How many of you have made it?

[washerdrier]

Another thread about spending money and saving for a deposit to buy a house got me thinking about how so many people seem to be in a situation where they're either renting and saving to buy, just married and saving to have kids or in some other way squirrelling money away for the next stage...

I feel like the generations before us didn't really live like this.

I just wondered by show of hands how many of us have made it... I.e. completed their family, in their forever home, pensions ticking along, fun money available each week. Vs how many of us are still striving to get there? Bonus points for sharing your age.

39. I bought a fixer upper house (3 bed semi) nine years ago and had two children in the meanwhile. We’ve done downstairs now but the refurb isn’t yet finished - we’re currently saving for a new bathroom.

My plan is to see a mortgage advisor and look at moving in the next year, to another 3 bedroom house in a slightly nicer area with more space downstairs. Once that’s done we should be able to think about upping pension contributions and actually developing a cushion of savings.

I'm 57 . Straight out of school into a factory at 16 . Married at 18 two DC by 23 . We bought a tiny house with a 100% mortgage and interest rates of 14.5% . It had no carpets we both walked two miles each way to work . Him in the morning and me as soon as he got home after his day . I cleaned for three hours a night . Black and white tv and all furniture secondhand. Eventually moved to a slightly bigger house and husband then had to have two jobs to afford it . Finally were given a colour tv in 1988. Was never able to afford to modernise that house . Slowly slowly over the years the struggle got less and eventually property prices enabled us to move forward and only have one job each . The struggle was real and brutal just different to today .

Didn't mean to sound like a Hovis advert 😂 sorry

I'm 52. Was single parent of now adult DD at 18 but worked for qualification and long hours in a career for a long time. Now have 2 more teenage DS. Self employed for 10 years when DC were young. Now work 3 days a week on good part time wage- I call it semi retired.
DH ( 57) on high salary thinking of retiring soon but grew up in poverty and worried it will all disappear overnight.

Between us we have good pension pot.
house we live in, 2 rentals, good savings, no debt.

Neither of us ever had inheritances, but we are both able to be very frugal when needed. Now allow ourselves to splash out occasionally.

Id say we have made it but need to convince DH to slow down.

[quote BrutusMcDogface]@flashbac I totally agree. The thread has made me feel like shit if I’m honest.[/quote]
Same. I started to write ours but then I realised I didn't want to as everyone else seems to be in a much better position. Wish I never read this thread

I feel my own parents did have to save for everything. We didn't have very much growing up. Id say we got by from week to week with not much else to spare.

I'm 42, working since I'm 16, saved hard bought my starter house at 25, took time to party and have fun then met my husband at 30, married at 35, first baby at 36 last baby at 41, finished family, moved to our forever home 3 years ago but we don't really have fun money at the moment. We make enough to get by with childcare costing a fortune but when my youngest goes to school we will have money to do more then.

@StrawberrySanta @BrutusMcDogface @flashbac I'm sorry, I didn't mean to create a thread that would upset anyone. I dont know if you read my follow up post but if it makes you feel any better I'm 40 and a single mum in a council place which we were given a year ago after sleeping on a friend's floor for 4 months. I'm not working and I don't have a car never mind a house or any savings.

I asked the question more because it feels like everyone around me is on this treadmill of striving for the next stage all the time and it's not something I saw as a kid from my parents or grandparents or aunts and uncles. But nor did anyone back then seem to be where I am which is middle aged and have absolutely nothing.

It feels like it was easier to get on the housing ladder, have your 2.4 kids, go to work and have a bit of play money and be happy with your lot. Maybe it's the class/area I was brought up in.

washerdrier now you have a permanent home do you have other plans for your life? I know when I was homeless I didn’t have the energy to think of anything else. Has the thread inspired you or made you feel worse?

You don’t have nothing, you have a child and a home.

I like to think I've made it.

Bought a house at 21 (75k) made good profit and bought a house with my OH at 27 with both our contributions. V small mortgage left on our forever home.

We have enough for bills and fun money, hoping it will only get better. I'm 27.

My parents have worked tirelessly to become mortgage free and had fantastic careers, they definitely have helped me make good decisions like buying a house early.

Well I’m in my sixties been married 42 years. When we got married in 1979 we were living at home with our parents. We had to save a certain amount each month with building society before you were even considered for a mortgage and interest rates were high!
We bought a one bedroom tenement flat with a cupboard for a kitchen with a disgusting old gas cooker(couldn’t afford a new one) we had to clean it with stuff you used to clean car engines with, we didn’t have a washing machine we were so bloody poor even though we both worked but we saved what we could to get carpets and things (no handouts from parents)
Two kids and two houses later I would say we have made it, nice house plenty holidays money to spare also took early retirement 😊
We help our kids out as much as we can, would never see them struggle as we had to.
I actually think people have it a bit better now there’s more help with buying first houses help with child care which my generation didn’t have, we had to work opposite shifts from each other when ours were young.
The early years were hard work but it’s all been worth it, I think🤔😂

@DampSquidGames

washerdrier now you have a permanent home do you have other plans for your life? I know when I was homeless I didn’t have the energy to think of anything else. Has the thread inspired you or made you feel worse?

It's definitely inspired me. There seem to be many who got married young and stayed with that person which must make things so much easier... double income from the off. But plenty of others who got it all together later in life.

