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Original poster

DD bringing a super-strict Vegan friend for tea tonight

239 replies

maddiemookins16mum · 27/10/2021 12:32

Hi all, DD (17) is bringing a pal home for tea (dinner, supper - delete as appropriate 🤣). We are big meat eaters but would never dream of having meat on this occasion. My normally very level headed DD is very keen for ‘us’ to get it ‘right’. So here’s the menu.
Vegan sausage hotpot (browned off Heck vegan chipolatas - made of pea protein so the pack says), I’ve added onions, carrots, tinned toms, garlic, herbs and veggie stock.
Cauliflower cheese
Roast potatoes (they are Aunt Bessies though, as we’re all at work/college until 5-6pm and I’ve no real spuds.
Other veg (peas and broccoli probably).
Pudding - mince pies and custard (Alpro plant based).
Does this sound ok?

OP posts:
pointythings · 27/10/2021 14:15

@SVRT19674

Ah how times have changed...i was taught when you are invited to someone´s house you eat what is offered, no pursuing personal fads...now everyone bends over backwards to accommodate people who wouldn´t dream of accommodating you...
Ah how times have changed - for the better, because people care about the planet they live on and about food allergies.

Get ye back to the 1950s.

SpiceRat · 27/10/2021 14:18

It’s pointless telling op to ditch the cauli cheese as it’s already been made, might as well eat it and they can decide if it’s tasty or not.

Same as saying things like “id just go and get x,y and z and save the bother” when it sounds like op already has all the ingredients in, it would be more bother!

Have a lovely evening op, sounds fab.

godmum56 · 27/10/2021 14:18

@SVRT19674

Ah how times have changed...i was taught when you are invited to someone´s house you eat what is offered, no pursuing personal fads...now everyone bends over backwards to accommodate people who wouldn´t dream of accommodating you...
I was taught that if you invite guests then rule one is to ensure that their needs are properly catered for.

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00100001 · 27/10/2021 14:18

@SVRT19674

Ah how times have changed...i was taught when you are invited to someone´s house you eat what is offered, no pursuing personal fads...now everyone bends over backwards to accommodate people who wouldn´t dream of accommodating you...
behave.

vegetarianism etc has been around for decades for example no-one 40 years ago would have served a roast lamb to a veggie.

they might have struggled to know what to offer, and may have provided no alternative, and served the rest of the meal minus the lamb or something.

and the DDs friend hasn't asked for this, it's DD and OP seems quite happy to accommodate.

but trying to make out this is some new fangled indulgence is BS. no doubt when you grew up, kids always ate what they were given, emptied their plates and never complained and always said than you gratefully...

mibbelucieachwell · 27/10/2021 14:20

DS had his very strict vegan flatmate to visit for a few days and I was the same as you OP, fastidious about ensuring no animal products in our meals and having plenty of good quality vegan options. I have an intolerance to egg and dairy (and various other foods unfortunately) so I absolutely always read labels and have dairy free 'milk', spread and cheese in anyway.

I have the utmost respect for vegans who're motivated to avoid cruelty to animals and/or reduce their environmental impact by not eating meat and dairy.

But, I've mixed feelings about vegans who make life knowingly difficult for their hosts. The Buddhist take on diet is usually to be vegetarian or vegan to avoid causing harm to animals and potentially the people who have to slaughter them, but they recognise that once slaughtered , cooked and on your dinner plate the harm is done and it would serve no purpose to declare that animal produce will never pass their lips. Wasting food and possibly offending or hugely inconveniencing a host would be worse than occasionally eating animal produce to them.

Respect goes both ways. As I said earlier I would absolutely cater for a vegan, especially when it's important to your daughter but I wouldn't put myself hugely out over an extended period of time. We all have different ways of doing our best. Eg I try to only buy clothes that are ethically sourced or secondhand because I understand that the fashion industry treats employees shockingly badly in developing countries and is very bad for the environment. But I don't refuse to entertain people in my home if they're wearing unethically sourced clothes.

Fwiw when my vegan visitor was with us we had chick pea curry and veg curry, tofu stir fry and vegetarian haggis (we're Scottish) for dinners. Blue skies coconut ice cream and fruit. Porridge with a choice of cranberries, blueberries, mixed seeds and crushed flaxseed. Cooked brunch one day was veggie sausages, cauliflower hash browns, mushrooms, tomatoes, toast and baked beans and another day I made lentil and veggie soup. The veggie haggis day I had prawns as I can't eat veggie haggis. I think they had nut butter on toast a couple of times too.

SVRT19674 · 27/10/2021 14:28

@RedMarauder I don´t think one can call an allergy or a food intolerance a fad. So obviously not being referred to in my comment. Yeah, being polite and respectful in other people´s homes was hell.

1forAll74 · 27/10/2021 14:32

That would be too much faff for me, Your daughter and friend would have to make their own vegan stuff.

VividImaginationAgain · 27/10/2021 14:32

My sister and two of her children are vegetarian, the third is vegan so I have some experience of coming up with alternative meals. Even if fake meat isn’t the friends thing the OP is providing a meal that she can eat. It sounds lovely.

I am not vegan but love the meals from PEP kitchen. They are a bit pricey but, by the time you buy all the ingredients to make a meal, I don’t think they are too bad and there are always deals to be had. I haven’t found one I don’t like yet and would be happy to be served them in a restaurant. I keep a few extra in the freezer in case I’m having my vegan nephew for a meal without prior notice.

Comefromaway · 27/10/2021 14:35

@IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads

What are you making the cauliflower cheese with? Suet and other animal fat in the mince pies? Have you checked the Aunt Bessie’s for animal fat?
Aunt Bessies roasts say suitable for vegans
AlfonsoTheUnrepetant · 27/10/2021 14:35

OP, it sounds as though you've gone to a lot of trouble to be a thoughtful host/ess. I am sure that your guest will enjoy the food and the company. And your menu sounds wonderful.

