How many of you have made it?

[washerdrier]

Another thread about spending money and saving for a deposit to buy a house got me thinking about how so many people seem to be in a situation where they're either renting and saving to buy, just married and saving to have kids or in some other way squirrelling money away for the next stage...

I feel like the generations before us didn't really live like this.

I just wondered by show of hands how many of us have made it... I.e. completed their family, in their forever home, pensions ticking along, fun money available each week. Vs how many of us are still striving to get there? Bonus points for sharing your age.

@BrutusMcDogface
Please don’t feel bad, everyone is only ever a change of circumstances a completely different life. If my DH left me I’d have a lump sum but don’t earn enough to get a mortgage etc. And these threads always appeal to the ones who can say yes compared to the ones who would say no.

I'm 36. Due to get married next year after a 4 year engagement (thanks Covid). Have 1 DC and pregnant with number 2. We bought our first home 3 years ago. The 3rd bedroom is tiny so I imagine we'll move somewhere bigger when the DC are a bit older.

DP is settled in his career. I'm at a bit of a career crossroads. We're financially comfortable right now but I may decide to retrain after maternity leave.

I'm hoping to have "made it" by my early 40s. By that I mean married, have a better job, got the nursery fees years out of the way, moved to a bigger house and can then focus on holidays and stuff. Right now all my money is slated for the wedding and nursery fees.

33, one DC. Single parent, in a long term relationship but don't live together.

4 bed house, am putting £800 pcm into my pension - my employer contribution is shit. I take home about £3.5k per month and invest £550 of that plus overpay mortgage by £200.

Aiming to pay off mortgage by the time I'm 42 but this will require quite a lot of sacrifice and tbh sometimes I think "fuck it, stop with the pensions/saving and buy yourself that bloody sofa/garden item/get the kitchen tiled/whatever".

So yes in a way I've "made it", I know I'm fortunate to have a good salary and to have the choice to invest/save etc, but at the same time I feel a bit beholden to my financial goals and should perhaps learn to spend money today a bit more, and in that way I'm not sure I have "made it".

I would also secretly like another baby one day but I have (a) health issues that make it unlikely (b) I'm scared about the cost (c) my job is stressful and not sure I could manage work and a baby (d) my DC has ADHD and has driven me (literally) to the brink of a breakdown in the past and not sure I could hack it again. So again, money ain't everything. Oh, and I pretend to everyone I know, including DP, that I couldn't imagine anything worse than having more children, so I don't have to admit any of the above.

Pretty much there, I'm 38 - dh 40

I'm in my mid 40s. DH late 40s. We've got jobs, 2 DC, a house that will do (it's small but I don't want to stretch ourselves too much).

We have a bit of fun money but end up in our overdraft every month (not through having fun sadly!)

We don't have much in the way of savings though our pensions are slowly growing.

We have some equity in our house and are overpaying our mortgage.

I'm not sure we've "made it" or ever will but we're managing.

I feel like the generations before us didn't really live like this.

This is absolute bullshit. My parents lived in a bed sit with a shared toilet when they first got married so they could save to buy a house. They went to the public baths twice a week. This was the early 70s.

Throughout their working life they worked hard and went without many things so they could provide for me and my siblings and could save for the future. They now feel better off as pensioners because they worked and saved bloody hard for it.

I contrast that to the 20-somethings at my work who moan they can’t afford to buy a place, whilst being a member of an expensive gym, eating out with friends at least once a week, getting ubers all over the place and going abroad numerous times a year (covid permitting).

The work ethic is completely different.

42. 3 bed (boring) house in lovely location. Mortgage is 25% of house value. "Golden" public sector pension bit I've been part time a while so it'll be reduced.

Earn 75k between us, enough to save, for me to work 4 days a week and not worry about day to day money. We have investments, overpay the mortgage. Don't do foreign holidays and mad cars etc but it's not our thing. House isn't perfect but it's cosy, homely.

We have far less than many of my friends but I am not as stressed in high pressure job. Purposely stayed a pleb at work! I don't feel like I have to keep up with the Jones's.

So I reckon I have it pretty good

I feel like ive 'made it' im 48.

Managed to hold onto my job through several maternity leaves/round of redundancies.

Managed to hold onto my childrens home (and their stability and wellbeing) during horrific divorce.

Managed to hold onto my sanity through pandemic whilst both working and homeschooling.

For relevance of initial struggles with housing. in my first home, i had newspaper up at the windows to act as curtains until i could afford curtains and a hand me down bed settee until i could afford a mattress and a sofa.

Early on, i chose a career for monetry potential rather than love and fulfilment.

