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Original poster

Life isn't short!

132 replies

Bluepinkyellowcakes · 30/10/2021 21:13

Just thinking, I'm in my 30s so probably not even halfway through it yet. The thought of another 35, 40+ years... 😮 The time I've done already plus even longer on top?! It seems to stretch out like a never ending road. Anyone else feel like that? I know most people say life is short, but i disagree.

OP posts:
DaisyNGO · 31/10/2021 00:43

@ABitOfAShitShow

I totally understand, OP. I’ve literally just said similar to my mum. It all just feels so relentless. I can’t do the number of years I’ve already done again.
Yes. People seem to be upset or offended if you say you don't want a long life though.
ghostmouse · 31/10/2021 00:49

My also non smoking non drinking pretty healthy dh died nearly 4 months ago from metastatic colon cancer 3 weeks after being diagnosed. He was 50.

Life IS short.

None of us know what’s round the corner

inininsomnia · 31/10/2021 01:06

I'm 43. My grandmother died at 56, three of my friends have died in their 40s. Life is going very fast but I'm grateful for every minute left in front of me.

inininsomnia · 31/10/2021 01:07

@ghostmouse

My also non smoking non drinking pretty healthy dh died nearly 4 months ago from metastatic colon cancer 3 weeks after being diagnosed. He was 50.

Life IS short.

None of us know what’s round the corner

I'm so sorry for your loss Flowers
echt · 31/10/2021 01:35

I'm 67 and think life's short. Of the 17 people I know personally who have died, all but 2 were cut off early, i.e. 40s to 60. Two died in road accidents, one by suicide.

isuckathousework · 31/10/2021 01:36

@Bluepinkyellowcakes

Just thinking, I'm in my 30s so probably not even halfway through it yet. The thought of another 35, 40+ years... 😮 The time I've done already plus even longer on top?! It seems to stretch out like a never ending road. Anyone else feel like that? I know most people say life is short, but i disagree.
I find this very interesting.

I wonder how you and the others who agree with you live your life?

I would love to know more! And maybe learn a thing or two.

I am guessing you are very punctual and don't waste time on social media?

starrynight21 · 31/10/2021 02:00

I'm 63 and it is flying past. I've lost both my parents , my sister and my best friend - it's when you start losing people that you realise how short this life really is. My sister was planning her daughter's birthday party and whoosh ! She was gone. Best friend had just retired and planning a big holiday ...then cancer, then gone within weeks . All too soon.

You might think that time is dragging now , but give it a little while and you'll be thinking that life is flying by . Don't waste a minute.

WTF475878237NC · 31/10/2021 02:09

Either getting older oneself or losing someone very suddenly will make you change your mind OP. Hopefully the former as it's horrible to see a life cut short.

If you feel time is dragging it suggests your life needs a shake up to me.

garlictwist · 31/10/2021 06:21

I am 40 and have moods where I think "god, how much longer is this shit going to drag on for?" as I feel I have been alive for so long and have run out of things to do.

And then moods where I think I've had the best years and the rest are going to be full of decrepitude.

And then the odd mood where I've done something really great like an amazing run or been out in nature where I never want it to end.

Eviebeans · 31/10/2021 06:41

This thread has really given me food for thought: I'm 59.
Life seems to be flying by - now I think about it feels like nothing much achieved but another year gone!
I have now also reached the age, speeded up by covid, (which has given me my first idea about my own impending frailty)
where its seeming to take longer to get things done...

Notimetolive · 31/10/2021 06:41

I had an accident back in March. It stopped me doing anything on my own as I couldn’t walk properly. I couldn’t drive, so had to rely on someone to ferry me everywhere, I couldn’t use my own office at work because it was upstairs. Each day seemed to drag and I often got upset and frustrated that I would never get better.
Now I am back doing (almost) everything I could before and it feels like the last six months have really flown by!

Original poster
Bluepinkyellowcakes · 31/10/2021 06:48

Just got up and remembered I have to put the clocks back an hour... Much prefer spring when I put it forward Grin

OP posts:
Pyewackect · 31/10/2021 06:52

Spend a day with me and you’ll change your mind on that one.

ElftonWednesday · 31/10/2021 06:52

A friend of mine at school died aged 17, my cousin died aged 31, my uncle died aged 46, my best friend's dad had a massive heart attack and died instantly at 50. Life can be pretty short.

