How many of you have made it?

[washerdrier]

Another thread about spending money and saving for a deposit to buy a house got me thinking about how so many people seem to be in a situation where they're either renting and saving to buy, just married and saving to have kids or in some other way squirrelling money away for the next stage...

I feel like the generations before us didn't really live like this.

I just wondered by show of hands how many of us have made it... I.e. completed their family, in their forever home, pensions ticking along, fun money available each week. Vs how many of us are still striving to get there? Bonus points for sharing your age.

57 and content.

Was 21 in the 80s and bought a bedsit with a friend. Best decision ever. We shared one room in single beds, no telly or other furniture as we literally slept there and worked to make the money to live life and party.

Bought a flat next, she had the living room, I had the bedroom (we cut cards for it)... again we virtually just slept there. At one point interest rates of 14.5% which meant 75% of my wages went on my share of the mortgage... Talk about living on the edge, but I was still young...

Then interest rates dropped and went out on my own and bought a 3 up 2 down house in the nicest part of town that I live in today, paid off, now have a family too, 2 daughters, that we are paying through uni.
They won't do what I did, to get to what I have, the idea horrifies them. But needs must...

Age 33.

Married with two young DC. SAHM at the moment, DH runs local professional business which I will probably join when DC are older as I'm qualified in the same field.

Moved to our forever home in the countryside last year and kept our old house as a rental. Potential for extension/conversion of buildings here for possible holiday let type business one day.

I do consider we have made it. Our lifestyle is certainly not lavish but we feel secure and don't worry about day to day expenditure. We don't aspire to a typically expensive lifestyle (cars, clothes, holidays etc) but we do love having a nice property in beautiful countryside.

HOWEVER it is not without its stresses. My DH generally loves his work but is having tremendous problems recruiting staff at the moment, meaning he is under huge pressure to cover vacant roles and feels really swamped at the moment. It will pass, but if he was an employee rather than a director he wouldn't have to deal with this sort of thing, however we wouldn't lead the life we lead.

My grandparents had a council house before the days of being allowed to buy them. Parents had a two bed house, owned. Money was put aside for bills every week and anything new was saved for. Rarely had meals out, takeaways unheard of, holidays were a week in a caravan.

Our house is bigger and worth about £500,000 +.

Our children will do better and have more than we do.

Mortgage rates were at an all time high when we bought our first house. We had the black and white TV on a box, second hand furniture and no car, but DH had a van for work. He worked six days a week, I worked weekdays and had another job on Saturdays.

Most of my pension pot went towards helping the children to buy property.

I'm 33, DH 34.

Household income is £130k combined.

We live in a 3-bed detached in a fairly nice area; it isn't our forever home.

1 DC and 2 dogs. No plans to have more of either.

Since lockdown both of our jobs have been made permanent WFH, so we made the decision to sell DHs car recently and just use one between us. This means we can now save around £2k a month compared to 1 preciously.

We're very comfortable financially and can have treats/sent DC to private school, but we're a long way from having "made it" in my opinion e.g. our pensions still need a lot of work and we're likely to relocate to the US in the next couple of years for DHs job, so we'd like to have a decent amount in savings by then to buy a property outright once we get there and not have to worry about renting/buying with credit.

Hmm.. I'd say we're on the fence in that we're on our second family home, and it's more or less fine for our needs, but still uncertain whether we want to go for our 'forever home' or stay put and pay off the mortgage in about 15 years.

We're late 30s and very much done with two DC. 5 and 3 so only minimal childcare to pay. I work part-time and DH full-time and combined salary is about £60k but in SE. Both have public sector pensions and we have about 2-3 months salary saved. Managed to up our monthly savings recently as paid off car loan so aim to save around 1/4 salary a month.

I feel fairly satisfied with how things are going.

My DGPs, my DPs and I all had to save really hard to get our first homes. We all had second hand furniture and went without carpets.

I'm 55. I'm in a good position but not as good as some because it's just been me doing it. I'm looking forward to my last house and holidays

I feel lucky in many ways, but not like I've made it. I'm engaged to my soulmate and we have a daughter, that part is perfect. My partner owns our house which is a 3 bed detached that needs some work. I've gone through a career charge and will be a SAHM for a year so my career will stagnate, which I'm fine with. My partner earns well.
I will feel like I've made it when we have multiple income streams and not reliant on one job for income. Hopefully continue to be happy in our relationship and my daughter is just my world.

Interesting question as a recent massive reduction in childcare fees, plus paying off car and kitchen loans, has suddenly freed up a lot of disposable income for us. I think this probably means we've made it, and now we're trying to decide what we're aiming for in the next stage of our lives, and to be honest it's not 100% clear! We could decide, for example, to have a third child, buy a bigger house or send our DC to private school (but probably not all three).

To answer your question, I'm 38, 2 DC, both DH and I have good solid careers with good salaries and pensions. Live in a 1200 ft 4 bed house in the centre of a nice village, which we've done up and is lovely and perfect for now, but not massive as the DC grow bigger.

Does one ever stop? When my dad passed away at 79 (born in 1929), he was planning on building another house, which required a certain amount of financial rejigging. I'm 59 and still have a child in school, I'm renovating my house (certainly not my forever home), saving to buy crittal style doors for it, buying a holiday lodge, about to start a new business...
I think the day you think you're done and put your feet up is when you start fading. I've been watching Prue Leith's program about her new house and garden - now there's a woman well into her 80s who is not about to end her days quietly baking and minding the grandkids, even with all her achievements she isn't thinking she's done and dusted.
I think people make assumptions about past generations - my parents lived through the depression, wars, and social unrest. Yes they could survive, once my father reached a certain seniority, on one salary, but that didn't stop them forever reaching, my mother getting a masters and stating a new business in her late 50s. It may appear as if some people have 'made it', but I bet they mind their pennies and still have to plan carefully (obviously some exceptions). And if they have reached a level of security, their children may not have which has its own consequences.

