definitely shops that didn't allow prams. This was in the 1960's when most people had big prams and most shops , even the supermarkets, were small. Our local Sainsbury had three aisles which were just wide enough to allow two adults to pass each other. If either of them had a trolley (about as big as a present day basket), one of them had to back up to allow the other to pass! Mi d you, this was a time when the Sainsbury in the next nearest, and much bigger, town still had full counter service!
It was very common to see a whole row of prams lined up on the street outside, whilst the mothers were off doing their shopping.
These were tines when children would be left sitting on the steps of the local pub with a bottle of lemonade and a bag of crisps whilst the parents were inside having a drink. My own dcs, born 80's and 90's, were never left in the way you describe @sparklybin, probably because I hated it as a child so wouldn't do it to my own, but I am sure it happened to a lot of children as we were thought to be wrapping ours in cotton wool because we wouldn't leave them.[/quote]
Not in the 80's or 90's though, which is what the op is asking about.

50ShadesOfCatholic · 31/10/2021 08:54

@furbabymama87

My mum says in supermarkets in the late 80s/ early 90s you would see babies lined up in prams by the door while the mum went round and did the shopping. And some shops would have a baby in a pram outside. I don't remember ever being left on my own in a toy shop though.
I don't remember that at all. The '70s yes, I was little and I remember my baby brother being left outside the store in his pram. But not the '80s and definitely not the '90s. Child abduction was a huge fear. And I'm pretty sure it would have been illegal to leave small children unaccompanied.
Magicalwoodlands · 31/10/2021 08:54

I was born in 1980 and my mum had a huge pram, not a buggy. I have no idea if I was left outside shops but very possible.

I doubt very much she ever went home without me though.

Original poster
sparklybin · 31/10/2021 08:55

@Yourstupidityexhaustsme this elc was a separate shop in the high street so we couldn't leave really without ending up outside. I don't think we ever did that though.

OP posts:
Lovesicecreams · 31/10/2021 08:55

Not normal - I was a teenager in the 90s and did a lot of babysitting. At 7 maybe. Definitely not at 6 or below

LucyLocketsPocket · 31/10/2021 08:55

I'm not 100% sure but I think I might have been left reading books in WH Smith while my parents shopped elsewhere. Was probably older than 8 though. This would have been late 80s.