7 year old doesn't want grandparents at her birthday

[gordonramseyspuffa]

I showed my 6 year old the list of people coming to her birthday party as well as her school friends, which includes her Grandparents (my parents.) She started getting agitated and asked if they "could be put in a different room?" Historically my parents have been very involved with my DC, very loving, very hands on, and love them to death and vice versa.

I asked her why she did not want them there and she said "they're just embarrassing and old." I feel quite hurt by this and not sure whether I should be insisting to her that she be proud of her family who love her and want to celebrate her birthday -or it's just a phase they all go through? I remember being a bit embarrassed of my grandparents but that was more when I was an early teen and wanting to appear cool, but certainly not as young as 7?

@DottyHarmer

I agree that it’s one thing for the girl to be uncomfortable about the gp attending if that’s not the norm at the parties she’s been to.

But this seems an opportunity to stress that that is an unkind thing to say about their being old and embarrassing. Some posters have
Seized upon being kind equals being a sap, and girls conditioned to accept things yada yada. Not at all. Every single child should be taught that decency is a good trait. Of course they can have opinions and choices within reason, but cruel remarks about people who love you should Be Discussed.

definitely - I have alwys said the 'old and embrassing' comment should be discussed.

however, a lot of people are saying the kid is being a brat, ruling the roost, ungrateful etc. when actually all she is doing is expressing a negative emotion. They are in effect saying that her feelings should be dismissed because they are negative and that she should "put up or shut up". this is one small example of ways we show and reinforce to our children (especially girls and women) that their feelings aren't important or should be put to one side to appease others.

Also, as she is so young I would be concerned that this had come from wanting to impress a 'friend' who says that sort of stuff and looking to have an age appropriate chat about people-pleasing and peer pressure if so.

I felt embarrassed at school pick ups because of this but that was because one girl used to laugh at them and comment after. Perhaps it's peer influence or comments.

I a agree @backtoschool1234.

There is also a place for learning not to follow everything your friends do or say.

I’m surprised at how many people just assume this is exactly how the child’s feel rather than a desire to fit in.
I’d want to understand more about what’s going on before going ahead with either option.

(And of course having a chat about nit being disrespectful too)

‘ Is there a chance your parents have made her feel uncomfortable at all?’

I want to expand on that and ask if they smother her a bit and she doesn’t like it?

Some grandparents sadly are like this, I used to absolutely hate it.