Just feeling a bit let down

[FreeChuro]

Not sure what I'm after here to be honest, just feeling a bit fragile and a bit sad.

Basically I've had horrible painful swelling for a couple of weeks (assumed it was part of an ongoing problem- it turns out it's not) and I now have a hard lump in the same place which drs have suggested may be cancer and have fast tracked me to have a scan. I told my manager everything. On friday I recieved my date for the scan, it's this week and work wont allow me to take it off as they cant get cover.

Just feeling a bit unimportant as this could potentially be quite serious.

Phone in sick. Your work are bloody ridiculous and it's far more important for you to attend a scan. If they can't get cover, tough shit.

I’m sorry you’re in this stressful situation regarding your health.

Your manager has to sort cover, they cannot prevent you from attending your appointment, it’s not like a gp appointment that you might be able to choose a time (well back in the old days anyway!).

I contemplated calling in sick but I work in childcare so there would be no one there to look after my class. We are a small setting and horribly understaffed and I think I'd feel too guilty to do that. Also manager would not be impressed as she knows I want it off.

I would also call in sick. Your health is more important in this situation.

Tough shit. Your health is so much more important, what are you going to do to get a scan instead? What if they only offer weekday appointments? You've given them notice therefore up to them to get agency staff.

You're having a scan to check for suspected cancer!!!!

For God's sake OP, don't miss that! Without wanting to scare you, delaying diagnosis could literally mean the difference between life and death.

I would point out to the manager that if you're that indispensable then they would want to ensure you get timely diagnostics and treatment to ensure your continued presence. Right? Then let silence happen. 😶

@FreeChuro

I contemplated calling in sick but I work in childcare so there would be no one there to look after my class. We are a small setting and horribly understaffed and I think I'd feel too guilty to do that. Also manager would not be impressed as she knows I want it off.

So what? It doesn't matter if your manager wouldn't be impressed. They sound awful. Do you think if it were them they'd keep working? Because I think a) they'd probably put more effort in finding cover and b) go anyway.

Your health is important. This isn't something you can risk leaving unchecked. Put yourself and your health first!

This is absolutely shameful. You go to the scan, of course you go to the scan.

The manager needs to wake up and realise what the employee market is like at the moment too.

I do get a day off during the week most weeks, my day is already set for this day off (DC birthday this week too) I'm just worried to cancel and not to be offered another one for ages. Also just a bit hurt because we are a very tight team and we are all friends and do lots outside of work together too.

Definitely go to the appointment.

And start looking for another job!

Hope it goes well OP.

They can get supply cover surely. Your health comes first. Do not be the person who wishes she went to the hospital sooner. Best of luck.

OP you should never give more of yourself to a job than they’d give to you
Do not prioritise your job over your health when they wouldn’t do the same for you

You need to prioritise the appointment. You don’t know when they’ll be able to offer you another one if you turn this one down. Can you talk to your GP about it?

@ShirleyPhallus

OP you should never give more of yourself to a job than they’d give to you Do not prioritise your job over your health when they wouldn’t do the same for you

Completely agree with this.

You have to go to your appointment.

Is there anyone more senior you can speak to?

Any scope to swap your day off? I know its DC birthday but you can still make it nice if you have to work.

Email manager for a paper trail.

Dear manager,

Further to my request for x date off work to attend an urgent fast check scan for possible cancer.

Can you confirm you are refusing me the time off for this appointment?

If so can you please send me the absence policy.

Regards

Xxxx

Whatever you do though attend that appointment. However you take it. Even if you take it as emergency leave or sick leave on the day and get unpaid leave.

It will never stand up if there is consequences.

If you are a close team can you approach someone off on the day of the appointment & ask them to cover for you for a few hours for the appointment? I can’t imagine a friend wouldn’t help in this situation & it’s reads as though you are friends aswel as colleagues?

Bloody hell OP, please, please go to your appointment, no job is worth risking your health for. I’m appalled that despite knowing the circumstances, your boss won’t let you have it off, awful. You really must attend this appointment and I would be messaging your manager saying this could literally be life or death and you are not risking losing your life for this job and therefore will be attending the appointment. If she wants to sack you, let her, she’ll then be royally fucked so I highly doubt she’d do this abs if you’ve been there over 2 years she wouldn’t be able to do that anyway.

I completely agree with @itsgettingwierd

Thank you everyone for your kind words, I'll think about my options, not sure if I'll even do anything because I'm a massive pushover but all of your lovely words have made me feel less alone and like I'm not being dramatic to be upset

You have to go to the appt!

Don’t be a pushover, it could be the difference between a good and not-good outcome! Do whatever it takes to get to that appt, things don’t get escalated without concrete reason. Take care of yourself.

Don't be a pushover. This is madness OP. Your work would replace you tomorrow if it suited them to. Don't be ridiculous, go to your appointment!

Please go to the appointment. My husband was indispensable and a workaholic. Not wanting to frighten or depress you, but he’s no longer around. Time REALLY matters in situations like this.