DD bringing a super-strict Vegan friend for tea tonight

[maddiemookins16mum]

Hi all, DD (17) is bringing a pal home for tea (dinner, supper - delete as appropriate 🤣). We are big meat eaters but would never dream of having meat on this occasion. My normally very level headed DD is very keen for ‘us’ to get it ‘right’. So here’s the menu.
Vegan sausage hotpot (browned off Heck vegan chipolatas - made of pea protein so the pack says), I’ve added onions, carrots, tinned toms, garlic, herbs and veggie stock.
Cauliflower cheese
Roast potatoes (they are Aunt Bessies though, as we’re all at work/college until 5-6pm and I’ve no real spuds.
Other veg (peas and broccoli probably).
Pudding - mince pies and custard (Alpro plant based).
Does this sound ok?

I have not read the whole thread, but I saw how kind many posters were at helping the OP to produce a vegan meal. I entirely understand the OP's desire that her DD should not be embarrassed by her mother serving food her friend will not eat. However, I am feeling grumpy today.
When I read the OP, I wondered whether people who make lifestyle choices about what they will/won't eat actually expect those choices to be catered for by those kind enough to invite them into their homes? Do they think they have a right to it? I would be interested to know.
We think a lot about respecting people's personal choices, and also about cultural appropriation ('You shouldn't do that because you're not one of us/them') but what about cultural imposition?(Allergies are another matter; and I am prepared to concede that so are religious grounds.)
I personally have never gone to a vegetarian household and been told: 'We know you like meat, so we've cooked you a chop.

@Gagagardener

I have not read the whole thread, but I saw how kind many posters were at helping the OP to produce a vegan meal. I entirely understand the OP's desire that her DD should not be embarrassed by her mother serving food her friend will not eat. However, I am feeling grumpy today. When I read the OP, I wondered whether people who make lifestyle choices about what they will/won't eat actually expect those choices to be catered for by those kind enough to invite them into their homes? Do they think they have a right to it? I would be interested to know. We think a lot about respecting people's personal choices, and also about cultural appropriation ('You shouldn't do that because you're not one of us/them') but what about cultural imposition?(Allergies are another matter; and I am prepared to concede that so are religious grounds.) I personally have never gone to a vegetarian household and been told: 'We know you like meat, so we've cooked you a chop.

No I don’t expect people to cater to me.

There is no evidence that the friend expected the OP to cater for her either. For all we know the friend offered to bring her own food but the OP wanted to cater to her.

There is nothing to suggest that the friend acted entitled in any way.

@Gagagardener

I have not read the whole thread, but I saw how kind many posters were at helping the OP to produce a vegan meal. I entirely understand the OP's desire that her DD should not be embarrassed by her mother serving food her friend will not eat. However, I am feeling grumpy today. When I read the OP, I wondered whether people who make lifestyle choices about what they will/won't eat actually expect those choices to be catered for by those kind enough to invite them into their homes? Do they think they have a right to it? I would be interested to know. We think a lot about respecting people's personal choices, and also about cultural appropriation ('You shouldn't do that because you're not one of us/them') but what about cultural imposition?(Allergies are another matter; and I am prepared to concede that so are religious grounds.) I personally have never gone to a vegetarian household and been told: 'We know you like meat, so we've cooked you a chop.

But barring allergies, everyone can eat vegan food, whereas a food with meat and/or dairy in it would mean someone cannot eat it, so I'm not sure why some people see it as such an issue. There are loads of easy to make and cheap vegan recipes readily available online, or you can get a huge range of premade stuff now, so it's not really any additional effort. It's weird how people view vegan meals when chances are they have eaten plenty of foods today that are vegan!

Oat milk custard might not be as good?

How lovely.
For the béchamel/white sauce in Cauliflower Cheese, use vegan butter (I buy it in Asda) and Oat/Soy 'milk,' some nut meg and a veg cube. The current market does not have a decent vegan cheese yet so I would skip the cheese. It works.

@clarehhh

Oat milk custard might not be as good?

Not sure about oat milk, but I make custard and sauces with soya milk all the time, and it’s very good. It thickens more than with dairy milk, so you need less custard powder.

Oat milk custard is delicious. I’m not vegan and still find it a great alternative.

I personally have never gone to a vegetarian household and been told: 'We know you like meat, so we've cooked you a chop.

Most people who eat meat are omnivores, so being served a meal with no meat in it is no big deal.

On the other hand, if you are vegan or vegetarian, being given a chop for your dinner is a big deal.

OP it sounds great but yes watch out for any little hidden things that could trip you up.

We have vegetarian friends, it is their way of life and their beliefs, so we respect that and cater for that when they come around. Going a little bit out of your way to make someone feel comfortable and included is hardly a great ask, I do wonder about some people on these threads, being kind is not pandering, giving in or being taken advantage of, it's simply that.....being kind.

I hope you all have a nice time and it cheers your DD up a little bit after the "tragic" first heartbreak that feels like it the end of the world.

If you’re a meat eater then this is what you would cook but rest assured many vegans just don’t play this game. Your guest no doubt will thank you for your efforts

Not vegan but meal sounds fab, for those not found vegan cheese working I purely by chance (ie sent DH for grated cheese) stumbled across Violife I found it melted down well in scrambled egg and grilled well for a toasty so if not tried I recommend though not got a strong taste

Most vegans also use nutritional yeast for a cheesy taste plus B12. I'd be the first to agree vegan cheese needs some development. Even the expensive artisan ones taste grainy.

Haven't read all the replies so apologies if it's been said before but check for palm oil.

Whilst technically vegan some "super strict" vegans will avoid this as well. It may be worth asking her

Check it's vegan cheeze/ cheese sauce.

Most vegan cheese doesn't melt, go brown or taste very cheesy in a sauce. It just tastes OK in a sandwich imo.

Check your mince pies are vegan fat in mincemeat and in the pastry.

Almond milk is a good cow milk substitute for a white sauce though.