How many immediate family members do you have?

[HazieDazie]

I was talking to a friend earlier and they commented that my situation is unusual…

I’m 51, my husband is 57 and between us we have….

My mum and me (my dad died 17 years ago)
My husband (his parents died over 40 years ago, no siblings)

So essentially there is just the 3 of us. I do have cousins on my mums side but no family on dads side and DH has no other family. Neither of us have children.

Are we unusual?

I’m sort of asking because both me and DH have felt very lonely recently and we think it’s because we have no immediate family to connect with.

I've got husband and 2 kids. I still also have my mum and dad and my brother.

That is literally IT. Got no cousins or aunties or uncles etc.

That probably is quite unusual, but not unheard of.

I had a friend who had only himself and his dad - his mum had died when my friend was young, and he had no siblings, although he did have aunts, uncles and cousins.

Another friend of mine only has herself and her daughter. Both herself and her parents were only children, so she doesn't have cousins either.

Both lovely people with lots of friends, though.

Do you mean alive in total? Or who we are in communication with?

My parents are both dead. I have DH & 3 DCs. I do have 3 siblings but only 1 has any part in my life.

Both DH & I have siblings, in laws, nieces, nephews, aunts & uncles, cousins ... but we don't really see very much of them at all ... but we do have lots of friends, community involvement and tons of interaction with people (whom we choose to spend time with ).

I would say that’s relatively unusual.
I have my mum and dad, siblings, their spouses and children, DH and our children. I also have 15 cousins-all married with children of their own. DH has both parents , uncles and aunts, cousins and siblings.

We are 45/50.

None my dad died first, then my mum died, and 6 months after, my only sibling died. I don't have a husband anymore either, as he left me for another woman.

I'm actually as happy as Larry though! 😀 Time does heal - I've got two great kids, loads of friends, a job I enjoy, and my horse!

I do still go to pick up the phone to tell my mum something, before I remember though...

Me and my daughter. And my Mum that’s it. My Mum lives about three hours away. It’s very hard sometimes to watch people especially at Christmas with loads of family round them. I feel bad for my daughter, I had ivf for her so no chance of her having a sibling.

I have Mum, Dad, Brother and 1 grandparent, DH and DD. I’ve got 2 Aunts and Uncles and 4 cousins but not in contact with most of them (not local and not seen most of them since I was young).

DH has both his parents, and technically 2 siblings although they are estranged and he’s not had contact for 30+ years. So he may as well have none. He has many aunts, uncles and a million cousins that we see occasionally at weddings and funerals. They are all nice though.

We are mid-late 40’s.

I have my 3 DS's That's it
I do have a B but not heard from him in 19 years after my DM passed away

I don't think having lots of family necessarily makes you less lonely. I have a mum, dad, 3 siblings and 3DC. That might sound a reasonable amount but in reality I've seen my parents twice this year, one of my brothers and my sister once and my other brother I've not seen for a few years. My oldest daughter has moved out and we see her once or twice a month so the majority of the time it is just me and youngest 2 DC.

This isn't even really due to covid. Normally I might have seen my parents 3 or 4 times a year but I don't see my siblings much really. We're just not that close.

Thanks for the responses. I guess what I mean are family members that people are in regular touch with.

For example we are miles away from my cousins and only ever see them at family funerals.

Gosh it sounds so sad writing it down and maybe that’s why we are feeling lonely.

We also moved away (150 miles) from friends a few years ago for work and we haven’t made any friends where we are, we are literally on our own. The reason we haven’t made friends is that we bought a house that we both loved at the time but is literally in the middle of nowhere and so we don’t have a community around us.

But that’s not relevant to my first question which is whether our relatives situation is unusual,

I have a mum and brother, DP had both parents and two sisters and we both had two DC together

Between DH and I, we have 3 parents, 7 siblings and 1 child (joint). Aged 50 and 46.

4 parents
1 stepparent
me and husband
four children
2 siblings each so 4 altogether (plus their spouses so 8)
4 nieces 4 nephews between us

I'm close to my aunts/uncles/cousins, my husband isn't so much partly due to family religious rifts mostly due to distance.

I feel very fortunate in that I have dh , 3 daughters and a son. Mum mum, 3 sisters, dad, step mum, step brother. Mother in law, sister in law

My parents, my husband, my two children. I have no siblings.

My family is on the smaller side too. I have mum, dad, grandmother and sister. Husband has mum, dad, grandmother.

I have one aunt, one uncle and one cousin. Husband has more than this but hasn't seen any of them in over ten years.

I worked with someone who had 7 siblings and over a hundred cousins. We used to marvel at how different our family set ups were! I can have my entire family over for Christmas lunch, she would need to hire the village hall.

What classes as immediate family?
I have
2 Grandparents
2 parents
2 step parents
2 siblings plus their spouses
4 step siblings plus some of them have spouses
6 nieces and nephews
2 DC
I can't be bothered to add up all my aunties/uncles and cousins.

But I don't see a lot of them. Some due to distance. Some from choice.
I'm still very lonely a lot of the time.

Me, DH, 2dc
All 4 parents
4 siblings, 3 spouses, 3 niece/nephews

Including aunties/uncles/cousins 60+
All who we're regularly in touch with.

I also moved over 100 miles away for uni/work and don't really have any friends.

I’m so jealous of you lot with big families, I dream of a big family gathering.
It’s been me, my DH and my mum for years.
It’s still absolutely lovely but it’s so very very small.

I have my mum and dad and two siblings. I've not spoken to my parents and one sibling for the last three years.

My other sibling has until recently been supportive but is doing long hours so not much contact.

Not in contact with aunts, uncles or cousins.

I am separated from my husband. He has his Dad and brother.

It's just me and the teens most of the time. They are great company and keep me too busy to be sad about how things have worked out family wise 🙂

Me
My mum
Brother and wife and 2 kids
Sister and husband and 2 kids

Dh
His mum
Brother and 2 kids

Our 2 kids

We also both have several aunties who we grew up close to and both have A LOT of cousins.

I'm not especially close to anybody except my mum though.

Me and husband, 2 daughters, 1 son in law and 2 granddaughters
Mum and two siblings and nephew and niece on my side and a second cousin I stay in contact with
Husband has a sibling, nieces and great nieces and nephews and 2 cousins he stayed in contact with.

Maybe about 30 in total