Yusanaim · 31/10/2021 06:53

I'm late 60s and realised that I spent much of my life planning what I WOULD do at some point in the future when everything was right for me - well that point never actually came so don't put things off. A lot of that was due to not being confident enough just to try. Big mistake.

Threewheeler1 · 31/10/2021 06:55

@megletthesecond

It goes SO fast. I'm 47 and I've not achieved anything and don't have much time to either. I'm still hoping I can get something done in my 50's.
Feel exactly the same. Am 48 and feeling like I'm running out of time to find a bloody direction Grin
thebuswontfit · 31/10/2021 07:07

I find that it speeds up the older you get

Original poster
Bluepinkyellowcakes · 31/10/2021 07:13

I guess I'm lucky to not have experienced much loss yet. There was a distant relative who died in an accident in their 50s actually, that was quite a shock. But other than that I've only known people who died in Old age. On one hand I can see that losing say a sibling or friend close in age to myself would show me that life can be short, but on the other hand wouldn't I then feel that life felt even longer without them in it? Not sure I'm explaining properly. The relative who died in an accident, their partner says time seems to go on forever now without them. So loss could affect either way. Does that make sense?

OP posts:
userxx · 31/10/2021 07:17

@Yusanaim

I'm late 60s and realised that I spent much of my life planning what I WOULD do at some point in the future when everything was right for me - well that point never actually came so don't put things off. A lot of that was due to not being confident enough just to try. Big mistake.

Great bit of advice there. Seize the moment and all that.

echt · 31/10/2021 07:29

@Bluepinkyellowcakes

I guess I'm lucky to not have experienced much loss yet. There was a distant relative who died in an accident in their 50s actually, that was quite a shock. But other than that I've only known people who died in Old age. On one hand I can see that losing say a sibling or friend close in age to myself would show me that life can be short, but on the other hand wouldn't I then feel that life felt even longer without them in it? Not sure I'm explaining properly. The relative who died in an accident, their partner says time seems to go on forever now without them. So loss could affect either way. Does that make sense?
Well, you won't know how life feels after the death of a loved one until it happens, and I hope that day is long way off.

Thinking of your rel who said time seems to go on forever, I've been reading Joan Didion's "The Year of Magical Thinking", where she quotes CS Lewis after the death on his wife, reflecting on how life after a death feels like suspense: "So many roads once, now so many cul de sacs".

I'm pretty sure your relation is not envisaging some amazing life now the OH has gone.

badlydrawnbear · 31/10/2021 07:34

I thought similar to you but I was depressed, but then last month my DH died suddenly and unexpectedly of unknown causes. He was 41. His life was short, and it is very unfair that it happened to him as he was doing so much with his life and had so many plans and dreams of things he was going to do because he thought he had so much time left. Like many people, he realised what he was missing out on during lockdown, but unlike most people he then went out and did as much as possible and prioritised doing things he wanted to do and experiencing as much as possible. I said in the eulogy I wrote and read at his funeral that I hoped he would inspire other people to also do that (and I have spoken to people who he inspired to try new things even while he was alive). At the moment I am just surviving my grief one day/ hour/ minute at a time and trying to look after my DC, but at some point I would like to do some things that drag myself out of my comfort zone as he would have wished.

Original poster
Bluepinkyellowcakes · 31/10/2021 07:35

No I think its more a case of they just get through each day, tick it off as done, one less to do and go sleep some more time away before doing it again tomorrow. That's pretty much what I do too.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bluepinkyellowcakes · 31/10/2021 07:37

Cross posted with you there @badlydrawnbear sorry for your loss Flowers

OP posts:
Vickim03 · 31/10/2021 07:37

Life is short. My sister went out to work one morning 8 years ago. Booked the holiday she’d been dreaming of then never made it home. She was 22. She died on impact in an RTA. Please don’t think it’s not short. You never know what’s going to happen. Live everyday as if it’s your last, make those plans for things you’ve always wanted to fo and do them.

SunShinesBrightly · 31/10/2021 07:45

I guess I'm lucky to not have experienced much loss yet.
I think your perspective is understandable then.
I lost friends at 15,21,33,35,39 and a parent when I was 22. Several friends lost parents at 11,14,19 and 23.
Life is short when you experience loss at a (relatively) young age.