I feel like I spent a long time surviving rather than planning and then COVID delayed moving forward even more. But I've definitely felt a switch in the past few months and I'm starting to see a more secure future

@DampSquidGames

You don’t have nothing, you have a child and a home.

That is very true!

I agree with you. When we were kids no one ever seemed to move house. You lived in a 2/3 bed semi/terraced in a normal street regardless of family size. It was normal to share a bedroom. We were a family of 6 in a 3 bed. My mum grew up in a 2 bed toilet in the yard and was a family of 8. Didn't have her own bed let alone her own room. My parents still live in the first house they bought. The houses on their street and the surrounding areas are now marketing as first time buyers homes as though they're just the first step on the ladder where in reality they are plenty big enough for the average family.
Things are very different now. You only have to go on the property board and there are people looking for huge houses for more space because they have outgrown their houses. People doing huge extensions. The forever home is constantly talked about. It's hard not to get caught up in it all

I'm madly saving so I can retire before 67 if I want. Need my mortgage paid off asap. I'm 53.

I’m maybe a bit younger (late 30’s) but my parents were definitely part of the ‘rat race’ so to speak.
I lived in 4 houses from birth-18, bigger and nicer each time. Parents both going for promotions etc.

51. Newly retired. Very happily married to DH and living in a lovely Georgian house in a nice village. No mortgage and we also own a BTL house nearby. DD1 happily settled at university and we can comfortably afford to put her in lovely accommodation and give her a generous allowance - she's living her best life! DD2 in 6th form, also living her best life.

Plenty of disposable fun money, never really have to think 'can we afford it?'. Three holidays planned for next year. DH recently inherited a very substantial sum when his Mum passed away. This is allowing us to provide our DDs with very large deposits for their first houses. It also means we can now buy a 2nd home in Cornwall for our own use, and also to AirBnB it.

So, yes these really are golden years for us but we never take them for granted and are very grateful.

41, both work full time on decent salaries, happily childfree. We have no debt, mortgage will be paid off in the next eight years. Hoping for an early retirement, ideally abroad.

We're in quite a good position which is partly down to luck (husband sold a property in the housing boom when we first got together which provided the deposit for our first joint home), being careful spenders and having no kids obviously helps.

36 and 39.

Me migrant. Him local to UK.

2 kids - 1.5 and 6.

Household income - £120K a year

In 4 bed house in south east. Plans to sell and move to nicer area closer to schools in 5-6 years all being well.

[quote washerdrier]@cuttlefishgame that's certainly what I saw from my parents and grandparents. They all had far less than most who've responded on this thread but seemed much more resigned to their lifestyle [/quote]
I'd say content rather than resigned. People were far happier to accept their lot and place in the world, and were far less materialistic than people are now.

There was a lot less in the way of social climbing too!

Age 59

Married and bought first flat aged 22.

Had children when I was aged 28, 30 & 35.

Live in a lovely 4 bed house now, mortgage paid off, children left home. We have a good pension pot and plenty of money to enjoy life.

We are very comfortable, but it was hard won.

Final salary and state pension will bring us up to about £48,000, next August, so will be swapping like for like, lifestyle wise.

DH's company also had a very generous % for staff into a personal pension, there is about £200K in there, we went without pay rises for years to get here. Obviously that will not be £200k by the time we pay tax on it, which is fair enough as we have had the tax relief on it up to now.

We really struggled in the early years and now make no apologies for the situation we find ourselves in.

Sadly my mother is not well and when the family home is sold there will be an inheritance similar to the company pot.

We are not big spenders at the best of times and holidays aside, not sure how we will spend it. DS will be delighted.

This is a very interesting thread, as a previous PP who got married in the 70's things were very much harder then. Credit, loans, mortgages were very much harder to obtain, therefore you had to save for items.
I think many younger people nowadays think that the "baby Boomers" generation had things a lot easier, but I remember trying to get a mortgage as a single woman but as I was of child bearing age it just wasn't possible. Most people got their mortgages through their jobs (everyone consequently wanted to work for a bank or insurance company!)
There was also a shortage of properties to buy. There was widespread queing overnight when new developments came on the market. I am heartened that 3 of my adult DC's are property owners at a far younger age than DH and I were when we first bought.
OP I sincerely hope it all works out for you, don't feel that you have missed out, or have been left behind, just look forward.
Good luck

I don't know if I will ever have made it , it's not in my nature.. I'm ambitious, so once each goal is achieved its on to the next one. I'm mid thirties household income around 90k, married I've DC no plans for any more. We own a large 3 bed house, mortgage is manageable, we live comfortably and save around £700-£1000 a month. Our kitchen is pretty old so that's the next target house wise, we've done all of the living and bedroom spaces and the bathroom, we bought the house as a complete wreck. I am very debt adverse so we save for each renovation project, we saved and paid for our wedding, cars, holidays etc. That might feel like striving to some but to me it's security. I could borrow more on the mortgage and do the kitchen and extension now, but it's not necessary. After that we want to extend into the list so when he is older DS has a bedroom, study and bathroom of his own. Again not necessary but we don't go without anything we particularly want to save and it all adds value long term. We live in an area by the sea with great schools so won't want to move for a long time.

We haven't had any cash hand outs, both worked two jobs for years and both still do voluntary overtime to pay for things