Comefromaway · 27/10/2021 14:36

I wouldn;t bother with the cauliflower cheese, it doesn;t exactly go with hotpot.

Boudiccasback · 27/10/2021 14:38

Perfect

mibbelucieachwell · 27/10/2021 14:41

Re vegan cheese. I like the violife white 'Greek' one. Haven't used it in a sauce though.

Original poster
maddiemookins16mum · 27/10/2021 14:43

It might sound a bit like I’m ‘pandering’ to DD and her friend a bit, I’m really not. I’ve always loved ‘hosting’, it gives me pleasure (coming from a background where we were never allowed to have fiends for tea or go to another house for a meal). DD has gone through her first ‘heartbreak’ this month - her boyfriend was caught snogging someone else and it all got a bit messy so I just want it to be nice for her plus once I’ve dished up, she and friend are in charge of clearing up/washing up etc.

OP posts:
Original poster
maddiemookins16mum · 27/10/2021 14:43

OMG, I’ve just shown my age by saying snogging.

OP posts:
BurntO · 27/10/2021 14:44

I’d tell them to sort themselves out at 17, offer to buy ingredients if they need them.

If you must cook for them I’d skip the cauliflower cheese if you haven’t cooked with vegan cheese before

JudgeJ · 27/10/2021 14:48

The OP at least has notice of the guest's dietary preferences! Many many years ago we were involved in the French exchange and OH took daughter up to school late on Saturday to collect our guest, they'd been delayed due to bad weather. He phoned from school to tell me that the girl was vegan, this was when very few people had heard of it. Panic calls to a vegetarian friend and a difficult couple of weeks. When daughter had been on the return visit I asked what the girl ate at home, apparently her mother put out regular food and the girl ate it, this veganism had started on the ferry and ended there!

Staryflight445 · 27/10/2021 14:49

How lovely op. You’re not pandering at all.

I couldn’t do it though, my stomach doesn’t like milk alternatives and I really struggle eating products such as fake meat and cheese. It weirds me out for some reason.
I wouldn’t have a clue what to make a vegan that we could all tuck in and enjoy. Apart from maybe roast potatoes and veggies. 😅

JudgeJ · 27/10/2021 14:50

@maddiemookins16mum

OMG, I’ve just shown my age by saying snogging.
Nothing wrong with snogging though it, the word, makes the grandchildren cringe!
ShirleyPhallus · 27/10/2021 14:52

@SVRT19674

Ah how times have changed...i was taught when you are invited to someone´s house you eat what is offered, no pursuing personal fads...now everyone bends over backwards to accommodate people who wouldn´t dream of accommodating you...
If someone served you a poo sandwich you’d eat it just to be polite?
LaetitiaASD · 27/10/2021 14:53

@maddiemookins16mum

Hi all, DD (17) is bringing a pal home for tea (dinner, supper - delete as appropriate 🤣). We are big meat eaters but would never dream of having meat on this occasion. My normally very level headed DD is very keen for ‘us’ to get it ‘right’. So here’s the menu. Vegan sausage hotpot (browned off Heck vegan chipolatas - made of pea protein so the pack says), I’ve added onions, carrots, tinned toms, garlic, herbs and veggie stock. Cauliflower cheese Roast potatoes (they are Aunt Bessies though, as we’re all at work/college until 5-6pm and I’ve no real spuds. Other veg (peas and broccoli probably). Pudding - mince pies and custard (Alpro plant based). Does this sound ok?
Personally (as a pescatarian) my view is that pretty much all "fake food" is horrid.

Anything made with protein and designed to be like meat - horrid. Ditto fake cheese or vegan chocolate or diet coke. If you can't or don't want the "proper version" for whatever reason then go for something else entirely. eg "you don't have real coke - I'll have tap water instead" or "I fancied a cheese and salad sandwhich, but if all you've got is fake cheese then I'll just have a salad sandwich".

But I have no idea what friend is like - maybe they love meat, don't eat it for ethical reasons and love having anything that reminds them a little of meat.

I find the concept of "I'm cooking for a vegan so I need to provide vegan food that is a bit like non-vegan food" to be crazy."

Carrot and lentil soup followed by a falafell, humous and salad wrap. No idea what desserts are vegan.

JellyfishandShells · 27/10/2021 14:53

I did Xmas lunch for 6 Person 1. Non dairy ( me) Person 2. Gluten free. Person 3. No pork or alcohol ( religious observance ) Person 4. Wavering vegan - we saw you. Person 5 Keto diet - said sod it for the day and went mad on the roasties. Person 6. Thank you, that was all delicious .

Took a bit of planning…..

SarahBellam · 27/10/2021 14:54

@SVRT19674

Ah how times have changed...i was taught when you are invited to someone´s house you eat what is offered, no pursuing personal fads...now everyone bends over backwards to accommodate people who wouldn´t dream of accommodating you...
Why would you invite someone to your house and make them feel unwelcome by serving something they wouldn’t eat? That’s would be a horrible thing to do.
Booksandwine80 · 27/10/2021 14:54

Check the stock, may well be vegetarian but not vegan. I’m venturing into a more plant based world and some of the things in food is baffling Confused

JollyAndBright · 27/10/2021 14:56

Life long vegan here.

It sounds fab and you sound lovely.

Heck ‘Chipolatas’ sausages are really nice.

My only tip would be to keep any packaging, like the mince pie box or the roast potatoes bag just in case she wants to check they are ‘safe’.
Not that I’m suggesting she won’t trust you, but some times I like to check, especially things like pre made things like the frozen roasts, because they always seems to sneak things into preprepared stuff.

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