How many immediate family members do you have?

[HazieDazie]

I was talking to a friend earlier and they commented that my situation is unusual…

I’m 51, my husband is 57 and between us we have….

My mum and me (my dad died 17 years ago)
My husband (his parents died over 40 years ago, no siblings)

So essentially there is just the 3 of us. I do have cousins on my mums side but no family on dads side and DH has no other family. Neither of us have children.

Are we unusual?

Regularly in touch. My mum and dad. No husband. Child young and lives with me. Other family members like sisters nieces etc only 2 or 3 times a year

My two children.
My parents.
4 siblings, plus 3 husbands/wives
3 nieces and nephews.
4 aunts.
About 35 first cousins (large Irish family)

I have DS, DDIL, DGD2, DGD1, DGGS, DGGD
3 DB 3 DSIL 1 DBIL 10 nieces, nephews, 4 great nephews
DH as both Parents, DB, DSIL, 2 nieces.

Me (43) bro (47) and sis (40) and two distant cousins remain.

All our parents, aunties, uncles and grandparents have died.

It is very lonely, especially when your friends have large, thriving families.

Invest your time and effort into each other, with friends and with causes that inspire you. Xxx

Not counting cousins, I have 1. And I don't like him.

This is not unusual.
I have 10 siblings not close.
My DH has 1 sibling very close. All ours are very close.

DH and I have three children. Both sets of parents are still alive, we each have one sibling, and each sibling has 2 children

So DH and me - 2
Kids - 3
Parents - 4
Siblings and spouses - 4
Nieces and nephews - 4

My dad has one sibling still living but he is very elderly and very ill and I haven't seen him in 20 odd years. I have 5? cousins, DH has about 12, lots of them are married and have children but we never see them so they don't count as "immediate family".

Oh and also OP, having immediate family is no guarantee of "closeness". DH and I live a long way from our siblings, don't see them often. You only need to read threads on here to see that having family around is not always wonderful, and there's no guarantee you'll get on with siblings/parents/cousins.

I have a mum and dad, no brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins, or grandparents, my dad was an only child, my mum was in care so no idea on that side. I have a husband and 1 child. I also have lots of wonderful friends some who I class as my family. My husband comes from a big family but only has contact with 1 sibling, so I didn’t gain anything there.

Between me and my husband, there are:
two parents, three children, three grandchildren, three siblings (one in-law by marriage), two nieces, five nephews. We are in our early 50's.

He is close to four aunts, three uncles, and less than ten cousins.

I am very close to four aunts, one uncle (very few are living now) and I converse with over 45 of my 70 first-cousins.

Apart from our children and grandchildren, neither of us live near family. The vast majority of my family lives over 750 miles away and my husband's family in England. We are connected through social media daily.

I have a small extended family compared to most. No grandparents for 25 years. On DF's side I only have one cousin (never met) and one cousin once removed (met once). Both live abroad.
On DM's side 2 uncles (one never met, one estranged), one cousin I've met but estranged, their DC, ditto and I think there are 2 other cousins but I don't even know their names.

My family is so small my DC's only have 2 second cousins!

Growing up never had more than 6 of us for Xmas dinner and that was exceptionally big!

I have a husband, 2 young daughters, brother and Mum who I see regularly.
ILs are about 30 minutes away but only see them a few times a year.

I'm not jealous of big families at all, I love small Christmasses at home, the thought of having to have visitors or go visiting doesn't appeal at all.

Other than dh and the kids I much prefer spending time with friends than family.

Me, DD12. Both parents but they live abroad, 2 siblings who don't live close

Parents, siblings, in-laws, and nieces and nephews... 57. It’s a lot, a bit much if we’re being honest.

Between me and DH
4 parents
1 grandparent
4 siblings
2 nieces
5 kids

My parents, sibling and 2 DC. Feels a very small family and I wish my sibling had chosen to have children and bumped up the numbers a bit!

I always feel like we have a big family but when I list them I don't think we do.

Between dh and me we have both sets of parents. I have 3 siblings, 2 siblings-in-law and 7 nieces/nephews. I have 9 cousins and several aunts and uncles but am only really in regular contact with one or two.

I live quite close to my family and am in regular contact with them. I enjoy spending time with them.

Dh has 2 siblings and 2 siblings-in-law, 5 nieces and nephews and I think 4 cousins but rarely talks to any of them.

Dh and I have 2 dc.

I'd say yours is an unusually small family yes.
Between DH and I we have 17 family members that we're close to and see often, plus 22 other aunts, cousins etc that we see less often but still get on well with.

Sorry you're feeling lonely, I hope you find some friends and a community soon.

I am 30.

I have
2 children
1 spouse
2 parents
4 grandparents
1 great grandparent
5 aunts and uncles (by blood, another 3 by marriage)
6 cousins

In regular contact with all of them, some we only see a few times a year but we go and stay at their house etc.

My husband has a similar number of relatives but we only really see his parents and one set of grandparents.

I don't know exactly who counts as immediate family but here we go:

DH & I have 7 kids.
My dad died a while ago so in total our kids have 3 grandparents, 4 uncles, 4 aunts, 20 cousins. And DH's best friend has uncle status as well. The kids call him Uncle Dan (we call him The Butler🤣)

DH & I both have aunts, uncles, cousins, second cousins.....how far out do you want me to go?
and we have honorary nieces & nephews too - some of our kids' friends are here so often they might as well be viewed as close family!

I've no idea what's usual, we knew a lot of families of all sizes, many of them are big families (even with 13 kids!), but I still think our family is more unusual than yours on average.

sorry your DH is feeling lonely.

I have 5 siblings, 1 dc, 8 nieces/nephews, 6 great nieces/nephews that I'm in regular contact with. So 20,

About once a year they all come to lunch at the same time. Fun but completely exhausting .

I have both my parents
Husband has both parents
I have 5 siblings and their partners ( 4 out of the 5 have 4 children and the other has 2 children)
Myself and my husband have 9 children ( 7 of them have partners and we have 1 Grandson.
I've got lots of cousins
My husband has 3 siblings and their wife/ husband's.
Both my husband have got 6 Aunts and Uncles, and their husbands and wives.
We have a huge family, it has it's good points, and it has it's downsides too.
We all get on very well, and see each other regularly. Planning to meet up can be a nightmare getting everyone in one place at the same time.
It was difficult during Covid lockdowns, we all missed each other terribly.

I've got a cousin I'm in regular touch with, and a distant cousin that I keep in touch with, but not all that often. That's it.

I have ds, my mum, my brother & his twin dc, that is all, my brother has a wife but she has chosen to cut us all out of her life.

... my DP is from an enormous, sprawling family, and it makes me very envious.