[quote BrutusMcDogface]@flashbac I totally agree. The thread has made me feel like shit if I’m honest.[/quote]
Don't feel shit. I'm probably going to get slated for what I'm about to say but...

Everyone on this thread has acquainted having made it by the most money they have or can spend. People believe it will bring them security..
This pandemic has proved that money can't protect anyone. And those that are making plans for 30yrs time etc. The planet is going to look a lot different for them and their childrens lives. No about of money is going to save anyone from that.

Making it in life is about so much more than money. I'm my opinion obviously.

@Babybellblue @AMistakePlusKeleven

Not even close to having made it by most standards - 37, young children, both work but low waged, own a third of our house, wonderful husband, not an awful lot left to spare at the end of the month, happy with my lot though.

In forever home (although could be persuaded to upgrade down the line, but would have to be something pretty wow), completed family, have disposable income - but - no pension yet. Late 20's. Relying on husband's guaranteed income increases over the next 5 years to invest and sort pensions.

I’m 54 husband 60 mortgage paid off last year, we have pensions and savings. My husband and I have earned average wages but having worked in banking from being 18 I made conscious decisions about what I would spend my money on until I met my husband and then on what we would spend our money on, having witnessed people in debt and financial difficulties.
I bought my first house at 22 and met my husband at 24 married at 31.
We’ve chosen to not do certain things and prioritised savings and pensions which has helped to put us in the position we are now.
I’m not saying my way was totally the right way, as I do have a few regrets, but overall we’re comfortable financially and in a position where we can also help our children onto the property ladder when the time comes.

But this is pretty much it for us. The only way I can earn more is to go up, but the level of stress for an extra 5 grand isn't worth it. Dh earns less than 40 and can't earn any more. If he gets a job closer to home, he'll earn even less. No idea how much pension I have, cos I'm assuming I won't end up getting it. Either I'll be too ill or it won't be worth what I've put in.

Yep. 39 here. I was also a 'Teen Mum' and now have a 16 and 21yr old about to start a PHD. People IRL cant get their head around that, because i had a child at 18. I have 8 yrs left on the mortgage, a decent pension plan, and I don't ever worry about putting food on the table or paying bills.

Reading this it seems marrying young... and not divorcing makes things much easier. Shop has sailed for me!

I got a 100% mortgage in 1992 and bought my own 2 bedroom terraced house by myself in the South of England. I was 5 years into my Management career.
Quite laughable really, I made 100k on that place when I sold it in 2003.

I absolutely feel for young people, so difficult!

I've definitely made it
41 years old
Healthy
My kids are happy and healthy
My husband is my partner in every sense
We love each other
I'm employed
We have shelter, food, heating, water
I have friends
I have family
I live in a beautiful place in the world

Seriously, not trying to sounds trite or anything, but anyone who has all of that has made it.

@GalesThisMorning

I've definitely made it 41 years old Healthy My kids are happy and healthy My husband is my partner in every sense We love each other I'm employed We have shelter, food, heating, water I have friends I have family I live in a beautiful place in the world

Seriously, not trying to sounds trite or anything, but anyone who has all of that has made it.

I agree, you are very very lucky to have all of that.

@GalesThisMorning Yes I totally agree.

Thank you @ThePoisonousMushroom, I haven't always been so lucky, and of course I could lose it all one day, but I definitely feel that I have made it in life. Hopefully you too!

I’m 39 with a £110k+ salary
Home is 5 bedrooms worth over a million, with a very affordable mortgage (just over £1k per month)
Two kids - one in private school and the other has significant SEN so is home educated (not by me or DH)
DH same age and earns really well but earns less than me (£70k+)

We have savings, investments both in shares and more tangible things such as art etc. We do big holidays but they tend to be every other year. We have been in this financial/living situation for 3+ years.

BUT I wouldn’t say it is our forever home and if it is we have about £200k to spend to make it “right” and are trying to decide if we do the work or move. But mainly I would do anything to help my son. His situation breaks my heart all the time and I would give anything for him to be able to cope with other children/school. I don’t feel I will be settled until I know what his future holds for him and we can help him through as best as possible.

I’ve “made it” but I consider the pinnacle of “it” to be a healthy, happy family.

We have plenty of money and tick all the boxes on you original list, but everything could turn on a dime; health issues, divorce, death.

I feel like I made it when my last scan showed no more evidence of cancer after a year of grueling treatments and not being able to do anything for myself and thinking I had no future with my kids & husband.
I'm still striving career/money/fitness wise, but enjoying the process, and am generally happy anyway, despite not having hit my goals in these other areas yet.