Interesting reading this thread after watching an Adam Curtis doc last night lol 🧐👀

I'm happy with where we are at the mo. Both 33 with three kids (7,4,4) about 70k left to pay off mortgage. House is worth about 275k (4 bed 2 bath semi in a nice area and don't plan on moving again). We have a car each but not brand new (not fussed about having the latest, happy so long as it goes!) I work 16 hours a week while the kids are at school and I can do pick ups and drop offs so no childcare costs. Dh works full time. Plenty of days out etc. We're carefull with our money, Dh is a wizz with the accounts so can't take any credit there.

I think I tend to need a goal to aim at, but not necessarily financial. It just helps divide up the next bit of the future, so I don't look around and think "now what?" If I thought I'd "made it" I think I'd feel weird I like to have a project on the go even if I only have tiny bits of time: studying, volunteer stuff, DIY etc.

I drive an older but reliable car, we have modest UK holidays visiting friends/family. Usually I have savings but I just had to have the roof replaced AND the boiler fixed, so the savings pot is looking very bare! But we manage comfortably on my salary (single parent, mid-forties), I generally like my job, our house is small but well maintained, my child is happy and healthy, my parents and brother live nearby and I see them often: life is good and I'm fully aware we're very lucky.

" If I thought I'd "made it" I think I'd feel weird"

I totally get this. I am on my 3rd country and not sure if I have a 4th or 5th in me. Definitely a 4th I think. I am 53. To me "made it" is all sorted and waiting to die as you have it all planned out. I still have a bit of adventure in me. I look at those "buy a ruin house in Italy for 1 euro articles and dream a little. I have no idea what the future holds. It can be nerve-wracking at 4am sometimes. But then again my life is entirely different to what I thought it would be 20 years ago. Who knows for the next 20?

52 and have probably made it. Now helping support DC financially through university years so planning on working 3-5 more years until they’re finished.

I'm 42 and nowhere near made it, doubt I ever will. Now reading this thread has made me feel even shittier than I did before.

Just bad decisions over the years that has led to here. Nothing I feel like I can do either.

I’m late 40s single mum, house with small mortgage 2xDC. Work in a school to fit round kids, income not great but we get by and the fact I don’t smoke or drink makes a difference

I'm amazed how young some of the people on this thread are when they retire. 51, 52... WHY?

I'm late 40s and love working and have no intention of retiring yet, assuming my job doesn't make me redundant because a 20-something would be cheaper! I really hope I am still doing this in ten years' time, and can't imagine how depressed I'd feel if I stopped work this young.

@Firesidefox

I'm amazed how young some of the people on this thread are when they retire. 51, 52... WHY?

I'm late 40s and love working and have no intention of retiring yet, assuming my job doesn't make me redundant because a 20-something would be cheaper! I really hope I am still doing this in ten years' time, and can't imagine how depressed I'd feel if I stopped work this young.

You’re just unimaginative

I’m one of the poster who mentioned planning to retire at 50. I absolutely adore my job and it provides huge mental stimulation for me, but I’d love to retire early and travel. Would probably look at doing some consultancy work at some stage. I currently sit on the Board of a charity so would also probably look at more board memberships on a voluntary and non-voluntary basis.

Retirement doesn’t mean sitting down and waiting to die, it’s a new chapter to explore things that you may not have had time for while working. For me, this means more of a focus on travel and hobbies. I’m very much looking forward to it, and my financial planning is aligned to being able to do so.

Yes I guess so. Age 58 and I no longer work for anyone else. Looking to downsize the house as the children are gone but there is simply nothing suitable around at the moment so still striving for that.

I can't agree that we had it easy though. I remember paying 15% on my mortgage when I'd just had my second child and was on maternity leave. I also had to pay for all nursery hours and childcare out of my net salary.

No luxuries at all. We were mortgaged to the hilt as it was and in real danger of losing our home.

Each generation faces its own struggles.

@OrangeBananaFish

I'm 42 and nowhere near made it, doubt I ever will. Now reading this thread has made me feel even shittier than I did before.

Just bad decisions over the years that has led to here. Nothing I feel like I can do either.

Likewise, and I imagine we're not the only ones. I'm a bit older, still stuck renting after failing to get a career going before having children and marrying a lovely but unambitious man. My only plan for retirement is death.

My grandparents had to live with my Nan’s parents for years after my mum was born to save up for things. My parents seemed better off but both only moved out of their parents homes in their late 20s.

Haven’t RTFT but ways in which i feel ive ‘made it’

Very happy, long marriage of 25 years to someone I adore
Loads of fabulous sex still
Happy adult children - who have overcome some issues but seem settled
Fulfilling career, interesting well paid job which isn’t stupid hours
AFAIK im healthy
Good long standing friendships

In terms of material things
low mortgage, lots of equity
House worth over £2m, plenty of savings

We both come from poor backgrounds and didn’t have any help financially from parents. We have worked for many years and will retire next year. We are in our 50s.

But 'travel and hobbies' for maybe 30, 40-odd years @ThelmaMadine ? I'd kill myself!

@Firesidefox

But 'travel and hobbies' for maybe 30, 40-odd years *@ThelmaMadine* ? I'd kill myself!

I love my job but there are so many other things I want to do too. I can’t imagine being bored not working as I have so many plans for how I would spend my time!

Id love to know what these jobs are that are more fulfilling and appealing than hobbies and travel?